


Blinding Devotion

by bright73



Category: Young Riders
Genre: Adventure, Cults, Drama, Gen, Religious Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-07-01
Updated: 1999-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-20 22:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bright73/pseuds/bright73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lou and Kid are broken up and Jimmy's just heard about Alice's death.<br/>Emotions are tense at the Waystation when a new congregation settles nearby.<br/>Lou falls for the charismatic Reverend, but is he really who he claims to be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is developed from one of Nesciri's many brilliant ideas. So in fact, it's really her story. Thank you for letting me use (abuse?) it!  
> And special thanks to Kirsten.

"Jimmy!"

Lou's voice rang out from outside the barn. He sighed and let the hay fall to the ground, for a split second he contemplated running. There was no way to hide in this place, and that was what he needed right now. To hide from the world and get himself back on track. He needed to forget and Cody's latest infatuation had made many bad memories surface yet another time. Alice foremost, the memories of her would never leave him, he knew that, but he had no idea it would haunt him night after night like it had these past weeks. And now Lou was coming again, trying to get him to talk and spill all his sorrows to her. "Yeah Lou?"

She appeared in the door and Jimmy threw her a halfhearted smile. "Something you wanted, Lou?"

"Hidin' again, huh?" She tilted her head and smiled at him, he couldn't help but chuckle. Lou had him figured out all right. Always did. She answered his smile and shook her head slightly, not believing Jimmy actually thought he could hide his hurt from his friends. "Kid told me you'd been in here since this morning, thought I'd come see how you were?"

"So you're on speaking terms today?" Jimmy asked sarcastically. Regretting it when Lou narrowed her eyes and curled her upper lip. "Sorry Lou!"

"Just can't help yourself can you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You have to take your hurt out on somebody else, don't you? Kid's been on the receiving end for a week now, won't you finally let up?"

"Why do you two keep defending each other, I thought it was over between the two of you!"

Lou stared back at him. Her face blank and Jimmy knew he was being unfair, no in fact he was being cruel. "Lou, I didn't mean to...I'm sorry, it came out wrong."

"We're your friends Jimmy, why do you keep pushing us away? What happened to cast you into this mood?"

Jimmy turned his attention back to the hay he was spreading. Angrily he flung it over into the stall. Lou let her eyes rest on him, silently watching his doings while absentmindedly chewing on a straw of hay. Her gaze made him nervous. Finally she had worn him down.  
"Alright Lou, there's obviously something you need to tell me, why don't you just spit it out and get it over with?"

"I just want to tell you I'm here if you need somebody to talk to."

Jimmy turned to the tiny rider. Leaning on the hay-fork he shook his head. "There's nothing to talk about Lou. It's over and it's all my fault. What else is there to say?"

"What's over?"

"Everything," Jimmy muttered angrily.

"Jimmy, Alice dying is not your fault. You didn't pull the trigger!"

Jimmy cast her an annoyed glance, she already knew so why was she putting on this unknowing act? "Might just as well have!"

"No Jimmy, you know that ain't true. Sometimes things happen that ain't nobody's fault at all. You couldn't have known and you shouldn't regret having loved her! It just happened Jimmy, it was wrong and hurtful but it happened. Don't go blaming yourself, there will be others, I've told you before."

Jimmy smiled tiredly and shook his head. "Lou, you're talking about yourself not me. I know you loved Kid, maybe you still do. If you're trying to get me to tell you that you both did the right thing, well maybe you did maybe you didn't. That's life Lou, you can't ever know."

Lou kept her eyes on him. She seemed so calm but he knew that underneath all the peace she was hurting. Both she and Kid were and they both tried to bend themselves double not showing it to one another. Not doing it very well. Their desperate trials to behave like old friends wasn't going so well, every once in a while one of them would forget and let everything shine through. Adding to the rest of the riders' amusement.

"There's one other thing I have to say, Jimmy."

Jimmy let the hay-fork go and flung his hands up in the air. She was not leaving him alone, that much was sure.

"It's time for supper," she told him before he had time to say anything at all. Jimmy remain staring at her when she turned and walked out of the barn. Then a smile started to tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Lou, wait up!" A couple of fast strides made him reach her side. Nudging her with his elbow he smiled at her. "Afraid to face the Kid, huh?"

Lou swatted him hard on the arm, muttering something he couldn't make out.

 

"Listen up, it's Sunday tomorrow, how long since any of you've been to church without being forced to?" Cody let his eyes sweep over the table. Ike hid a smile, Cody wasn't really interested in saving their souls, he wanted them to come look at his newest interest, the sweet Lindsay Lohen. Cody had been spending more time doing chores around the house of the new Pastor than on the Sweetwater waystation.

"Ike?" Cody was persistent, burying his eyes into Ike's and forcing him to come up with a good excuse.  
Ike looked around the table for some help. His eyes landed on Kid's, reading the plea in them, he stifled a laugh. They were both running out of excuses for not participating in Cody's new obsession.

Kid and I got a ride, Ike signed, relieved he had a good excuse this time, he wasn't about to reveal that Buck and Noah were due back late tomorrow. That would probably make the excuse fall flat on its face. He didn't think mucking out the stalls or mending the fences would always get him out of helping the good Pastor. He could hear Kid sigh in relief as Cody turned his eyes to Jimmy.

"Jimmy?"

"Aw Cody, don't start on me again. I've been out there two times this week, I ain't had enough sleep in days 'coz of you and your Pastor, not to mention the pain. Still got the blister's to prove it. I ain't cutting no more wood!"

"It's for a good cause, Pastor Allen is helping all these homeless and pregnant girls and young women, he takes them in when nobody else would. Jimmy, he's a good man!"

"Nobody said any different, Cody!" Teaspoon remarked from his place at the end of the table, "we ain't questioning the man's integrity or anything like that. We're just wondering when you're gonna start functioning around here too?"

Cody squirmed in his seat, he had been bribing everybody at the station to do his chores, now he sensed they'd not be so willing any longer. "I swear I won't ask anything of you again if you come to the sermon tomorrow, Pastor Allen has to get people to join up! If he don't, those poor girls will be out on the street again. And you know what that means!"

"Well..." Teaspoon stated, leaning back on his chair; "Cody here's probably right. It ain't like you've ruined too many pants sitting on a church bench. Maybe some words from the Lord would do you a world of good. I'd say you all go. Kid and Ike; Buck and Noah won't be back until late, you'll have plenty of time to attend."

"And what about you Teaspoon? Won't you give us the pleasure of your company?" Kid peered at the Stationmaster.

"Son, unlike you, I have work to do this Sunday morning," Teaspoon gave the Kid a look that tolerated no arguments from the rider.

Ike and Kid threw each other a desperate glance, Lou snickered to herself. Kid shifted his eyes to her from opposite the table and frowned. Lou had to lower her head not to laugh out loud at the face he made.

Cody noticed the smirk and patted Kid's shoulder. "Now that you ain't got no obligations, I'm sure there's plenty of girls for you, now that Samantha's gone and all."

Lou's laughter got stuck in her throat. Glancing up at Cody, she felt a sudden urge to kick him. Jimmy watched her from the corner of his eyes, a smile starting to form on his lips. "You're right Cody, we'll all be there, don't worry. I can see how deep your devotion is."

Rachel laughed hysterically at Jimmy's words. Cody looked like a skinned rooster, or maybe slightly worse.

 

Kid moved uneasy in his Sunday suit, he'd rather be brushing down Katy than riding in the buckboard to attend the sermon. The fact that Lou was sitting silently aside him didn't help matters much. Being around her caused pure pain. Seeing how she handled their break-up so calmly was even worse. Kid knew he had said a couple of things that had hurt her, what she didn't know was that he had to move on. And for that to happen he had to deny his feelings. Dwelling on what might have been was harder than pushing everything away. Still, he thought about her every instance, but she had said no and that was it. She didn't want him and he couldn't keep putting her in danger like he had been. It was over and there was nothing he could do. Except move on, if he'd ever find the strength. Now she sat at his side and he could feel her eyes on him, she was hurt by what he had done and said and he didn't know how to take those actions and words back. Knowing he had treated her wrong made the situation so much worse. He had to avoid her at any cost. Going back to being just friends wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be. Not for him anyways. Lou seemed to handle it with ease.

"Kid!"

He flinched when Jimmy's voice exploded into his ear, nearly knocking him off the buckboard. "Jimmy," he moaned rubbing his ear, hoping to stop the echoing in it.

"We're placing bets here Kid, would you kindly get back to this day and age. Lou says Cody will endure two weeks before he moves on to the next girl. Ike says a week and I've placed myself in between, I say ten more days." Jimmy looked expectantly at him. "Come on Kid, what's your guess?"

Kid threw a glance at Cody sitting besides Rachel up front. "Maybe he won't move on at all?" Kid muttered.

Cody? Ike signed, giving Kid a look like he doubted his sanity.

"Well, some people stay together, all their lives in fact. It's known to have happened." Kid mumbled, clearly uneasy about the topic.

"Well, huh...Kid...how many of these people do you actually know?" Jimmy asked.

Kid looked back at him, not knowing what to say. Hating the fact that they were discussing it all together. He felt Lou's eyes on him and found absolutely nothing to prove his earlier statement.

"See," Jimmy remarked and held out a hand, "place your bet and pick a number of days."

"Five," Kid said to get out of the discussion.

"So that's the span of your devotion," Jimmy observed matter-of-factly.

Lou turned her face away and stared out over the plains.

 

 

Cody jumped around like he had fleas attaching him. The riders stood back and watched their blond companion run around and talk to everyone. There were mostly young girls, some of them with children.

Lou noticed there was not many men other than Pastor Allen himself around. Not counting her bunkmates. Pastor Allen was young, maybe thirty and very handsome. Lou found herself staring at him, there was something mesmerizing about the man. He was tall and lean, a straight nose flanked by two bluish-green eyes. Much like the Kid's, Lou thought. Waking from her transfixed admiration of the man, she glanced around to see if she had been caught.

Kid watched her with squinted eyes.

Lou stuck her nose up in the air and turned her face back to take another look at the man. He was stunning, the high cheekbones and the white teeth that twinkled every time he smiled was enough to make anybody look twice. The dark hair gleaming in the sunshine. Lou found herself smiling, next time she'd come dressed as a girl. She wanted to get to know this man. When Pastor Allen walked towards their small congregation, Lou held her breath and tried to shield her face, this was not how she wanted him to see or get to know her. She'd come back more presentable, she'd bribe Cody into taking her here and presenting her like his cousin or something.

Pastor Allen shook their hands as Cody introduced them. Rachel lit up when the man bowed and kissed her hand. Their eyes met and Lou could have sworn Rachel blushed slightly. Jimmy and the Pastor shook hands like old friends, the man patting Jimmy's back and thanking him for the good work he'd put in. Kid just muttered as he shook the Pastor's hand. Lou fought the will to kiss the man's cheek and reveal the fact that she indeed was a girl. But maybe that was too much for the man, there's was more subtle ways to go about things, Lou giggled to herself. Lou noticed that Jimmy seemed to be completely at ease with the man. The three of them started towards the newly-built small Church-like building, discussing in low voices. The reverend holding Rachel's arm hooked around his. Lou turned to look at the Kid and tell him he was wrong, she sensed he had some reservations against the man. If Jimmy liked him he was all right.

Kid was turned to the buckboard, waving at Ike standing by the horses, hurrying him along to follow the group into the building. As he turned back and caught her looking, she read the reservation in his eyes, loud and clear. Lou snorted and turned to follow the rest. Kid never recognized the good things in life, and she was living proof of it. Maybe she had found the man that could make her forget?

Lou ran to catch up with Pastor Allen, leaving Kid and Ike far behind.


	2. Chapter 2

"Let's stay behind!" Kid wheezed to Ike as they walked into the room. In front there was a slightly elevated stage with an altar where Reverend Allen had placed himself, looking out over the congregation. Kid and Ike found an empty bench in the back. Gratefully they seated themselves in the darkest corner of the room, awaiting a long sleep inducing monologue. Kid threw a glance up front, Lou and the rest of the riders sat in the second row, looking expectantly at the man. Pastor Allen smiled in their direction and Kid felt the unease grow. Lou smiled back at the man.

Letting his eyes wander over the small group of people that had left their original Episcopal church in town to join the new, Kid noticed there were few men, maybe ten in all. Most of the attendees were young women, he spotted two or three families. This hit the Kid as strange in itself. But he knew he'd probably find everything about this man and his congregation strange since he noticed Lou's gaze at the man. He cringed at the memory of the overt admiration in it.

Kid, what are you thinking about? Ike's elbow in his side made him look at his friend. Ike had that teasing look on his face again, like he had caught the Kid in his deepest thoughts and was able to read them plain as a day.

Kid just sighed.

The reverend made a sign for them all to stand up as soon as everybody was seated. "Let's start with The Lord is our Shepherd, Miss Annabel is going to lead us in this song."

I'm glad he didn't pick Cody to do this, Ike remarked with a grin. Kid had to fight the laughter as he pictured Cody wailing aside the Pastor. He was silenced as the young woman started to sing. Her voice was like crystal, carrying every tone with purity. There was something in the voice that forced you to listen. After the first verse the woman noticed nobody was singing so she raised her hands and gave them a sign to join in. Some did, but most of them were still quiet.

Then the rhythm of the melody changed, a drum started to pound in the exact rhythm of Kid's heartbeat. Then it slowly increased its pace, rising everybody's heart-rate with it. Three girls emerged from the sidewalk to join in the exhilarated melody. Clapping their hands they enhanced the rhythm and more people joined in the song. People started to clap hands and move to the rhythm, Kid found his own feet following the given pace. The girls' voices got lighter and more joyful, Annabel lead them all into "Oh Happy Day" and almost everyone joined in the alluring ecstasy. Kid felt Ike's hand on his arm.

This is not like any Sunday Mass I ever went to, Ike signed to the Kid. It's kind of nice! Look at the girls! Ike motioned at the three girls on the stage, dancing and clapping their hands, occasionally swirling around to the tune.

Kid finally relaxed, he had no idea what he had been expecting but Ike was right, this was no doomsday preaching, it was joy of living. He couldn't see Lou anymore, her tiny figure was covered behind Jimmy's taller form. A girl stepped up to him and invited him to join in the song. Kid's jaw almost dropped to the floor when he witnessed Jimmy clap his hands and sing. The girl standing at his side smiled a radiant smile at him and Jimmy smiled back.

"You're right Ike, they've even got Jimmy smiling!" Kid chuckled in Ike's direction.

See, they can work miracles in this place! Ike shot back with a happy grin.

 

Jimmy was baffled, how come Pastor Allen said he knew Jacob and the Brudershaft if his church was this different? He remembered their silent ways and solemn worship, it was nothing like this! Lou cast him a glance to tell him to get out of his misery and join in the song. She was clapping her hands and moving to the music. Jimmy smiled at her, she needed some diversion from her hard fight to keep her composure. She needed the joy. The young woman's voice reached to the bottom of his soul and dragged him within, the joy she expressed with her song had him transfixed. When a girl appeared at his side, smiling at him and enticing him to follow her lead, he obliged. Hesitantly he clapped his hand to the rhythm, the girl smiled at him. Her happy face made him smile back and to his astonishment he found himself singing along. And for the first time in a long while, he felt welcome and wanted, not like the shadow of death. Ruining everybody's life when he came along. Lou looked at him and he rejoiced in the happiness on her face too. Pastor Allen was a good man, with a huge smile, Jimmy joined the congregation in their worship.

 

The Pastor lifted both his hands up in the air and started talking while the girls hummed in the back. "We praise the Lord for having let us into his grace."

Annabel sang out her gratitude and Ike threw Kid a surprised glance. It truly was nothing like he had seen or heard before.

"We praise the Lord's words keeping us well and happy!"

"Happyyyy!" Annabel sang out while the girls hummed louder.

"Oh yes," was heard from a member of the congregation. The voice was high-pitched and pitiful. But it encouraged other voices just as pitiful to join in. The effect had Ike and Kid glancing at each other and hiding their smiles, both feeling they ought to stay sober in the situation.

"Save us from the wrath of the Lord!"

"Save u-u-u-s!" Came Annabel's echo.

"Don't let the Lord's wrath fall on us like illness or disease, incapability or ailment, save us all!"

"Sa-a-a-ve u-u-u-s!" Annabel repeated strongly, gliding on the vowels.

Kid and Ike both took a step backwards as the voices seemed to ring around the room, louder and more penetrating with every sentence. The man at the altar was now screaming his message while the girls moved from side to side like in a trance. Several of the attendants followed the wavelike motion of the girls.

"Any of you with ailments or impairments, step up here and let me help the Lord drive the demons away!"  
Ike grabbed on to Kid's arm.

A woman wailed from the middle of the crowd; "Help my son, he can't hear or speak! The demons have taken his soul!"

There was a commotion and a woman stepped up, dragging a young boy of maybe five behind her. "Oh Lord, free my son of the demons! Liberate him from Satan's hold!" The woman fell to her knees in front of the Pastor and pushed her son to stand in front of her. "Save him, oh sweet Lord," she sobbed.

 

Kid turned to watch Ike. His face was white of anger, his jaws pressed tightly together. He was being accused of being possessed. Kid tried to find another explanation to Pastor Allen's words. He had seen the boy in town the day the family moved in. Little Roger had dropped a box from the wagon that his family's belongings were stacked up on. Kid could have sworn the boy heard his mother's scolding loud and clear. When Kid had given the box back to the boy on the wagon he had said; "Thank you, mister." Kid doubted this boy had ever been deaf or mute. In that case the demons must have gotten a hold of his soul yesterday, since it was only two days ago Kid saw him last.

"Ike, I don't think he means..." Kid's voice was drenched in the sound of the roar from the crowd as the boy fell to the floor when Pastor Allen touched his shoulder.

"Mama, I can hear," the little boy exclaimed and his mother took him into her arms, loudly praising the Lord for the miracle.

"Hallelujah! An other demon driven away!" Pastor Allen hollered and Annabel answered with a string of high-pitched tones. "A miracle has occurred in the church of the True Believers in the Holy Spirit," the man bellowed, "let us thank the good Lord for saving this child's soul!"

Save the soul? Ike signed in Kid's direction, the anger clearly rising in him. What does he mean by that?  
"Ike," Kid started but was stopped by a young girl taking a hold of his shirtfront, falling down to her knees she begged him to do the same.

"Give your soul to the Lord," she wailed, tugging at Kid's shirtfront. Kid finally obeyed his gut reaction. Shaking himself loose from the girl's hold, he turned to Ike and swirled him around. Pushing him to run to the exit. Ike threw some obscene signs in the Pastor's direction.   
"Ike, please, let's just get out!" Kid moaned in desperation. Ike would probably draw on the man if he didn't get him out of here.

 

Lou was pressed in between Jimmy and Cody as the crowd pushed onwards to the altar. Her hat was drawn over her face and the arms pinned to her sides. She tried to regain her balance and her dignity but she was helplessly pushed around, like a ragdoll. She was out of air and the situation had began to seem threatening. Her fist contacted with Cody's elbow just as the Pastor urged someone to step up. Lou was completely trapped between Jimmy and Cody. The crowd moved on as the woman emerged from the mass and Lou was suddenly freed. She needed some air. Fighting her way through the herd that kept pushing her back, she was becoming desperate. Lifting her eyes from the ground to search for a safe way out, her glance fell on Kid and Ike in the back. She saw Ike's angered face as the Pastor thanked the Lord for another soul saved. She stiffened to her place realizing the implications in the reverend's words. Ike couldn't talk, he was impaired so to speak, but he most certainly was not obsessed by demons.

"Oh Ike," she whimpered and renewed her struggle to get out. A girl fell to her knees in front of Kid, holding him by the shirt. Lou saw his eyes widen in surprise before he shook himself loose and turned to Ike. Then they both disappeared out of sight.

"Wait!" Lou hollered so loud that a woman in front of her stepped to the side, glancing disapprovingly at her. Lou took a deep breath and pushed on to get away. The wall of worshippers tightened in front of her.

 

 

Panting they ran till they reached the horses in front of the wagon. The high wails still vibrating in the air. The sounds of the congregation's loud worship was leaking out of the building, making the horses' tremble in fear.

My feelings exactly, Ike signed stroking the horse's neck to calm the gelding down. They acted like crazy people in there. I have never seen anything like it.

"It's just different Ike, it's not like the regular church we attend. We shouldn't judge from hearing just one sermon," Kid tried. But undeniably his legs were shaking; the atmosphere inside that crowded building had been scaringly intense.

He called me possessed, Ike protested.

"Now Ike, maybe he didn't mean it like that, maybe it was just a way of talking. I don't think he actually meant to say what it sounded like." Kid hasted to calm his friend down, but deep inside he couldn't deny that the words that had been spoken seemed too harsh to come from a man of the clergy.

Ike watched him with doubt, he couldn't believe Kid would defend the man. Kid noticed the incredulous stare and shrugged.

"I don't know Ike, I really don't know. All these people seem to..."

What do you think Kid?

Kid sank to the ground and leaned up on the wagon. "You're right Ike, the man's no good!"

We better save Cody's soul before it's too late!

"You absolutely sure he's got one?" Kid replied with a faint smile.

Ike whacked him and shook the head at Kid's comment, letting the Kid know he was being a bit too mean. Obnoxious as Cody might be from time to time, he was still family and deserved to be untangled from this mess. Before he lost his head in more ways than one. Ike was sure there was something strange going on here. Better to break Cody's heart instead of losing his soul.

Lou emerged in the doorway, swaying on her feet, wiping her brow. Kid jumped to his feet.


	3. Chapter 3

"Lou?" Kid was already running back to the door when Lou stepped down the stairs. "You okay?"

"Fine Kid," she muttered angrily at having shown him how shaken she had been. That would only fuel his protectiveness and his conviction that she was unable to take care of herself. She'd show him alright; peering angrily in his direction she collected herself. But when he took a hold of her elbow she wanted to lay her head on his shoulder and be wrapped up in his arms. Angrily she shook herself loose.

"Why'd you run out for?" she asked Ike that had appeared behind Kid.

You mean you didn't hear what the man said, Ike signed surprised.

Lou turned her gaze to the ground, feeling ashamed. She had heard it but she just couldn't believe that Pastor Allen had meant it the way it sounded. "Ike, I don't think he meant you!"

Whoever he was talking about it was wrong, I thought you knew that.

Lou's eyes went to Kid to have him help her explain. Kid looked to the ground to avoid her gaze. Lou turned her eyes back to Ike. "Don't go judging a man on appearances only Ike, I thought you knew that!"

Kid looked steadily at her. Stepping up in front of her, he smiled. "I'd take your own advice if I were you Lou," he told her in a soft voice before he turned and walked to the horses. Lou was left searching for words to shut him up. To her dismay she found none. Tucking her hands into her pockets she mumbled a curse to his back. Ike stepped up and laid an arm over her shoulders.

Got you, didn't he? he signed and dragged her to the buckboard.

"Sometimes I really hate him!" Lou wheezed.

I can tell, Ike answered and shook of laughter.

 

If Ike had been able to scream he would have. Lou and Kid were sitting on opposite ends of the buckboard, carefully avoiding to let the other one see when they cast glances at each other. Every time Ike tried to get their attention away by starting a conversation, they answered him in monosyllabic grunts, only to return to a mutual war of feigned noncommittal behavior. Ike was ready to burst by the time the door opened and people started to come out of the church. All three of them jumped to their feet, immensely glad to see the rest walking to join their somber group.

"Where'd you all go?" Cody yelled as he approached them, "it was a good sermon, you should have been there to the end."

"Too crowded," Lou rebutted with a pointed glance at the Kid.

"The end didn't come soon enough," Kid stated while answering the glare.

Ike was ready to kill them both at this time. Let's go home before I do something I will surely regret, he signed, Buck and Noah will be back soon.

"Something happen?" Jimmy asked as he climbed into the wagon. Ike threw an accusatory glance over the shoulder in Kid's and Lou's direction before he threw his hands up in the air. Despair written all over his face.

"I see," Jimmy sighed, "it'll blow over, give'm time."

Ike just rolled his eyes. Jimmy patted his shoulder comfortingly.

Jimmy, who is this man? Ike signed.

"Pastor Allen you mean?"

Ike nodded.

"He's..well..he's the leader of this congregation, that's really all I know." Jimmy had started out enthusiastically but all of a sudden he realized he knew next to nothing about the man. "Why you wanna know?"

He just said some things that didn't seem right to me, Ike signed without explaining further.

"Said something? Ike, I don't get it, what things?" Jimmy urged.

"Jimmy, were you even listening?" Kid asked from the other side of the buckboard.

Lou laughed sarcastically, "I'm sure he listened more than you did," she snorted at him. Remembering to at least act like they still were friends she modulated her voice into an overly sweet one when she added; "you being so far in the back an' all."

"That's right Lou, I forgot that it's the distance that's important. The closer the better, I forgot all about that...Louise! Next time I'll try to get real close to the pastor so I can really enjoy the crap." Kid spoke in the same feigned noncommittal tone of voice. Like they both were discussing when to shoe their horses.

"Shut up!" Cody yelled from his place aside Rachel. "Kid, the pastor is a good man, don't you ever say that his sermons are crap, you didn't even listen!"

Kid turned his face to Cody; "He said Ike was possessed! Cody, that's crap to me, whoever says it!"

Cody watched the Kid over his shoulder. "Kid what are you talking about, he said nothing about Ike. Did you hit your head or something? He performed miracles in there, the boy got his hearing back and the old Wilder-widow said her leg ache got all better."

"That boy was never deaf or mute to begin with," Kid pointed out.

"How can you tell, Kid?" Jimmy asked, annoyed at his friend's accusations. Kid was usually ready to see the good in people, he wondered what Kid saw in pastor Allen that made him ready to so promptly dismiss his work.

Kid turned his eyes to Jimmy and saw the doubt on his face. Not ready to start another debate with Jimmy, he silenced himself, better let sleeping dogs lie instead of getting into another row with Jimmy. Lord knows there had been enough of those during these past weeks. "Just know," he said, diverting his eyes to the plain.

"Oh, Kid always knows everything," Lou stated with a sweet voice covering her irritation, "he's always right, thought you all knew that by now."

He is, Ike signed, feeling he had to step in.

"Don't you start too," Cody spat out, having caught the signs. "I bet my life on pastor Allen's integrity, he takes care of all these young pregnant girls that have been abandoned by everybody else. He needs all the help he can get in his pursuit and I intend to give it to him."

"Yes, well, did you have to give him all the money?" Rachel moaned, "you could have given him your own, taking the money I owed Thompkin's was too much. I'm gonna take the three dollars out of your pay Cody."

"Three dollars, Cody? You gave the man three dollars? Hell, you owe me two since a month!" Kid growled. "When am I gonna see the two dollars back in my pocket where they rightly belong?"

Cody turned to look at the Kid. "Well you ain't got no unwed mothers on your responsibility, do you?" Glancing briefly at Lou Cody continued; "Not yet that is. When that happens I'll give you a dollar for every unwed mother that turns up on the bunkhouse porch."

Kid took a lunge at Cody, Ike had seen what was coming so he had time to throw himself at the Kid, stopping him from knocking Cody off the seat. Lou's widened eyes were glued to Cody's back. Jimmy noticed her lips moving without a sound coming out.

Rachel turned to calm them all down. With a raised hand she warned them to stay put. Looking sternly at each of them in turn. She raised a warning finger as her eyes landed on Kid. He finally settled down and Ike dared loosen his grip on him.  
"I see going to church did you all a world of good," Rachel declared sarcastically before turning back to face the road ahead.

Lou's hand had gripped Jimmy's sleeve hard. Prying her fingers loose, Jimmy followed her stare. Lou was looking at the Kid with a mixture of disbelief and shock. Jimmy realized what she was thinking. He had to explain everything to her as soon as they got back. Kid never "danced" with Samantha, Jimmy knew that much. Lou didn't and Jimmy could tell that the suspicion was killing her. He sighed as he understood that a word, thrown out into the air with intent of hurting one, could destroy everything for another in just one puff of air. Just as effectively as he had destroyed Alice's life by just showing up. Jimmy's head sank down as the image of Alice emerged before his eyes. Forgive me, he said silently to the lady that had left the world, only to have it crumble down on his shoulder.

 

Jimmy sat on the bunkhouse porch awaiting Buck and Noah's arrival. The trip home had been an uncomfortable one. As soon as Rachel stopped the buckboard near the barn everybody leaped down to walk their separate ways. Jimmy had no chance to talk to Lou, she escaped to the barn, barely avoiding crashing into the Kid that had the same goal. They remain staring at each other for a brief moment before Kid turned and walked to the bunkhouse. Jimmy caught up with Lou as Cody walked into the barn. Sighing he walked back out, talking to Lou with Cody listening was out of the question.

Jimmy found it best to place himself on the bunkhouse porch, awaiting the mood to change. Both his and the others'. Alice kept haunting him, he wondered what could have been if things had been different. If Alice had been another, would he have loved her just the same? If he had been another, would he have been able to stay at her side? He had cleaned his guns twice before Ike turned up with the horses. Jimmy rose to help Ike. Taking Katy's reins, he walked to her side to tighten the girth. Lou came strolling around the corner when Kid stepped out of the bunkhouse. Without a word the two acknowledged the others existence and continued their feigned disregard.

"Thanks Ike," Kid said as he walked up to Katy.

Ike watched the three of them, wondering who would get on each others throat and who would side with whom. A dustcloud was forming on the horizon and Ike exhaled in relief, they'd be out of here before all hell broke loose.

"Kid," Jimmy started, wanting to excuse himself, knowing he had acted like a deranged person around the Kid at times. But the fact that Kid and Lou had broke it off disturbed him in a way he couldn't explain. They had each other and just couldn't hang on. Knowing that with Kid it was either black or white, he guessed that had something to do with the break-up. If Alice had been around, he would have hung on for dear life, his friend just let Lou go and that made him angry. And automatically he had sided with Lou and that meant he'd lashed out at the Kid without any real cause at several times this past week. Kid was still his friend and he hated the thought of losing the friendship. He had lost so much already.

"Huh?" Kid asked without looking at him.

"Be careful, there's a Shoshoni war-party out there."

"I know," Kid nodded and reached out a hand to check Katy's girth. "That's why the company is sending two riders Jimmy, If I don't make it, Ike will."

Jimmy threw a glance at Lou standing on the porch. He wasn't sure if Kid said that on purpose or not. Lou had gotten pale.   
"Just see to it you both make it, will you Kid!"

Kid finally looked at him, seeing the sincerity on Jimmy's face he nodded."Sure I will. You just keep things under control back here," he smiled.

Jimmy patted his shoulder, trying to assure him he would. "Sure Kid, I'll do everything in my power but with Cody around..." Jimmy let his voice trail off and shook his head in mock despair.

"I ain't asking for miracles Jimmy," Kid chuckled while he mounted Katy.

"He's just asking you to save the world from the puny ones," Lou bitterly let out from the porch. She wanted to bite her tongue off in the same instance the words left it. She hadn't intended to say that, she just wished she could be as easy around the Kid as Jimmy was. She wanted to be able to josh around with the Kid without being on guard every step of the way. Jimmy and Kid had been at each others throats for a week and then all of a sudden it was like nothing had happened. How did they do it?

Jimmy groaned inwardly as Kid's eyes narrowed. Casting a warning glance in Lou's direction, Jimmy begged her to keep quiet. Her face had become sad all of a sudden and Jimmy realized she had spoken the words without thinking. She probably wanted to say something else all together.

Noah and Buck stormed up close and Kid gathered the reins.   
"Yeah Jimmy, look out for the puny ones," he said before he followed Ike towards the returning riders. Buck threw the poach at Ike with a big grin, yelling at him to take care.

"Ride safe!" Lou hollered from the porch. Kid turned his head and looked at Lou, Jimmy could have sworn he smiled. Then he lifted a hand in a salute and Lou answered with a wave that Kid never saw since Ike picked up speed and forced Kid to follow.

 

Breathlessly Noah flung himself off the horse, handing the reins to Lou's outstretched hand. "What's up?" he said with a grin. "Dinner ready yet?"

"Any problems?" Lou wanted to know.

"Naw," Buck said seating himself on the porch. "Just the usual war-party chasing us back home, I swear they're chasing us just for the fun of it."

"Well I ain't ever stoppin' to find out," Noah grunted flinging himself down at Buck side.

"Neither am I," Buck assured him.

Lou stared at the two for a while before she abruptly turned and dragged the horses to the barn for Cody to take care of. Noah followed her stride with a bewildered face. "What's wrong?" he asked Jimmy.

"Do you have to ask?" Jimmy growled and followed the girl.

"I just love coming home," Noah sighed, "it's always so calm and peaceful around here."

Buck just had to laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

Jimmy spotted Lou brushing down Noah's horse in the dark stall. She was standing with her back to him but by her movements he could tell she was either mad or worried. About what, he had a pretty good idea. Cody was taking the saddle off Buck's horse, whistling loudly as he carried it to the tackroom. The melody sounded somewhat like "Onward Christian Soldier" but then, with Cody one could never know. Jimmy waited till Cody was out of hearing range before he turned to Lou; "We need to talk Lou!"

"'Bout what?" came an irritated query from somewhere inside the stall. The darkness made Jimmy squint his eyes to get a better look at the girl. He was startled when she appeared right in front of his nose. "What Jimmy?" she repeated annoyed.  
Jimmy turned as Cody walked back in, his whistles announcing the arrival.

"Cody!" Jimmy said, "I'll take over, you're freed from your duty."

Cody looked at Jimmy to try to determine from which direction the prank that lay behind his offer would arrive. When he had scrutinized Jimmy's face for a while, he turned to Lou. She was calmly staring back at him, not giving any signs away. "Alright, Jimmy what is this all about? You rigged a trap, where is it and what's involved?"

"No trap Cody, I'm telling you, you're free to do whatever you like with this Sunday afternoon. Just show up tomorrow coz' you and me's gotta clean the barn."

Cody staggered backwards, Jimmy noticed he seemed convinced a sickness had come upon them. "Cody, get going!" Jimmy made a shooing sign with his hand to hurry him along.

Cody swirled around and hastily made his way to the door. Before opening it he turned to look at the two with a sly grin on his face. "Oh I see, you two wanna be alone! Well, I'll gladly oblige, anytime you want some time together, come bribe me!"

A brush came sailing out from the stall, making a perfect arch in the air, it hit the door just as Cody flung himself out.  
Jimmy shook his head and walked over to Buck's horse.   
"Lou, I just wanted to tell you that Kid never did what you think he did with Samantha." He said it casually while rubbing down the horse. He'd get out of there and fast if brushes started flying over the wall.

"Does it seem like I care?"

Jimmy smiled to himself, he wasn't exactly sure the answer he had in mind was safe to pronounce. He decided to take a safer route than the one he had on the tip of his tongue. "Well, I just thought you wanted to know."

Lou appeared outside the stall again. Jimmy was amazed at her ability to pop up unexpectedly.

"Jimmy, it's over, maybe there wasn't ever anything. I don't wanna hear another word about it!"

"Lou, a week ago you cried your eyes out on our way to Willow Creek."

"I changed my mind, that okay with you, Jimmy?"

"Lou, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here." Jimmy told the girl with a soft smile, hoping she would remember she had done the exact same for him yesterday, maybe the fact would placate her and remove him from the immediate danger zone. The angered face softened slightly at his words but she said nothing. She kept looking at him, like she was about to ask him something but couldn't get it out. Jimmy felt he had to help her get started.

"I don't know exactly what happened between the two of you Lou, but if you think he don't ...."

"He happened to the two of us," Lou cut Jimmy off, "he happened and he shouldn't have happened, that's all I can say."

Jimmy had to smile, he knew this feeling of denial all too well. It was so easy to turn your back on a thing and try to forget about it. Sad thing about it was that it rarely worked out that way. In Jimmy's experience it continued to eat at your soul however much you tried to deny it. Until you took a good look at it and at yourself, looking at it from the outside with the eyes of another seemed to get whatever it was more manageable. He wasn't able to yet but he might be able to help Lou. He needed to have Lou open up and spit it all out.   
"Thought you said you'd remain friends?"

Lou disappeared from his view. Leaning out over the wall he saw her sitting sprawled on the ground leaning up against the wall.

"Lou?"

He stepped out of the stall to sit besides her. "You think you'll ever be able to go back to the way you were?" Jimmy asked her softly, afraid she'd lash out at him for prying into her life like that.

"I don't know," Lou sighed. "It seemed so easy at first. Then he fell for that - woman. Then he acts like nothing ever happened between the two of us, like it was nothing. Like I was just another...." Letting her voice trail off, she bit her lip. Jimmy wanted to tell her how wrong she was, before he had the time she turned her face back in his direction; "I mean, you and him fight an' argue a lot and then you go back to bein' best friends, why can't we do the same? Why do I get angry every time I see him? Why does it feel like I'd like to kick him hard in one minute and in the next..."

Jimmy extended an arm to lay over her shoulders. "Lou, Kid and me never loved each other like the two of you do..did I mean," he added as he felt Lou stiffening under his arm. "it's different, very different."

"Why?" Lou sighed and leaned into Jimmy's side, "I don't want it to be different. I want him to be my friend, I want to josh around with him and be able to sit besides him without wanting to cry or be mean to him. Why can't I seem to do that?"

Jimmy leaned back to rest against the wall. When he closed his eyes, he could still see Alice clear as a day. Seeing her made his throat tighten, he had lost her forever. If he only had been there when those men killed Alice, he might have changed everything...if only. Why did it still feel like it was all his fault? That if he hadn't shown up there, everything would have been different? Well they would have, he wouldn't have gotten to know her and felt the way he felt right now. Shaking his head, he made the pictures in his head disappear. With a sigh he opened his eyes to stare out into the semi-darkness of the barn. Lou and the Kid still had a chance, if they only could behave in some kind of rational manner. He had lost that chance and he didn't want anybody else to lose it in that manner. Most of all not his dearest friends.

"I don't know Lou, I really don't. But I know you will get over it, I know it won't hurt this much forever, I promise you."

"I ain't hurting," Lou mumbled into his coat. "It's really over, sometimes I think I hate him."

"I can tell," Jimmy smiled as he rocked the girl in his lap.

 

They found Cody on the porch, preparing beans for the next days dinner. Lou snickered at the sight. "So this is what you like to do on a Sunday afternoon Cody? I'll let you know next time it's my turn."

"You're all against me, " Cody muttered, "why should I be punished for giving three dollars to the collect, Mrs. Wilder gave five. I don't think she's being punished."

"Maybe coz' it was her money to give?" Jimmy tried to explain while a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"But Rachel said she'd be taking it out of my pay, isn't that punishment enough?" Cody pointed out.

Lou shook her head. "By my count Cody, you'll be riding for nothing for a month. You owe Kid two dollars, I won one in the last game of poker. One which I ain't seen yet, I might add and Noah told me you owe him two too. Cody, it's a miracle Rachel lets you eat!"

"See, you're all against me."

"Well Cody, tell you what," Lou began, "I won't be asking for that dollar if you take me to Pastor Allen's. Dressed up like a girl and as your cousin."

"I ain't dressin' up like a girl," Cody said perplexed. "Why on earth would I do a thing like that?"

"Cody," Lou wheezed, "I'll come dressed as a girl and your cousin, try and use your brains once in a while, even though it hurts."

"Why?" Jimmy wanted to know, "why'd you do a thing like that, Lou?"

"Because I'm a girl Jimmy, don't you start on me too!" She glared angrily at him, not believing she had to have this discussion with him too. What was wrong with all these boys?

Cody let his eyes wander between the two standing before him. Lou was getting that demeanor again, the one that told him he really should accept all her suggestions or it'd be hell to pay. "Sure, Lou, I'm going out tomorrow, right after I've cleaned the barn," he added in Jimmy's direction as the rider threw him a warning glance. "You ain't got no ride so why not come along? I don't understand the cousin part thou'?"

"Well I can't rightly come as your fiancée can I, with Lindsay around and all."

"Right, right," Cody agreed, "tomorrow then, cousin Louise, I'd love to introduce you to all my friends."

Lou patted his shoulder and jumped the stairs to get inside the bunkhouse.

"But why Lou?" Jimmy inquired with a bewildered face.

"I have my reasons," Lou smiled at him."I have a lot of reasons," she said as the door closed behind her.

"Is one of the reasons named Kid?" Cody whispered, leaning towards Jimmy.

"The hell I know," Jimmy sighed and sat down at Cody's side.

"Don't use profane language," the suddenly very ecclesiastic Cody begged. "It's a sin, you know."

Jimmy was taken aback, was this the same person that he had been riding with only a week ago that had made him blush with his variations of the word damned when he was thrown off his horse? Might hell really have frozen over?

 

 

"What ya mean Cody, I don't believe in miracles, the man was foolin' you!" Noah laughed at the blond rider's repeated trials to convince them all over dinner of the Pastor's celestial capabilities.

"Noah's right," Buck agreed, "maybe he's just a plain old swindler."

"A what?" Cody was becoming flushed of anger, "he's helping all these young pregnant mothers and you're calling him a swindler. What's a matter with you all? Don't you believe in human kindness anymore?"

"I'm just telling you I won't believe it till I see it." Noah tried to calm him, "I said, I think, I never said I knew for certain what he is or isn't."

"We all saw it! Tell them! Jimmy..Lou?" Cody was eyeing them both with desperation. When neither of them seemed to oblige he turned to Rachel. "You saw him too. Just tell them what you saw."

"Well yes, Mrs. Wilder did say her ache disappeared after the reverend touched her, but that don't prove it was a miracle Cody, but then the boy got his hearing back. I don't rightly know." Rachel pondered.

"Kid said the boy wasn't deaf at all," Lou tried, not entirely willing to believe in pastor Allen's al-mightyness herself.

"Kid," Cody spat out, "he left before the sermon was over, and he don't like the man to begin with. I wouldn't listen to him if I were..."

"Pastor Allen said some things that..." Lou began, just to silence herself as Cody turned to her with eyes flaming of anger.

"All he said was true, the rest you and Kid made up. You're both the same and you truly deserve one another. You're heathens!"

Cody was screaming and they all stared at him with big eyes. They had never seen Cody like this, his behavior was so out of character it stunned them into silence. Nobody dared talk while Cody breathed heavily in anger and then turned to walk out. He slammed the door so hard that Lou had to close her eyes.

Noah glanced around the table to assess the situation. Noticing all just sitting there quietly, he cleared his throat; "Phew, what happened to Cody?"

Buck rolled his finger by his temple, the sign was unmistakable.

Jimmy felt the need to defend, not Cody, but people who stuck to their belief, regardless of what anybody said about them. He had known a very special lady that had abided by rules he thought strange. But she had done it with pride and honor, she had shown him what integrity was all about. Her decisions and her choice of lifestyle needed to be defended. Nobody should trample on the memory of Alice. Nobody had the right. "Cody was right, we shouldn't judge the man without knowing him."

Buck turned to look at Jimmy, surprised at his solemn voice and calm manner. The old Jimmy would have been the first to laugh Cody in the face, now he defended him. "You're right Jimmy, I'll go out there tomorrow and see if I can help out. I want to see this man and his doings, up close."

"We'll all go," Noah stated, "Cody's devotion seems real, I think we outta honor his belief."


	5. Chapter 5

"So this is paradise on earth," Noah chuckled as they rode up to the old farm inhabited by the True Believers in the Spirit. What he saw was a huge barn, ready to drop by the first blow of wind for what it seemed. On a meadow aside the barn there was four raggedy cows and two horses. Noah snickered at the sight of a young girl chasing two pigs over the yard. The main house looked slightly better, it was a large two-store building, the roof seemed to need repairs though. There were five girls working the land right besides the main building, all looking very young and some definitely pregnant. The newest building, the chapel, stood out gaudily, it was painted in a celestial blue and the contrast was remarkable.

"Not yet, but we're working on it," Cody said with a smile as he lifted his hand and waved at a girl coming out of the chapel.

"That's Lindsay," he smiled to the rest of the riders.

"You remember what to do, don't ya?" Lou hissed at him, poking her finger into his ribs. "You owe me!"

Cody shifted away from Lou."Just remember that you won't be able to do things you accustomed to do. Pastor Allen won't have you break in horses, he'll stick you in the kitchen or out on the lot. Don't be taking it out on me later."

Lou suddenly felt foolish, sitting at Cody's side on the buckboard in her fancy outfit. What was she doing? She straightened out her dress nervously, why was she all dressed up like this, trying to impress a man she knew next to nothing about, this wasn't her. Or was it? "I know Cody, I just wanna see what this man is all about, if he is as flawless as you make him out to be."

Cody grinned at her. "You won't be disappointed Lou - I mean Louise, dear cousin."

Pastor Allen had emerged on the Chapel stairs. He was looking at Buck and Noah riding up. Lou almost gasped at the sight of him, he was breathtakingly handsome, he really was. And those eyes of his were mesmerizing. Lou held her breath when he diverted his eyes in her direction and smiled. Without even thinking, she smiled back.

 

Noah felt unwelcome the instance the man's gaze landed on him. He wanted to rein the horse in the opposite direction and gallop away from this place. The man didn't show his disapproval straight out, but Noah could feel it. His eyes wandered to Buck and he saw Buck had reacted in the same way. They were not welcomed. A girl out in the lot had turned and now stared flagrantly in their direction, turning to her friends she said something that made them all straighten their backs and demote both Buck and Noah with their stares. One of the girls made a cross sign over her chest like chasing bad omens away.

Buck cleared his throat; "Well Cody, now that you're here safe and sound, both you and Louise, I think I'll be making my way back home and ..."

"Buck's right, we should be heading off, be expecting you to supper Cody, you've got a ride tomorrow," Noah added, grateful that Buck had picked up the signs too and decided to get himself out of this awkward situation. Noah was more than eager to follow.

Cody stared at them with a wrinkled brow, Lou's widened eyes asked them what this was all about?

Noah felt there was no time to stay and explain, there was something eerie about the man. Noah felt a chill run down his spine as he met the man's ice-cold stare.

"Come on Buck," he pleaded and turned his horse around, Buck wasn't to be begged twice, with a glance at each other they spurred their horses into a fast canter, feeling the need to get out of the place as soon as possible, not even taking the time to say good-bye.

Cody stared baffled at the two storming away. "But..." he started when he felt the Pastor's hand on his shoulder.

"Let the young men go, son, they obviously have better things to do," the man said, "and you should introduce me to this lovely young lady, don't forget your manners, Billy!"

"I'm sorry reverend," Cody said turning to make the introduction. "this is my cousin, Louise Mc..Millan. Her parents died unexpectedly and she's staying with Rachel for a while. Louise, meet Pastor Allen."

Louise had momentarily been caught off guard by Cody's blatant lies, wasn't lying wrong? But when the man turned those eyes in her direction she made a curtsey and took the outstretched hand. Pastor Allen kissed her hand and Louise blushed. Her reaction startled her, who the hell was she becoming?

"I take it she will be staying with you Billy till her beau takes her to the altar?" Pastor Allen smiled at Lou, "A beautiful girl like she is bound to be engaged."

"No beau," Lou cracked, "I'm staying with Rachel till I find..something else." Lou was baffled that lying seemed to be so contagious.

"Well Billy, I'm sure you want to spend some time with Lindsay, she's been awaiting for you to help her do the fences. I'll take care of Louise and show her around."

Cody was already smiling at the girl waiting by the chapel, with a nod he turned to run up to her. Lindsay let out a pearly laugh.

Lou's arms trembled as pastor Allen hooked his arm around hers. With shaking knees she followed the man, she wished Kid could see her now.

 

"Buck!" Noah hollered, "slow down!"

Buck reined his horse to a walk. Glancing over his shoulder he shrugged at the sight of the houses far behind. He'd feel safe only when they were not to be seen anymore.

"So you felt it too?" Noah remarked, "I've never seen such despise in anybody's eyes before."

"I can't understand how Cody and Lou didn't pick up on it?" Buck pondered.

"Maybe coz' the man wasn't lookin' at them like he was lookin' at us?" Noah smirked. "Did you see the girls out in the lot, I could have sworn they wished us to fall down dead. They seemed to think we were some kind of demons."

"Yep, I noticed," Buck nodded, "wonder why?"

"I think I'm gonna have a talk with Cody when he comes back, maybe he knows something that would explain it all?"

"Maybe they never saw a black man or an Indian before?" Buck muttered.

Noah threw him an incredulous glance, "so you mean I outta get accustomed to provoking that kind of reaction in people? Buck please, I'm used to despise and even scorn but that was something else!"

"I'm just sayin' maybe there's an explanation."

Noah laughed, "I'm sure there is, Buck, just as sure as I know I ain't gonna like it."

 

Lou followed the pastor around the property, she did not listen to what he said, she was too occupied with listening to the voice itself. It was hypnotic, the tone of his voice seemed to bring with it some kind of inner peace. The words didn't matter any longer, she sank into a calm while she wandered alongside the man, totally lost in his presence. The voice had her floating on dreams of a better tomorrow, a sanctitude and unconditional love. She didn't feel her feet touch the ground, instead she sailed on a wave of tingling expectation and serenity.

She woke as they stepped into the house and wandered into a room where several young girls were seated. Everybody lifted their faces as they strode in. The smiles were welcoming and accepting. Lou understood Cody perfectly in that instance, there was something here that calmed her rattled nerves and answered her questions. She could live like this, she would love to live like this. Dulled into complete peace of mind.

"Girls, this is Louise McMillan, Billy's cousin. Make her feel welcome, she'll be staying for the day. I have to go help Peters for a while, I'll be back soon."

Lou noticed the total admiration on the girls' faces as they nodded in the Pastor's direction. Smiling at him they all assured him Louise would be taken care of.

Lou sank to a chair, the warmth of the young women's smiles so overwhelming. One of the girls rose and went into the adjoining room only to immediately appear with a glass of lemonade. "You look hot, Louise," the girl smiled in a motherly fashion. "I'm Cynthia and I'm so happy to meet you. All Billy's friends are our friends."

"Thank you Cynthia," Lou cracked and took the glass from the tray. The taste was heavenly, she hadn't noticed how thirsty she was.

"I'm May," another girl told her, "I love your dress, you're so pretty!"

Lou didn't know what to say, the girl seemed sincere and she wasn't used to being complimented. It happened rarely, and Kid never said..... No, forget about him, damn it Lou, he's not here, maybe he never was there for you!

"Louise, what's wrong?" Cynthia asked, laying her hand on Lou's arm.

The tone of her voice made tears spring to Lou's eyes. Without reflecting, Louise told them about her and Kid, she told them absolutely everything. Accompanied by other girls understanding nods and reassurances they had gone through similar things she told them matters she'd never told anybody before. She was about to spill the fact that she was a rider for the Pony Express too, but something held her back. Instead she kept pouring out what Kid had done to her. The girls made her picture him like a demon, somewhere inside she knew what she told the girls wasn't exactly the truth. But they all seemed to want her to say those things, so she obliged, grateful for their unconditional love and understanding. The girls came up close and comforted her, telling her nothing was her fault and that she was safe, she could always return to them if things went wrong.  
Louise smiled at them with tear-filled eyes, she might take them up on that. She knew now she really hated the Kid. And what was there for her to go back to? His harsh words, his disrespect or the callousness? Here she had all these girls, many of them had surely been through what she had been through and they seemed so happy. Maybe this really was paradise on earth?

 

 

"Billy?"

Cody was mending the fences with sweat covering his body, he felt he had never worked this hard his entire life before. He turned as he heard the chaplain call out his name.

"You are amazing Billy, all this work in such a short time. Son, you're the best thing that's happened to this place. I don't know how to thank you!"

Cody smiled at the man, he treated him with respect, not like the riders at the Station. From them one could expect anything. Out here he was appreciated.

"Take a break, son, you will have to be heading home soon. Lindsay's prepared a bath for you, you look like you need it. I won't have you risk your health for a measly fence."

Cody took the towel the reverend was handing him, hell, Teaspoon asked him to risk his health every day. Pastor Allen really cared for him.

"I'm sorry my friends left that soon," he said, still angry at Buck and Noah for bailing out the way they did. He could have used a couple of more hands to help with the fencing. The caretaker, Peters, had not been seen all day.

"Billy, don't worry about that. You know your friends are always welcome. But the fact is that some of these young women were raped by Indians, and they might be scared. I'm not saying it's right but I have a girl here that was raped by Indians on the family's way out west. She was left for dead and woke in a pool of her mother's blood. That makes a person scared, Billy. I know your friend didn't do it and would never think about doing a thing like that but the girl can't know, can she?"

"I didn't know," Cody whispered, appalled by the story.

"I know that, son, but that's what happened, and you see, I have to try and keep these young women feel safe." Pastor Allen's voice grew very sad, "they have all seen so much trouble and pain, I don't want to bring them anymore if I can help it."

"I'll tell them to keep away from here, thank you for telling me." Cody understood Buck and Noah should have to stay out, he didn't want to upset the girls. His friends would understand that.

"Billy, if I ever have a son I wish he'd be exactly like you!"

Cody wished with all his heart Pastor Allen would have been his father, things would have been so different if he was.

Smiling at the man, he followed him to the main house, he'd have a bath before it was time to head home. Home? Was the Sweetwater really home? Nobody seemed to appreciate his work back there as it was appreciated here. Wasn't home a place where you felt loved and wanted? He sighed as he slid into the bath that Lindsay had prepared, the water had a fragrance of pine in it. Maybe it was time to move on from the Pony Express, maybe it was time to find another home?


	6. Chapter 6

Lou sighed heavily as they drove up to the Watstation. Cody threw her a glance; "What's wrong Lou?"

She shook her head with a half a smile; "Guess it's back to reality," she said. "We have a ride tomorrow, not that I'm complaining, I love carrying the poach. Well, sometimes," she grinned in Cody's direction. "It's just that the life they're leading seems so different."

"So peaceful and true," Cody interjected, glad someone in his family understood what pastor Allen was all about. The fact that he and Lou had to ride out tomorrow, maybe fighting the Shoshonis and be on a continuing watch for their lives did suddenly not appeal to him at all. He'd rather be with the True Believers, helping them, helping Lindsay. "I've been thinking Lou, maybe this riding isn't for me after all, maybe I've found my calling...."

"Cody?" Surprised at her friend's serious voice, she turned to look at him again.

Cody stopped the buckboard and jumped down.  
"I've just been thinkin' Lou, that's all," he said and walked to unhitch the horses.

"Supper!" Jimmy hollered from the bunkhouse. Lou sat in silence, contemplating Cody's words. Maybe he was right, maybe riding wasn't the only thing she could do? There was so much else out there. And Kid wasn't out there, he was right here. She blushed as she thought about what she had been saying about him. How come she had lied in that manner? She hadn't been raped by him, but in the moment the girls around her urged her to talk she had somehow confused him and that man from her past. Making then turn into one person, she laid the blame on Kid, but she knew full well that it wasn't even close to the truth. What she didn't understand was why she was able to badmouth Kid and not the one that had really hurt her? His name was buried so deep inside, she was afraid to speak it out loud. But the girls around her, telling her their stories had brought him closer, menacingly close.

"You comin'?" Cody face appeared in her view

"Sure," Lou sighed, how was she going to face Kid tomorrow when they swopped the poach?

 

 

Lou sat on the porch holding Lightning's reins, giving the horse pieces of the stale bread she'd found in the cupboard. They were late, it was only a couple of hours left before sundown and Lou hated the thought of having to ride out only to make camp a few hours later. Cody stood at her side, shielding his eyes, trying to spot the two riders. Dark clouds were hovering at the horizon, it looked like it was about to rain.

"I can't see nothing!" he growled.

"You can't see anything," Lou corrected him. "You keep sayin' that, you staring won't bring them here any sooner."

"If I would've known they were gonna be this late, I'd made a visit to Lindsay. Sitting here on this old porch getting your backside numb ain't what I call productive."

Lou rolled her eyes. The door to the bunkhouse opened and Rachel stepped out. "No sight of them yet?"

"Nope." Lou and Cody answered in unison.

Rachel squinted her eyes and looked around. Cody was keeping diligent watch to the southeast so Rachel turned her eyes in the Sweetwater direction. She thought she saw two riders coming, but they were coming in a very slow pace. Slow enough not to even stir up dust. "That might be them," she said.

Cody diverted his stare and Lou jumped up to stand on the porch. Both directing their attention to the direction in which Rachel was pointing.

"They're letting their horses walk?" Cody asked incredulously, "don't they know they're late already?"

"Maybe one of them is hurt?" Rachel said casually. Lou's look on her made her add; "or one of the horses is."

"He's doin' this on purpose," Lou wheezed.

"Huh?" Cody didn't know who she was talking about.

"Nothing," Lou muttered, moving to ride up to the two of them, yank the poach from them and ride on.

"Hold on Lou," Rachel warned as she was about to mount Lightning, "they've picked up speed. Wait until we know what this is all about."

Lou ducked under Lightning's neck to see for herself. Yep, they came racing towards the bunkhouse. Damn you, she thought as the riders came fully into sight. You knew we wanted to head out as soon as possible, you know I hate riding out in the night when it's chilly and cold. You waited until it was about to start raining. Thank you Kid, it's just what I need right now.

She watched as they rode up, they didn't keep the poach in sight as they galloped towards them, Kid waving his arm in a greeting.

"Take your boots off!" he hollered with a grin.

"What's going on?" Rachel shouted at the two.

Kid slid down from Katy as she stopped; "The company's restricted the post to important stuff only. Only mail today was for the Marshal, we rode to Sweetwater to give it to Teaspoon since there was nothing else. There's no riding out from Sweetwater today, somebody will come along when it's time."

"Nothing?" Cody asked, this was something new.

"No," Kid affirmed, "the company knows this route ain't safe so they've rerouted some of the mail. They're working on a solution on the Shoshoni issue."

"You sure took your time," Lou grumped.

"Huh?" Kid asked, wrinkling his brow.

"I got better things to do than sit around waitin' for you for nothin'," she hissed at him, "gimme that horse!" With a swift move she took the reins out of his hand and started for the barn with Katy and Lightning following.

Kid was left standing with an open mouth.

Ike walked up alongside of him. What now? he signed.

"If I would have known I wouldn't have waited around here," Cody said as he jumped onto his horse. "I'll be back for supper, maybe." He took off in a speed that had Kid and Ike step backwards to avoid being run over.

"Where you goin'?" Kid hollered.

"Where do you think?" Rachel sighed, "he and Lou spent all day yesterday at pastor Allen's, seems to attract them like moths to the light."

"She went there?" Kid had turned to Rachel and was scrutinizing her with narrowed eyes.

"Yep," Rachel confirmed. "Came home real late, Lou barely had time to change clothes before supper. Said she'd had a splendid time."

"She what?" Kid seemed to be about to burst in the seams. "She went there dressed like a girl?"

Well she is a girl, Ike signed in Kid's direction.

"Gimme that horse!" Kid yanked the reins from Ike's hand and started for the barn. Ike and Rachel exchanged a long look. Judging from Kid's demeanor there would be some discussing in the barn. Rachel was glad Noah was in there, maybe he'd be able to stop the bloodshed.

"Come on Ike, I'll get you a towel so you can clean up before dinner. Tell you what thou', I might go visit the pastor myself tomorrow, I really need a break from all this."

Ike gave the housekeeper a warm hug, didn't they all?

 

 

Jimmy was sitting at the Blue Creek Station, watching the clouds form. If the rider didn't come soon, he'd be forced to make his way to Sweetwater in drizzling rain. There was no sign of the rider yet. Sighing he went in to talk to the stationmanager.  
"Nothing?" the older man inquired, looking up as Jimmy's heavy steps approached.

"Not even a tail," Jimmy sighed and flung himself on the chair opposite the desk, "seems like it's gonna rain too."

The stationmanager smiled at the hot-tempered young man, he'd be madder than a hornet's nest if rain started before he was home. He'd been in a rotten mood lately. He hoped young Hickok wouldn't exhibit his temper around here. Opening a package he leaned back on his chair, the address scribbled on the package had been illegible. Over the old address some one had decisively written "Blue Creek, Pony Express." Reaching in with his hand he freed a bunt of official papers. They were wanted posters, glancing at them the stationmanager sighed. They were issued in another state, in Minnesota. And by the look of the package they had arrived in it was a long time ago. "Damned," he spat out.

"Huh?" Young Hickok's eyes peered over the edge of the paper's he was holding up, not even bothering to read them. They had been sent to the wrong side of the country. "Wrong address," he sighed letting the documents fall, "have to send them back, to where, I have no clue."

Jimmy took one op the posters, not totally secure of his reading abilities yet, he looked at the picture instead. The man seemed oddly familiar. He had a long beard and dark hair. The drawing wasn't all too clear, but something about the man seemed familiar.

"Rider comin'!"

The holler from outside had Jimmy up on his feet in no time. He shoved the paper into his pocket while he ran to get to his horse. Maybe, if he rode real fast he'd beat the rain? He jumped onto Sundancer from the porch, the horse felt strong as it reacted by taking a fast stride forward, loving the idea of running with the wind. Jimmy snapped the poach from the oncoming rider and leaned forward. "Home!" he told the horse. Feeling the Sundancer's hindlegs dig into the dirt under and push forward in a mighty way winning stride, Jimmy smiled, they'd be home in no time.

 

 

Lou muttered all the way to the barn. Not minding Noah, she stepped over his feet demonstratively as he stood right in her way. He was forced to step into a stall when the horses brushed by him.

"Lou?" he asked when the girl stalked into Katy's stall and left the horse without tying her up. Angrily she pushed the horse back inside as Katy got the sink with oat in sight and tried to get to it. Katy looked with the calm eyes of a horse at the frenzied girl in front of her. Noah could have sworn she was surprised. Surprised but not rattled. Noah shook his head at his own thoughts, he was beginning to think about Katy as a human being, much like the Kid seemed to do. Without a word Noah leaned the hay-fork against the wall and walked up to Katy, freeing her from the saddle. "Good girl," he patted the horse when she turned to look at him. Then Noah heard the barndoor open again and he understood her master was coming in, and by the sound of his steps, he was just as mad as Lou.

Kid emerged in the door, letting go of Ike's horse's reins, he walked up to Lightning's stall.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Lou?"

Noah flinched at the harshness in his voice.

"Exactly what I wanna do Kid, so just shut up!" Lou hissed back. Her lap full of Lightning's saddle and bridle she stared defiantly at the man in front of her. "Get outta my way," she wheezed as Kid blocked her way and wouldn't let her out of the stall.

"Do you have any idea about what kind of trouble this..." Kid started, his voice irritated and tense.

"Do you have any idea how out of line you are right now? What I do is none of your business." Lou cut him off in a voice that seemed to teeter onto teary hysteria.

"When people go out of their way to get hurt, I make it my business, Lou!" Kid had stepped right up to her. With a growl she let the saddle and bridle fall onto Kid's feet before she pushed herself past him.

Kid jumped to the side and blocked her way again. "You've hidden yourself all this time just to reveal everything to a swindler like him? I don't get it Lou, what's..."

"You never did get anything Kid, you never got anything at all!" By now she was hollering. Kid stood calmly where he had placed himself, looking defiantly at her.

Noah wondered if he ought to intervene but Kid seemed to have calmed down, maybe Lou would too? To his surprise Kid's calmness evaporated at Lou's harsh words.

"Oh, I never got anything, didn't seem that way to me, I thought I got plenty!" As the words slipped out of Kid, Noah closed his eyes, knowing exactly what Kid was referring to, he felt ashamed for his friend. Noah felt he needed to get out, this was far too private for him to witness. Ike's horse was walking to the sink filled with oat, but startled by the raised voices it lifted its head and started moving uneasily about. Noah had to get to the horse and calm it down before somebody got kicked.

Lou let out a hysterical laugh, "And never have I been more disappointed, at least pastor Allen is a man, a real man, not just an insecure little boy with ..."

"What?" Kid's voice exploded, making the horse rise on its hindlegs, trying to turn to get out of the barn. Noah threw himself to get to the flopping reins and get the horse into a stall. He wanted to yell at the two to shut up but he feared it would scare the horse even more.

"You heard me, you're useless and I pity the poor woman's that's gonna marry you, you ..you...useless piece.. "

"Well if any man eventually marries you he'll starve to death..." Kid hollered to Lou's face.

Lou turned to triumphant eyes up to Kid's, with a scorning smile she whispered; "No Kid, that man will be loved in a way you'll never be." Her voice was vibrating of deep emotional pain. Her eyes where shining with tears as she spoke but her stance was proud and unforgiving.

Noah noticed that all the air was pushed out of Kid. Lou turned to make her way out of the barn. Kid reached to touch her shoulder. "Lou," he said in a calm voice.

"Take your hands off me!" Lou squealed, back in the rage that made both Noah and the horse flinch at her high-pitched voice.

Turning her back to Kid, she started to walk away. Kid stepped up closer, trying to stop her.

"Lou," Kid repeated in a soothing voice, "I ..."

Lou felt the hand on her shoulder. She felt cornered, unable to get out. What he had said made her want to throw up and now he was stopping her from getting out! She had been in this situation before and it had ended bad. She would never let it happen to her again, she'd rather die. Her rage mixed with a blinding fear and her body reacted by itself, with all the strength she could muster, she elbowed the man behind her in the stomach. She struck with the force of a trapped and haunted human being, seeing one sole way out of the fear, she was desperate to rescue herself from the impending danger.

When Kid staggered backwards and fell onto the hay with a groan, she turned around. Staring at the man sprawled in the hay, she felt tears spring to her eyes, both from the pain in her elbow and from what she just had done. He stared back at her, audibly fighting for air. He looked at her like he'd never seen her before. The expression on his face a mixture of both physical and emotional pain. Then he coughed and rolled to his side. Lou started to shake, with a sob she ran out of the barn, she ran blindly, from whom or what or where, she had not idea. She just needed to get out.


	7. Chapter 7

Ike was wiping his face when he witnessed Lou come storming out of the barn. She tripped on her own feet and crawled before she got back up and ran flat out. She didn't seem to have a goal, she ran like demons were chasing her. Ike let the towel go and started running to cross her path. He clutched her into his arms while she struggled against his hold, screaming like in pain. Ike held her in his arms, trying to calm her down when Rachel emerged in the bunkhouse door and with only one glance she ran to the two struggling on the yard. Lou hit Ike with force while sobbing.

Rachel came up to their side. Calling out Lou's name repeatedly she tried to break through the fear that was haunting the girl. "Louise, Louise, sweetheart, everything is fine." Ike held on, still feeling Lou's violent struggle to get free. He managed to get her down to the ground, sitting in his lap. Clinching her arms he hoped she'd stop hitting him before she'd make him black out.

Rachel knelt besides them and stroke Lou's hair. "Louise, honey, you're safe, you're here, what's going on?" She looked at Ike to try and understand what was happening. He nodded in the direction of the barn, grateful to feel Lou calm down in his hold. Rachel turned her eyes to the barn and saw Noah standing in the doorway. Seeing his concerned face, she wondered what had happened in there. But there was no time to wonder about that right now, she needed to calm Lou down. Turning back to Lou, she saw she had regained her composure. Drying her tears with the heel of her hands, she freed herself from Ike's hold.

"What happened Lou?" Rachel asked, and not really wanting to know she asked if what she feared had happened; "Did Kid hurt you?"

"Oh Rachel, I did something awful..." Lou's voice broke and she leaned into Ike's lap again and sobbed her desperation. Ike rocked her in his lap, giving Rachel a sign to check the barn.

 

 

Noah was left staring at the two, the girl vanished out the barndoor and Kid lying down and finally finding his breath. Noah ran to the door only to see Ike catch Lou and hold her in his arms while she screamed and fought him. Rachel came running and Ike and Lou sank to the ground. He heard Rachel talk to Lou and then turn to look at him. Noah didn't know what to do, when Kid groaned in pain he turned to him.

"You alright?" He asked the wincing Kid.

"Fine, " Kid let out with a grimace, "what the hell did I do wrong this time?"

"Well you both said a couple of things that wasn't exactly nice, so to say."

"Oh God, Noah," Kid whined, "I wish I could..." He was interrupted by Rachel storming into the barn. "What's going on here?"

Rachel let her eyes wander from Noah to Kid, not knowing what to expect.

"She hit him!" Noah informed her, now having a hard time hiding a smile as Kid fought to get up. The girl was feisty alright, he hoped he would never find himself on the receiving end. To see such a small figure deck the Kid so completely was totally unexpected. It must have hurt Kid's pride just as much as it seemed to hurt his ribs.

"Fine, go spread the word." Kid muttered while he rose to his feet. "Let Cody know all about this and I'll have to move to another state."

"What you do to her?" Rachel urged, taking a hold of Kid's coat, tugging at it slightly to make him respond.

"I yelled at her," Kid confessed with downcast eyes.

"They both yelled," Noah explained, "they told each other a couple of..." Kid's warning glance silenced him.

Rachel got mad at the Kid. "Don't you ever do that to her again, you hear me? Because if you do so help me God, I'll hurt you!" With a growl she let Kid go and turned to get to Lou.

Kid let his eyes follow Rachel out, then his lips became a thin line and he turned to take care of Katy.

"Kid!" Noah reached out for him but Kid shook his arms off. "Leave me alone," he said. "I'll take care of the horses, everybody just leave me the hell alone!"

Noah felt it was safer to do just that. Backing out of the barn, he bumped into Buck carrying logs in his lap. "What's going on? Buck asked quietly.

"Don't ask," Noah advised him.

 

 

Darkness fell as Jimmy rode in. Surprised to find Buck and Ike sitting on the porch with their eyes longingly following Noah's fast pace out from the yard. Breathless from the ride Jimmy slid off his horse. A lantern was burning outside and he could tell by Ike and Buck's faces that something was up. He awaited for them to tell but they just sat there, immersed in thoughts, barely greeting him. Cody showed up from inside the bunkhouse and took Sundancer.

"Ain't you and Lou supposed to be on a ride?" Jimmy asked as Cody took the reins and started walking to the barn.

"I wish," came Cody's laconic answer.

Jimmy seated himself at Buck's side. "So what happened now?"

War, Ike signed and stared out over the yard, clearly wishing to be someplace else, and blind devotion.

"Let me guess," Jimmy groaned, "Lou an' Kid's at it again."

"Worse than usual," Buck confirmed. "Lou whacked the Kid, but don't tell Cody, Kid asked Noah not to."

"Kid asked Noah not to what?" A bewildered Jimmy had to ask, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had the pair resorted to physical violence, wasn't the harsh words enough?

That Lou whacked him so hard he landed in the hay, Ike signed, it's getting out of hand.

"Are they okay?"

Buck raised his eyes to watch Jimmy pointedly. "Does it sound like they're okay?" He smirked bitterly.

"I mean, there's no broken bones involved, I hope?" Jimmy explained himself. "And what's with him?" He made a sign in Ike's direction, "he looks like he's been whacked on the head himself."

"We've been anesthetized by Cody, we just went through a sermon longer than a weeks ride." Buck sighed.

Praise pastor Allen, amen. Ike signed tiredly.

Buck hid a smile and swatted Ike on the arm to stop him. "Ike!"

"Where is everybody?" Jimmy asked seeing as he wouldn't get their private jokes anyhow.

"Kid's in the barn refusing to talk and Rachel took Lou into the house to try and calm her down, that's all I know. Now I'm just waiting for supper." Buck said while he stopped Ike from signing something profane.

Ike leaned up against the post. Just waiting for heaven on earth, he signed in an absentminded manner. Buck fought the will to laugh.

Jimmy shook his head at his friends' antics, they were sitting here like waiting for a miracle to happen. Jimmy would see to it that it did. Decisively he rose and steered his steps to the barn, he'd talk some sense into the Kid. If that didn't work he'd do something else to him. The war would end right this minute. Maybe he'd have to install some devotion into the Kid?

Jimmy could hear Cody's voice rambling about the True Believers and their heavenly father figure. But he also heard angry grunts, he deduced they came from the Kid. Cody tried to sell the concept to the Kid and had obviously found the worst buyer ever. As Jimmy stepped in, he could see Cody following Kid who was carrying Sundancer's saddle. Cody was right on his heels, painting out the heaven on earth that pastor Allen could provide if you were ready to receive.

"And not black or red or impaired I assume," Kid muttered and shoved the saddle rather hard onto the wooden holder.

"Kid, he told me I could stay as long as I liked, no questions asked and no strings attached."

"No strings attached?" Kid laughed scornfully. "That's a good one Cody, he has you so tied already you can't breathe on your own!"

"That's not true Kid, and you know it. Look at all these girls he's helping, he ain't asking for nothing from them, he provides for them thanks to the good people's kind hearts and the collect. He..."

"Did you ever stop to think where all these young girls come from, where are their families, why are they abandoned like that? Are they even abandoned?"

"What do you mean by that Kid?" Cody seemed to have been temporarily stopped his steaming trial to convert the Kid. He looked at the Kid like he didn't believe his stupidity; "You abandoned Lou after you got your way with her, how come YOU ask why they're abandoned?"

Jimmy held his breath as Cody didn't even seem to understand the danger he was in. Kid took a step up to Cody, "Excuse me?" he asked in a very low rumbling voice. "What are you implying Cody?"

Jimmy ran to place himself between the two. Kid tried to push past him but Jimmy extended a hand to stop him. "Cody, Rachel's asking for you, Kid and me'll see to the horses." Cody opened his mouth again and Jimmy knew there'd be some serious injuries if he didn't get Cody out, Kid was about to blast. "Now, scoot!"

Kid growled and Jimmy grabbed his coat and pushed him back.

Reluctantly Cody turned to walk away, Jimmy had to use a lot of muscle power to restrain the Kid. Kid stared at the door that had been closed behind Cody, his jaw tightened whilst fighting to get his composure back. Jimmy could tell it wasn't easy for the Kid. Jimmy knew he wanted to make Cody pay, and not just the two dollars he owed him but the pain he had caused with his accusations.

"Kid," Jimmy warned, not yet ready to let go of him, "simmer down, will ya!"

"Is that what you all think? That I used her and then just..." Kid couldn't finish the sentence and Jimmy sensed renewed anger emanate from him.

"No Kid, that's not..."

"So this is how the story got twisted, I wanted to marry her, she wouldn't!" Kid's voice had been raised to a higher pitch as he talked to the closed door. "We just couldn't go on like that, it wasn't safe! I couldn't risk that!"

Jimmy tightened his fists around Kid's coat. "She wasn't ready Kid, why couldn't the two of you just go on like..."

"Do you know what is said about women that become pregnant without being married, Jimmy? Do you really know? And it never washes off Jimmy, the reputation proceeds them and they'll be scorned where ever they go. I know, my Ma wasn't married when she got Jed, I've heard people talk, they're being ridiculed and laughed upon and there's nothing they can do about it. I love her and I..." Kid paused and turned his gaze to the packed dirt under his feet, visibly surprised over what he'd just said, like he was revealing some secret. Jimmy smiled sadly at him, it was so obvious, it surely didn't some as a surprise to him.

Kid relaxed in his hold. "Never mind Jimmy, it's over, just leave me alone. I got work to do."

Jimmy didn't let go of him, even though all the anger had vanished. Jimmy finally understood the Kid's decision. He might not have taken the same decision, but knowing the Kid, he understood him. He finally dared to slightly loosen his grip on the Kid.   
"I'm sorry Kid," he said, "I didn't know."

"Well," Kid stated quietly while still looking to the ground, "I'll get over it, someday."

The barndoor opened and Jimmy turned to see who was coming in, he hoped with all his heart it wasn't Cody, he truly feared his mouth at times.

A small frame emerged; "Kid, Jimmy? Rachel says supper's ready." Lou's voice sounded frail and scared. She looked at the two, Jimmy was holding on to Kid's coat and she wondered what was going on. "You better come in," she added and looked to the ground. She wouldn't risk meeting with the Kid's eyes.

Jimmy felt Kid stiffen in his hold and take a step back. Jimmy followed growling; "Isn't there something you need to say Kid?"

"Need to tend to your horse," Kid spat out. "Let go of me!"

Jimmy felt his own anger rise, he couldn't believe his bullheaded friend. With a grunt he pushed the Kid back and turned to jerk himself a blanket. He walked up to Sundancer that was contentedly nibbling at the hay. He rolled the blanket over the horse and walked out of the stall. Kid remain where Jimmy had left him, looking wide-eyed at him. "Now Kid, the horse's tended to, ain't there something else you need to do?"

Kid said nothing, but his eyes darted momentarily over to Lou. Then he raised his head defiantly, warning Jimmy not to even breathe about what had been talked about earlier. Jimmy knew he wouldn't say it. How come Kid wouldn't say the words that would end this ridiculous war. What would it cost him to tell Lou he was sorry and that he still loved her? It surely wouldn't kill him. Jimmy grabbed Kid's collar again, shaking him slightly to squeeze the words out of him.

"Are you comin' or do you intend to kiss each other?" Lou wondered from her place at the door.

Jimmy turned like stung by a pack of hornets. She was just as bad as her former beau he deducted while Kid let out an involuntary snort of laughter. That was all it took for Jimmy to boil over. "Start walking!" he barked at the Kid, shoving him onwards with his grip on the collar still intact. Dragging the stumbling Kid out he stopped besides Lou. "One of these days I'm gonna tie the two of you together, face to face and leave you in the barn."

Kid muttered in his hold."Oh you just shut up, you boneheaded fool!" Jimmy told him in a voice that let Kid know that if he valued his life, he ought to stay quiet.

Lou opened her mouth to say something. Jimmy intervened venomously: "Oh don't you worry, I'll leave the kissing part to you, coz' you're just as bad as he is. And with God as my witness, you two deserve each other!" He wheezed the last sentence to Lou's scared face before he tore at the Kid's collar and forced him out of the barn. Kid had no other choice than to follow the tight grip.

 

Lou was left in the barn, she didn't know if she was to get angry or what? Kid and Jimmy were back at each others throats and somehow she sensed it was all her fault. Rachel was mad at the Kid, Kid was mad at her. Jimmy too for what it seemed. She should really be leaving, there was no place for her here any longer. Looking around the barn, she felt a sadness rush over her. Everything she did ended up in her hurting someone in the family. Somebody she loved. She had never intended all this to happen. The anger and resentment spread like a prairie fire and it was growing out of control. Deep inside she felt like she had started it.

And now it was time to end it.


	8. Chapter 8

All through supper Rachel held both Kid and Lou under supervision. The way the two of them had been acting, she almost expected plates to start flying. And that would be a novel sight, the two of them were usually the calmest, the one's one could trust to behave. Not so any longer. Rachel knew she needed to have a talk with Kid, she had come down on him hard and now he seemed to avoid her. She hadn't been exactly fair, she knew that but she had no way of knowing what had happened until Lou had told her. Not that Lou had told her a lot. Rachel never learned why her reaction had been so strong, explosive, in its nature.

Kid had placed himself at the far end of the table, looking like he wanted to take his plate and eat in the barn. He never lifted his eyes from the cup he was holding. Rachel laid a hand on his shoulder when she filled it up. She felt Kid's react with a slight recoil. Rachel noticed Lou's glance in their direction, she looked like she wanted to say something. But Cody had taken the stand tonight, he was blabbering about the good pastor again. Rachel wondered if he knew that nobody was really listening.

Jimmy let his eyes dart between Lou and the Kid, like he was severely annoyed with the two of them and their current behavior. Ike looked like he was feeling sick and Rachel could tell Buck was trying to prevent another explosion by diverting Ike's attention from Cody's relentless appreciation of the godly pastor. Rachel threw a glance at the empty chair at the end of the table. Teaspoon should have been there, he would have been able to calm the waters. Now that he was gone to take the prisoner to Ft. Laramie Rachel felt her patience diminish by the minute. With Cody's cackle in her ears, she sat down to finish her meal, her eyes never leaving the riders around the table. She wondered if it was safe to leave them alone in the bunkhouse?

Ike's glares in Cody's direction promised no good. Jimmy had the demeanor of a man that had unfinished business to attend to, Rachel guessed that one sat right at his side, looking like he wanted to run, while the other was seated on the opposite flank, barely touching her dinner. She'd have to rely on Buck. She searched his eyes and smiled, Buck looked at her with desperation. Telling her loud and clear that if Cody didn't shut up soon, he'd have no way to stop whatever happened, that he in fact might start it himself. With a glance at Lou and her finger rolling the half-eaten sandwich around on her plate, Rachel rose and took Cody by his arm. Cody stopped in mid-sentence and looked puzzled at her.

"I need your help Cody!" Rachel demanded and forced him to his feet.

"Aw Rachel, I'm in the middle of supper here," Cody protested, "can't it wait?"

"Cody, if you'd talk less and eat more you would have been finished ages ago."

"This ain't fair," Cody tried again.

"Life never is," Rachel stated with a feigned calm while she dragged him out. Before she closed the door behind them she turned to the riders around the table; "for what I just did you'll all have to pitch in and clean the table."

"I love you Rachel," Jimmy exclaimed with a grin, "you just saved a couple of lives!"

"You're all heathens!" they heard from outside the bunkhouse as it dawned on Cody what Jimmy was referring to."You'll regret this!"

When hell freezes over, Ike signed to the door.

 

They still laughed when they started to clean the table. Jimmy chuckled with merriment while he poured the steaming water into the basin. Good old Ike to lift their moods! Well some of their moods. He glanced at Lou gathering the dishes from the table and carrying them to him. Some of them weren't so easily distracted. Turning his eyes to the other part of the room, he let his glance rest on Kid going for the broom. Some of them were apparently totally unaffected. Jimmy sighed and rolled his sleeves up; if Kid started sweeping the floor he'd eventually have to come to this side of the room. Jimmy decided to take it slow and force the Kid and Lou to meet. If not face to face, at least broom to towel.

Meticulously he cleaned the glasses, holding each one up to the light to check that they were really clean. Lou glanced angrily at him. Buck laughed at Ike's jokes on the porch, shaking the table cloth, Ike performed some kind of dance that had Buck snickering. Jimmy threw a glance at Kid. Kid glared back, just as meticulous in his sweeping as Jimmy was in his cleaning. Ike and Buck scrambled inside, Buck took a duster and cleaned the table before Ike folded the tablecloth and placed it in its usual place. Jimmy noticed Kid still sweeping the furthest corner.

Ike and Buck stopped and glanced around the room, noticing something was up. Jimmy smiled as he extended the glass to Lou in a very slow manner. Buck smiled and poked Ike in the ribs; "Let's go check the horses." Ike winked at Jimmy before he turned and followed Buck out.

"Is this gonna take all night?" Lou wheezed and jerked the glass out of Jimmy's hand.

"Just wanna be thorough," Jimmy smiled at the girl, "washing dishes is really an art in itself."

Lou growled. "Step away and I'll show you how it's done."

"Now Lou, don't go rushing things, you know haste makes waste, don't you?"

Both Kid and Lou cast daggers in Jimmy's direction.

Kid hadn't approached them with more than two inches. "Don't wear the floor out Kid," Jimmy spoke lightly. "There's a lot of crumbles over here, why don't you come sweep them away?"

Lou was getting it, she hissed something to him and started to move away, Jimmy handed her the pitcher. "Here you go Lou, this one needs a good drying off."

"I know what you're doin' Jimmy, it won't work!"

"Doin'?" Jimmy pretended in Kid's direction. Kid had stopped sweeping and was looking wearily at Jimmy.

"I'm doin' the dishes," Jimmy explained, "got a problem with that?"

"Just the way you're doin' them," Lou snarled and pushed him out of her way, "just take the towel and shut up!"

Jimmy smiled as Kid started to sweep the floor again, at least they were finally agreeing on something. Lou slammed a plate into his hand, her eyes told him he might be totally wrong. Kid wheezed at him to step out of the way as he swop the broom over Jimmy's feet, just to take a deliberate course around Lou.

With a sigh Jimmy realized he probably was wrong.

 

 

Lou lay in her bunk, staring right into the darkness. She couldn't sleep even though she felt the weariness in her whole body. But everything felt so wrong all of a sudden. What had she gotten herself into? Why hadn't she seen this coming? She tried to lie still and avoid tossing and turning, she wanted to cry of both anger and sadness. Cody's snores underlined the grimness of her situation. Knowing she had started most of what had led up to here, she cringed at the thought, wishing to be able to turn back time and do everything different. Her eyes watered at the realizations that it would never happen. She could never go back and she was no closer to getting her own place and taking care of her sister and brother either. Everything seemed so futile in the darkness. Maybe if she talked to pastor Allen she could help out with the girls and send for Jeremiah and Theresa. Maybe she could find a place for them all at the True Believers. There was certainly no place for her here. She loved the boys, well most of the times, but the way things had turned out, she felt there was no place for her in the bunkhouse. She felt Kid move in the bunk under hers and she clinched her teeth. Things wouldn't get any better, certainly not as long as he was around to remind her of her mistakes. One day Kid would find a new girl and she was not sure how she would react, she never thought she'd be so hurt when she found out about Samantha. It was over and she should rejoice in him finding happiness. So why didn't she? She pictured Kid walking up the aisle with a bride at his side and she wanted to scream. Then she repeated the words he had said to her. A tear rolled down her cheek, she had reached her decision.

 

"Rider comin!" Somebody was shouting in her ear. Lou muttered angrily, still half a sleep, and tried to push the rider leaning in over her away. Then she realized she must have fallen asleep after breakfast and her turn was up. Jimmy grinned at her.

"Damn!" Lou muttered and swung her legs over the bunk.

"Don't worry, Kid prepared Lightning already, Noah's still far away!"

"Why didn't you wake me, Jimmy?" Lou growled, rubbing her eyes.

"Kid told me to let you sleep, he said you hadn't gotten much sleep last night."

"Is he spying on me?"

"Looking out for you is more like it. Lou, don't go wrenching his neck again."

"Right," Lou muttered and reached for her bedroll and gear, she had packed everything she needed, the letter was written everything was dealt with. She was ready.

Jimmy looked confused as she gathered her belongings, he must be puzzled to find her bringing all this along. The trip to Blue Creek wasn't but one day, taking everything you owned along wasn't normal. Thankfully enough he said nothing.

Rushing out the door, she almost stumbled in her hurry. Kid was standing holding Lightning's reins. Lou groaned inwardly at the sight.

"I can take this ride for you," he said.

Without a word she stepped up to her horse and fastened her gear. Kid watched her puzzled, but said nothing at the amount of packing she had. Lou was almost disappointed, she had made up such good lies. Lou checked the cinch and mounted. Kid still wouldn't let go of the reins. He looked at her like he was waiting for her to say something. This made Lou wonder if he had read her mind? Kid was watching her, making her quiver. He would find out soon enough, but a part of her wanted to confess. At least she wanted to tell him how sorry she was for yesterday. But she couldn't trust her own voice right now. She concentrated on keeping a stern face while waiting for Noah to ride up close enough to enable her to escape.

 

When Noah thundered into the yard Lou looked around the yard once more. Her eyes landed on Jimmy and she smiled. "Take care Jimmy," she said. Kid looked even more bewildered. The tears muffled her voice as she called out to Ike and Buck standing on the porch, waving at them. Noah was swinging the poach around in his hand and Kid let go of the reins, Lou kicked Lightning into canter, having the horse brush against Kid as it took off. "Bye Noah," she whispered as she got the poach in her hand.

"Ride safe!" Kid hollered.

Lou stifled a sob and rode on, the tears dimming her eyesight.

Kid followed the pair that vanished, a puzzled look on his face. He stood there absolutely still until Lou vanished out of sight.

Jimmy walked up to him. "Ain't you comin'? We gotta get that merchandise for Rachel."

Kid kept staring in the far distance where the sky and the plain met. "Something's wrong," he muttered quietly as Jimmy tugged at his sleeve to get him to come along.

"Oh Kid, she's gonna be fine, she'll be back tonight. Don't start with the frettin' again, I just can't take it." Jimmy complained as he dragged the reluctant Kid toward the buckboard.

"Something's wrong with Lou," Kid repeated, "why'd she take everything along?"

"Maybe she needed to get something fixed?" Jimmy tried to lift his friend's mood but it seemed Kid wasn't even listening. "Aw come on!" Pushing him up on the buckboard, Jimmy sighed deeply as Kid's eyes never left the direction in which Lou had disappeared. Jimmy felt like he really would need to tie the two together and leave them in the barn. But Kid's words had touched a nervous string in him, he was right, something was wrong with the way she acted this morning. Jimmy just couldn't put his finger on what it was. Hating to admit that the Kid was right, he tried to push the suspicions to the back of his mind instead. Lou would be fine and back home by nightfall, he consoled himself. Still not totally convinced by the wishful thinking, he decisively shook his head to get rid of the unnerving thoughts. Lou was more than capable to take care of herself, she knew was she was doing. With a last glance in the direction Lou had disappeared, he reined the buckboard towards Sweetwater.

 

Lou had Lightning run flat out till she changed horse at the next station, she'd make this run in record time, and leave word at O'Shanesseys' when she came back. There was no turning back any more, the dice was cast. Once again she'd have to start a new life. But from here it couldn't get any worse, it could only get better. She leaned forward over the horse's neck, telling herself the tears that formed in her eyes were from the wind and not the pain she felt in her heart.


	9. Chapter 9

It was late, real late, and two desolate riders sat on the porch and stared out into the dark. Both perking their ears at the slightest sound. One of the riders kept fidgeting with his gun holster, drumming his fingernails against it, constantly checking that his guns where rightly adjusted, his stance speaking of an increasing anger and perturbation. The other sat silently, only occasionally drawing at his fingers till the joints made a cracking sound. Then he crossed his arms over his chest and bit at his lip nervously, only to shift again and sit completely silent. Ready to react at the slightest sound, his face speaking of despair. Both jumped at the sound of the door opening. A third rider stuck his head out.

"She probably just got delayed, and decided to sleep over, she'll be here first thing tomorrow. Get some sleep, Kid you've got a ride tomorrow." The rider received no response from the either of the two. Sighing he closed the door and shook his head at the riders sitting at the table in the dim light. "No use waiting any longer, I think we outta call it a night."

"I hope nothing's happened to her, the way they parted will have Kid carrying a burden for the rest of his life if something did. They we're everything but nice to each other yesterday."

"Jimmy'll probably kill him first, y'all know he'll blame him."

"I sure wish Cody was around right now, reckon he has a better relation to the Lord than I do. Sure wish he was here to say a prayer."

"Me too, if he would limit himself to that, his sermons are just too much. They might cause my gun to go off unexpectedly,"

"You think that was called for?"

"Sorry, it just slipped out!"

 

 

Lou hesitated before stepping out in sight from the shrubbery. She tucked the parcel under some twigs and covered it with the long grass, she wasn't confident enough to walk into the True Believers' sanctuary dressed as a boy, they must already be wondering about her short hair. Luckily enough she had come up with that lie about the illness in a flash of insight. Safer to be Cody's cousin, just in case. Decisively she shook her head, what was she thinking about, these were good people and they had asked her to stay, what could possibly happen to her? She was at the beginning of a new life and she would make the best of it. Straightening out her pink dress, the only dress she had owned in years, she started walking the road to the homestead. The sun was setting but she had plenty of time to get there before it was dark. Tomorrow everything would be different. "It's gonna be fine, you're gonna have a new friend too Lightning, a real nice bay mare. You'll like her." Lightning pushed Lou gently with her soft muzzle, searching her hands for goodies. "You really don't care where you're at, do you? As long as somebody keeps feedin' you." Lou smiled at the horse, at least she'd still have Lightning. "Everything will be just fine girl." Lou promised the horse. She didn't dare ride the horse and cause suspicions, instead she walked the horse to the house. As it towered up in front of her she swallowed hard. A girl on the stairs waved at her and smiled. May had recognized the arriving girl. Lou smiled and picked up speed. May ran to meet her, at the girl's welcoming face, Lou broke down and cried.

"Louise, what happened?" May asked and hugged the girl, "Esther, go get pastor Allen, Louise needs help!"

"They wanted me to marry a man, but he was a cruel man, a man that hit me!" Lou sobbed. She cried because lies bubbled out of her like they were nothing, like nothing was sacred anymore. Nobody forced her to marry anybody, Kid had only asked. And she was the one doing the hitting, not him. She was so ashamed of herself and her lies that she cried even harder.

"Shhh," May mumbled soothingly, "nobody will hit you here, you're safe with us. We will take care of you!"

"Cody can't see me here, he don't now I ran away, maybe he will tell the K...man if he sees me here, don't let him find out." Lou cried into her hands. What am I doing? Why am I telling all these lies? What's happening to me?

"Come with me Louise, Elise will take care of the horse, just follow me."

It was dark when Louise finally lifted her face from her hands and started walking the last few steps to the house, May at her side, steadying her stumbling walk. Lou felt like she was bidding good-bye to another lifetime and entering the unknown. A dim light on the porch was the only thing Lou saw because of her running tears.

 

 

Rachel cursed when she found the two riders sleeping outside the bunkhouse in the cold morning air. She knew that Lou hadn't come home. Jimmy was lying with his feet across the path to the door and nobody would have come in or out of the bunkhouse without him noticing. As she walked up to them, Kid raised his head and looked at her with fear in his eyes. "Something happened Rachel, I'm goin' out to look .."

"Now hold on, ain't this exactly what drives Lou crazy? 'Sides you got a run today, Cody'll get back at any instance and you'll be headin' out."

"I'll go look," Jimmy said while he rose, looking just about as rested as the Kid. "I'll go right now."

"None of you are goin' anywhere before you get some food into you, Lou might ride up while we eat and I can't vouch for your security if she finds out that you rode out to look for her. She has her pride boys."

"Too much I'd say," Kid muttered.

"Now hush! Jimmy, you'll start the coffee, you Kid set the table. And I don't wanna hear another word outta you."

The rest of the riders blinked at them from the door.

"Breakfast in ten minutes," Rachel informed them, "we're eating in the house, somebody bring Kid's gear if Cody rides in early. And Noah please, would you saddle Katy? These two youngsters need a scolding!"

Taking a firm grip on the young men's elbows she steered them into the house, better keep them both under surveillance, chances were they'd do something stupid if she didn't.

 

 

Jimmy returned to the waystation with a stern look on his face. He had been looking for Lou all day, it disturbed him to return with so little knowledge about her whereabouts. Ike and Buck shared a glance while Noah walked up to him, "No signs of her?"

With a sigh Jimmy slid off Sundancer. "She made it all the way back to the old O'Shaunassey place, then she disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Buck inquired. "What ya mean disappeared?"

"She quit!" Jimmy spat out, kicking at some rocks at his feet. "Somebody made her quit ridin' with us!"

"Jimmy," Buck warned, knowing exactly who he was referring too. "What you find out?"

"Took Lightning and rode off, left the poach for Sweetwater there, told the station manager to give it to the next rider heading for Sweetwater."

Kid will be passing there late tomorrow, Ike signed, when he finds out, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near.

"Where would she go? Why this haste? Didn't she tell anybody anything?" Noah intervened.

"Didn't you track her?" Buck wanted to know.

She can't have gotten that far, Ike signed, what if we all ride out after her and...

"She wanted this," Jimmy stated, "it ain't that I like it but who are we to stop her? It's her life and her decision. I only wished she would have told, at least the Kid coz' I sure ain't looking forward to telling him."

The four of them stared at each other for a moment, picturing Kid's reaction when he found out. Ike shrugged at the thought. Buck threw him a glance. "It's her decision."

Ike nodded in agreement and diverted his eyes to the plains, staring sadly out into nothing.

Noah took Sundancer's reins and started for the barn, head downcast he abided to do what Jimmy said, let Lou go.

"We'll tell Rachel," Buck sighed and tapped Jimmy's shoulder, "you prepare yourself to tell the Kid."

With an inwardly groan Jimmy turned to get into the bunkhouse, telling Kid was one thing he didn't look forward to. But then again, the way the two had been acting, maybe he wouldn't take it so bad? Jimmy had to smile at himself, who was he kidding, Kid would get frantic and he'd probably have to tie him down to stop him from riding out looking for her. Just like he had done himself and with the same result, the girl had vanished, they had to get used to ride without Lou. Jimmy gritted his teeth at the notion. If he would have known this, that morning she rode out, he would have acted differently. Why didn't she tell him if she was hurting? He would have done anything, didn't Lou know that? Why leave like this? Like something was haunting her?

Cody was snoring on his bunk. Jimmy felt compelled to do the same. Hanging his gun belt over the bedpole he threw himself on the bunk. Coming to think of it, he realized it had been a while since he slept a good night's sleep. Straightening the pillow to fit his head he felt paper brush against his hand. Irritated he thought Cody had forgotten some of his half-written stories under his pillow. He muttered when he gripped the paper to read it. If Cody had made up another of his cockamamie stories about them, Jimmy would wring his neck. What hit his eyes was Lou's handwriting. Jimmy rose into a sitting position so fast he slammed his head into the bunk above. Folding out the paper, he started reading;

 **_Jimmy  
Don't come looking for me. I am fine. I just decided it was time to move on.   
Tell the boys good-bye for me. Teaspoon and Rachel too.   
If the Kid asks about me, he probably wil not after what he told me in the barn, but do not tell him anything.  
I will miss you all,  
Lou_ **

 

That was all the note said, it looked like it had been written in a great hurry. The last part made it seem like she had been forced to end the note quickly. The last words had been scrambled over to make them illegible. Jimmy kept rereading the part about Kid and the barn. The more he read it, the angrier he got. What had the fool said to her? He rose from the bunk and walked out, he and Kid definitely needed to have a chat. He shoved his fist into his pockets and turned to do his chores. Muttering to himself the words he intended to tell the Kid as he rode in.

 

 

Lou sighed contented where she lie in a bed with clean sheets. She had been given a place to sleep in a small room aside the washing room, it was dark and tiny but there was a welcoming bed with fresh linen. Lindsay already snored in the other bed. Burying her nose into the pillow, she inhaled the scent of cleanliness and sighed. She had made the right decision. Pastor Allen and the girls had been so nice to her, comforting her and assuring her nobody would find out where she was at. They had taken Lightning to a pasture far away from the house.

Nobody would find her horse there, she knew that. She would not be found. Pastor Allen promised her she could stay inside and hide until things settled down. Louise blushed as she thought about the lies she had perpetuated. They had just kind of slid out of her. Feeling she had to continue her story from the other night, she painted the man she was about to allegedly marry out to be the devil himself. She wondered if Jimmy had found her note yet and if he had done what she asked him and not told the Kid? Even if he had told him, Kid would probably be glad she was gone. She remembered vividly the look in his eyes when he laid bent double on the ground, gulping for air after her assault. She had hurt him, she knew that. What had possessed her? She remembered him holding Lightning's reins before she rode out. He looked at her like he used to before, like he wanted to say something sweet to her.

Lou blinked the tears away. She had to remember him shouting at her in the barn, the words he had cast in her face. In front of Noah and all. He had called her cheap and easy and she would never forgive him for that. But his last 'Ride safe' kept haunting her.

"Louise it's over," she told herself, "he just used you, never forget that." She was trying to convince herself that that was the case. A voice in the back of her head asked her if she had used him too? To get over some dark memories? Louise shut the voice out by pulling the pillow over her head and making plans for tomorrow. Everything would be better tomorrow, it just had to be.


	10. Chapter 10

Lou woke by the sound of girls splashing water in the room adjoining hers. It must be real early, Lou felt like she had hardly slept at all. It had become late last night before she was ready to go to bed. The thought that had haunted her had prevented her from falling asleep. She lay on the bed for a while, wondering what the boys were doing back at the waystation? Had Kid come back yet? When the thought trickled into her mind, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Lindsay was already up and Lou felt she'd not be polite if she stayed in bed any longer. Hastily she put on the dress Lindsay had given her. It was blue and the fabric felt harsh against her skin. Rubbing her eyes, she stepped out to join the girls in their morning wash. It felt nice to be with her own gender again, not having to hide who she really was. Now wait a minute Lou, she thought, that's not exactly true now is it? These girls don't know the truth you have to remember that and keep to your story! She smiled as one of the girls handed her a piece of soap. It had a rosy fragrance, when had she ever been able to use a soap like this while riding with the Pony Express? Then it hit her exactly when she had and the soap slid out of her hand, blushing she bowed to pick it up again. She had to stop thinking about her old days, these were her new days now.

The girls sure put her to work alright. The washing and the cleaning, the cooking and the sowing had her so tired she could hardly think any longer. All of the girls told her their own stories, all the new names had Lou's head swirling. They pampered her, while showing her how Pastor Allen wanted things done. They told her not to worry, he was strict but loving and they would all help her get into the routine of the house. Lou felt like she needed to sit down and take a breather but she never got the chance. That evening Louise fell asleep when her head touched the pillow.

 

 

Jimmy let the broom go when Katy and the Kid stormed in. Half a day too early. Jimmy's jaws were tightened, his anger had kept building while he waited, the sleepless night didn't make him feel any better. He watched Kid throw the poach to Ike and slow down. Jimmy waited for him at the barn door.

"Find her?" Kid asked the minute he slid down off Katy.

"You're early, skipped a station or two?" Jimmy sneered.

"Rode all night, any signs of Lou?"

"Don't think she wants to be found," Jimmy muttered through clenched teeth. Thinking about Lou's letter and the line that was imprinted in his mind, he fought the will to slam Kid up against the wall and yell at him.

"What do you mean, doesn't want to be found? I talked to the stationmanager at O'Shaunassey's, she was there two days ago! He told me she'd left the poach there for the next rider. What's goin' on? Why didn't you go look for her?"

Jimmy gritted his teeth and took the reins, without a word he turned to take Katy inside. Kid followed wearily, sensing Jimmy's anger but not knowing the reason behind it. Silently he awaited for his friend to explain what he had found out and what there was to be done about it.

Jimmy took the saddle off Katy and turned to walk away. Kid stepped up to free her of the bridle and cover her in a blanket before he gave the tired horse some water.

"What you say to her?" Jimmy spat out, having placed himself at a secure distance from the Kid. Afraid his rage would take over, he crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell did you say to her that made her run away?"

Kid stopped mid-stride while stepping out of Katy's stall. Had Noah told Jimmy about the harsh words in the barn? Was that why Jimmy looked ready to kill him? Kid felt his own rage rise as he thought about Jimmy meddling in things that didn't concern him. It had been between him and Lou and he had tried to excuse himself, Lou didn't seem to mind what he said or did any longer. Was he supposed to grovel when Lou didn't care at all? A wave of bitterness rolled over him and he took a deep ragged breath. Jimmy stared coldly at him and Kid decided to leave it be, he had better things to do than fight with Jimmy. Finding Lou was one of those things.

"I said nothing to make her run away, not a word."

He turned to get the water, trying to avoid Jimmy best he could. He was not in the mood for any discussions, he knew Jimmy wouldn't understand anyhow. Sighing he bent to take the sink of water and bring it to Katy.

Jimmy stepped up to stand in front of him. Kid groaned inwardly as he understood Jimmy wouldn't let up. He raised his head to meet his friend face to face and try and make him understand. Kid never saw it coming before Jimmy's fist landed hard on his jaw. Stumbling backwards, he stared at his friend. Had he gone mad? The thought crossed his mind just as Jimmy threw another punch at him, connecting hard with his nose, making his eyes water from the intense pain, sending blood streaming down his chin. The pain blinding him momentarily, he stumbled backwards and fell to the hard packed dirt-floor.

"You made her leave!" Jimmy hollered and lifted him up from the ground, holding his collar in a tight grip, barking in his face. Kid was too shocked to react. "It's all your fault, everything's your fault!"

When Jimmy slammed him up against the wall, Kid finally reacted. Without thinking he sent out a fist toward Jimmy's face, not even aiming, just trying to get him away. Jimmy took two steps back to collect himself, then he lunged anew and Kid felt his hard fists connect with his ribs. The pain enraged the Kid enough to answer with the same measure. Both throwing punches, they ended up rolling on the ground, desperately trying to get a hold of the other one and win the match. Rolling around in the dirt, slamming each other up against the walls, hitting various body parts on protruding objects, they took the anger out on each other with fierce blows. Jimmy was the first to slow down, his anger blew over before Kid's did. And Kid was tired and beat, with a last menacing growl Jimmy pinned Kid to the ground, securing his hold on him with a knee on his chest.

"Ok you win, it's all my fault," Kid snarled angrily between heavy breaths, seeing he was beat. Jimmy was too tired to let him go. Panting he held him to his place; if Kid regained his stance now Jimmy would not have anything to answer with. They remain staring at each other menacingly before Jimmy finally broke the contest.

"Oh God, Kid I'm sorry!" Jimmy let go and had to lie down, every muscle in his body protesting. Why'd he start this fight with Kid, he outta have known the pain it would cause. Wouldn't he ever learn? He wiped his nose and moaned, disgusted as he found blood leaking out of it.

Kid sat himself up and Jimmy looked at him. He sure was a sorry sight, he had bruises all over the face and the nose still bled profoundly. He looked like he wanted to throw up.

"One punch would have been enough Jimmy, you didn't have to keep on going like that! I already got it you're mad at me." Kid slurred. While he talked he had to spit out blood that trickled into his mouth. He was such a sorry sight. Jimmy rose to help him. As he did he felt an acute ache in his left eye, feeling it with his hand he sensed it was already swelling. Trying to open it fully he found he just couldn't.

"Look at what you did," he muttered in Kid's direction, pointing to his own eye. Kid grinned scornfully just to lean over and moan as the cheekbone sent out a gut wrenching pain. As he bent over Jimmy saw the blood dripping onto his pants.

"Goddammit it Kid, Rachel will kill us both." Searching in his pocket he found a paper that he handed the Kid. "Don't go bleedin' all over the place. Is it broken? Lemme see!"

Kid muttered something that Jimmy had no wish to comment on before he took the paper and held it to his nose. Wiping his nose with it he made a wry face, it felt like a log contacted with his already sore nose. Disgusted he watched the paper in his hand. Trust Jimmy to have you wipe your nose on a wanted poster. His heart stopped as pastor Allen's eyes glared at him. With widened eyes he unfolded the paper that had been lodged in Jimmy's pocket. The writing told him the man was wanted for murder and something else that had been made illegible by the blood smeared over it. His hand shaking, he kept on reading. The man was wanted in Minnesota for the suspected murder of several young girls. Kid wanted to throw up.

Jimmy looked puzzled at Kid's odd behavior. He seemed to have seen a ghost on the paper. Sprawled on the dirt, he stared at the paper with blood running from the nose. Jimmy was appalled at the sight of him.

"What's wrong? Would you quit bleedin' all over the place already?"

Kid turned the paper back as it was when he had recognized the man and shoved the paper under Jimmy's nose.

"Anyone you know?"

Jimmy looked at the poster. With only the eyes visible there was no question about who the man was, or at least resembled remarkably. The beard and the hair had fooled him at first. Now pastor Allen's eyes stared calmly at him from the Wanted poster. Folding it up he read the award; 100 dollars!

"What you say Kid, need some increase in the pay?"

"Tonight?" Kid asked incredulously while still carefully wiping the bleeding nose.

Jimmy sighed at the sight of his friend. Rising to stand on his shaking legs, he looked around, finding a cloth they used to dry the horses off with. He immersed it in the bucket of cold water that miraculously had been saved. He took it to Katy before he turned to the Kid still sitting on the ground looking at him with suspicious eyes.

"Might be gone tomorrow," Jimmy stated and drew the moaning Kid up on his feet. "If it makes you feel any better, we'll take the buckboard." Without another word the shoved the cloth onto Kid's nose. "Here, this outta help!"

Kid let out pitiful moans as Jimmy pressed the cloth to his nose, he could hear him say something under the cloth that normally would have had Jimmy throw him back to the ground. But under the present circumstances, Jimmy decided to let it slide.

 

Both standing on unsteady legs, they had to hold on to each other not to fall down. Kid made a wry face at Jimmy's panting while he was torturing him further with a damned piece of dirty linen. Jimmy looked like he'd fall down if Kid let go and now he wanted to go hunt criminals. Kid searched for a reason to stop the foolishness, they ought to be looking for Lou instead of acting as bounty hunters. He started to protest when Jimmy finally let go off the cloth he was tormenting him with. Kid had to bend over and curse him again.

"Well Kid, done complainin' now? Ready to finally do some good, like a man's work?" Jimmy asked with a voice that clearly indicated that if Kid bailed out now he'd have to regret it forever.

"Shouldn't we tell Teaspoon?" Kid began when he let go of Jimmy, not totally secure he'd be able to stand on his own legs. "Ain't it safer to..."

"Kid, Teaspoon ain't here, don't try to bail out on me now!"

"I know I'm gonna regret this," Kid wheezed while he followed Jimmy out to hitch a horse.

 

 

"You alright?" Jimmy asked for the millionth time as they slowly drove towards the True Believers' homestead. Kid had been very quiet, holding his nose and casting accusatory glances at him. "I told you I'm sorry!"

"Not as sorry as my nose is," Kid mumbled. "Tell me Jimmy, do you have a plan or ar'ya intendin' on wanderin' in and just shoot the man if he don't come along just like that. If he even is the man?"

"Listen to you, it was you who told me he is the one. And I know I had a hunch as soon as I saw that poster, just couldn't connect the picture to the man. We'll just see..."

"With one eye?" Kid asked sarcastically with a meaning look at Jimmy's left one that was swollen completely shut.

"Don't start Kid," Jimmy warned, shifting uneasy on the drivers seat, his body felt like it had been run over by a wagon. "Let's just check the place out, see what's goin' on."

"Jimmy, you've been there, didn't you see anything strange at all while you were choppin' wood?"

"Maybe I didn't look," Jimmy wheezed angrily just to groan at the pain of one simple jaw movement. Kid noticed his wry face and leered at him. "Don't rub it in Kid, or I'll have to take measures." Poking a finger in Kid's ribs Jimmy noticed with amusement a moan slip out of his friend before he effortlessly swatted his hand away. "Got you good didn't she?"

"Yeah yeah, spread the words," Kid muttered. "I just hope you'll be able to after we visit the pastor. If he really is the man, he ain't somebody to fool around with Jimmy. Maybe we should..."

"Gettin' second thoughts?" Jimmy cut him off, "didn't know you were yellow Kid."

"Heck, I had second thoughts to begin with, what I'm gettin' now is third and fourth thoughts."

Jimmy had to chuckle even though it provoked him to moan forlornly.

"Jimmy!" Kid grabbed his arm, "listen!"

Jimmy raised his head and looked at his friend, what was he on to now? "I hope you ain't..."

Kid hushed Jimmy and listened into the dark. Jimmy wrinkled his brow at his antics, then he heard it too. It sounded like somebody was running towards them. There were trees and shrubbery covering the side of the trail and somebody seemed to run flat out in the dark. Jimmy squinted his eye in the direction, cursing the Kid for having left him with only one good eye. Jimmy stopped the horse. With the wagon still, they both listened intently.

"It's a girl," Kid whispered and pointed further down the trail.

In the pale moonlight Jimmy saw nothing at first, then he got a glimpse of a blue dress between the tree stems. The girl moved very fast, seemingly trying to stay out of sight. Jimmy didn't know if she had spotted them. With a glance on each other, Jimmy and Kid jumped down from the buckboard to stop the girl, both knowing that running like that in the dark meant only one thing. The girl was frightened out of her wits.


	11. Chapter 11

Lou was folding linen in the small storage room. She was dead tired, having done a million things, all new to her, made her eyes want to close while she was still standing up. But she still had all this linen to fold and put on the shelves; she had to gain Pastor Allen's trust so she could ask him to bring Jeremiah and Theresa here. And with all these pregnant young women around that had to rest a lot, she'd work herself to the bone before she asked the Pastor for permission to bring her siblings here. If she did, he couldn't deny her that, could he?

The door opened and Louise turned to watch who entered. She smiled as she recognized pastor Allen's handsome features.  
"Oh here you are, Louise! You're really doing a wonderful job here. How are you settling in?"

His blue eyes were twinkling and Louise felt her cheeks blush. "Oh everything is fine reverend, it's wonderful to be here."  
"Call me Paul, sweetheart," the man caressed her cheek with the backside of his fingers. Louise looked away afraid he'd read too much in her eyes. But her knees trembled at his touch.

"You're really beautiful, Louise, that dress surely brings out the best in you. You're gonna make a man real happy some day."

Paul extended his hand and let it rest on her elbow. "Why don't you rest in my room for a while, I know being around all these people is tiresome and confusing when you're new. Leave the laundry and let me show you to my room."

Something snapped in Lou, the touch had been too intimate, too demanding. That touch reminded her of something buried deep inside, something so awful she couldn't think about it. She wanted to ask the reverend what he meant by that touch? Turning to him she read what he wanted in his eyes, Lou's heart stopped. She knew she had to get out, and now. But all these girls loved the reverend, they'd never believe her. What was in in her that brought this on to her. Why did men treat her like this? His hand moved up to her arm and squeezed it a little too hard. Lou's mind started working on a solution, she felt incredibly composed, all her instincts were directed on fleeing but an instinctive calm seemed to stop her. She wouldn't react like last time, she'd get out of this unharmed. All her instincts were directed towards that goal and she obeyed her gut reactions without questioning the validity.

"I'll wash up first," she stated, not believing how normal her voice sounded.

"I'll be waiting for you," Paul smiled.

Lou had no idea how she got to the room with the basin, she concentrated of putting one foot ahead of the other and walk. As she tried to close the door behind her, she found there was no way of locking it shut. The reverend could walk into the room whenever he wished. He probably had the key that fitted the all the locks. Some girls must have caught up with the reverend. She heard them giggle as he talked to them. Lou's eyes fell on the window. Taking a towel, she wrapped it around her hand and crushed the glass just as the girls in the foyer exploded in laughter. Lou jumped.

Landing in the soft soil of the garden patch, she was up on her feet immediately and started running. She ran away from the house to the sheltering trees. Her lungs burning she finally slowed down as she reached a stem to hide behind. Panting she turned to look at the house.

With horror she noticed pastor Allen look out the broken window, holding a lantern, he surveyed the area. With a sob Lou turned and started running again, the calm was gone and she ran in absolute terror. Stumbling on the long skirt in the unknown terrain, she fell and felt a searing pain radiate from her knee. Wanting to throw up she shook her head, there was no time to feel pain right now, she had to run for her life. Blocking everything else out, she leaped onwards, ducking the trees and desperately trying to avoid the shrubbery she knew would slow her down. Occasionally brushing up hard against the twigs in her way, she felt no pain any longer, fear had taken over and she had only one thing in her mind. To get away from here.

 

Jimmy tried to get to the girl in the dark. Stumbling over rocks and roots he tried to lunge himself to stop her wild pace. He was dumbstruck when he recognized the girl. "Lou?" he hollered and she looked to the side at him. Kid stepped up right in the path and threw his arms out to catch her. The force with which she ran into his lap caused him to stagger and then both of them tumbled down.

 

Lou felt familiar arms embrace her, arms that had never harmed her. "Kid?" She sobbed breathlessly and clutched on to him. She gripped his shirt hard, forming fists while holding on to the fabric for dear life. Burying her nose into the collar, breathing so hard it felt like her lungs were about to explode. She felt the taste of blood in her mouth. His chest was heaving under her and she curled up on top of him as he enfolded her in his arms. Lou clung on to him, wishing he'd never let go, hoping he'd hold her close and let her sink into to the sense of security. She heard somebody walk up to them and block the light from the moon by leaning in over them.

"You two have the strangest ways of saying hello," Jimmy said.

Lou felt tears run down her face as Kid's hand reached her chin.

Cupping her head in his hand he finally asked; "Lou?"

She cried while his hand caressed her hair and her breath slowed to its normal rate. A tiredness spread all over her body and she started trembling while Kid stroke her hair and talked soothingly to her. She had no idea what he said but the sound of his voice eased the pain that had taken over her being and her sobs finally subsided. Jimmy stood at their side holding an eye on her. When Kid mumbled that she was safe and nothing would hurt her she remembered what she had done to him and the tears started to flow again. "I'm...so s-sorry," she sobbed into Kid's chest.

"It's alright Lou, there's nothing to be sorry for, just catch your breath, everything's gonna be alright."

I don't wanna lose you, she thought as she buried her head deeper into his coarse shirt, I never wanted anything that's happened to happen, Kid!

But she said nothing, there were things that hurt too much to even think about. And saying what she thought out loud was unthinkable. She had let him go and she had no right to ask him to come back, he had to return willingly. And knowing Kid, she knew it would take a lot for him to do that, proud as he was. She awkwardly dried her eyes with the dirty torn dress.

Kid seated himself up with Lou still cradled in his arms. Jimmy sat down at their side, waiting for her to explain what she was doing running over the plains at this time of night.

"Lou?" Kid asked softly,"what are you doing here?"

"I..." Lou swallowed hard. "I was wrong about the pastor Kid, he tried to..." At the memory she couldn't speak no more, she hid her face against Kids shirt, trembling, grateful that he hugged her closer.

"Are you okay, Lou?" He whispered in her ear, and Lou could tell his trepidation. "Fine now," she hurried to mumble, "I'm fine now Kid." She sobbed and kept repeating the word, "just fine" to soothe herself. Kid rocked her in his lap till she calmed down again.

"Kid!" Jimmy whispered, "she's hurt her knee!"

Kid shifted to take a look, Lou's knee was severed with a nasty gash. Blood kept trickling out of it. He had to let go of her in order to get his coat off. "Lou, let me look at your knee honey, I have to stop the bleeding."

Jimmy smiled at the endearment. Lou winced as Kid seated her to the ground and enfolded her in his coat. Kid examined the wound and looked at Jimmy. "We have to get her home, she's hurt and freezin'."

"Hang on Kid, I have a canteen, I'll get it for you, at least you can clean the wound." Jimmy walked to the buckboard. Lou wanted Kid to look at her but he didn't, he kept his eyes on Jimmy walking away. All of a sudden Lou felt like crying again, maybe he still hadn't forgiven her, maybe he still was mad at her. "Kid," she started and touched his hand, "I..."

She was interrupted by the returning Jimmy; "Kid, what if that man is looking for her?"

"So what's your suggestion Jimmy?" Kid muttered while he took the canteen Jimmy was handing him.

"Stop talkin' like I'm not around," Lou wheezed, glaring at Jimmy. Her eyes widened in surprise noticing Jimmy's bruised face and swollen eye. "What happened to you?"

Kid was ripping pieces of Lou's petticoat, the only clean fabric he could think of, to bandage her knee, but had time to cast a warning eye in Jimmy's direction.

Kid poured water onto her knee and Lou instinctively jerked it away.

"Ran into the barn door," Jimmy explained while he held Lou's leg still to enable Kid to put the fabric tightly around the gashed knee.

Lou tilted her head and realized Kid had dried blood all over his collar and a cut on the temple. His nose was unmistakably very swollen as was his lower lip. To put it short, they both looked awful. "You too?" she asked, tugging at Kid's shirt.

"We both had the same aim," Jimmy leered.

"What aim?" Lou asked bewildered, wincing again as Kid tightened the cloth around her aching knee.

"Sorry Lou, that should stop the bleedin' but you need to get to a doctor." Kid still refused to look at her.

Lou snorted; "Did the two of you happen to look at yourselves? Kid that nose looks broken and Jimmy, that one-eyed new look of yours ain't suiting you the leastest and your nose looks crooked too. You fought didn't ya? What about?"

"You," Jimmy smiled at her, "what else?"

Lou looked at Kid, but he said nothing, just gathered the things he had spread around while nursing her knee. Lou rose and tried to stand on her leg, it wasn't too bad. She noticed Kid keeping a concerned eye on her, desperately trying not to let her know.

On the trail Lollipop shook the head and started to walk.

"Whoa!" Jimmy cried out to stop the horse.

She had forgot all about Lightning! Her horse was still at the homestead, she just couldn't leave her there. Now she had to convince the boys that she had to go get her!

"Let's go home," Kid said as he rose to his feet. Lou shook her head; "Lightning's out there, she's in the meadows behind the hill, I need to go get her, I'll take Lollipop, it'll just take me a couple of minutes!"

Kid looked at her like she was deranged.

"Kid, I have to, you wouldn't leave Katy behind either, you know that!" When he turned to fully face her the moonlight revealed the full extent of his facial bruises to her. She was appalled at the amount of blood on his shirt. "God Kid," she whispered, "that must really hurt."

Reaching to cup his face into her hands he recoiled; "Don't," he warned, lifting a hand to stop her from touching him.

"Won't touch your nose Kid, just let me see, you've got a nasty cut on your temple, I need to clean it, Kid. I promise I won't touch your nose." She took what was left of her petticoat from his hand and fought him slightly for the canteen. "Be still," she said as she reached up to clean his wound, "I won't hurt you, I promise, but did'ya know your lip's got a cut too?"

Jimmy was left staring at the two. A second ago Lou had been intent on saving Lightning, now she was intent on saving the Kid. They both stood there gazing into each others eyes, neither of them moving. Jimmy sighed and turned to get to the buckboard, the two of them were not to be reckoned with any longer, he had to get Lightning himself or they'd be out here all night.

As he climbed up on the buckboard, he threw a last glance on the pair. Lou was holding a piece of cloth against Kid's temple, talking softly to him. Kid looked like he was in seventh heaven. Was this the same couple that had been hating each others guts the past weeks?

"Lollipop," he complained to the horse, "do people seem strange to you too?" Lollipop snorted and shook the head, longing to move. "Thought so," Jimmy muttered as he nicked the reins to get Lollipop to pick up a trot. As usual it was left up to him to do what needed to be done. He'd get Lightning and he'd get that scum of a man too.

 

At the sound of the buckboard starting to move Kid jerked his eyes to the sound and Lou swirled around. "Jimmy!" she hollered. "Where you goin'?"

"To find more trouble," a muffled voice remarked behind her. She turned around to find Kid bent over, muttering, holding his hand under his nose. Lou crouched to look at him. He had tears in his eyes and his nose was bleeding again.  
"Kid?" she asked just to get an angered glare in response. "Oh did I...I'm sorry Kid, I didn't mean to, come here, I'll get that bleeding to stop."

"Oh no, please Lou, I'm fine really!"

She adamantly steered him to a tree stem, sitting down to lean against it, she motioned him to sit in front of her. Kid looked puzzled. "Just do what I tell you." Securing a grip on him she forced him to lean onto her and rest his head on her shoulder, with his damaged nose up in the air. "This is gonna hurt a bit," she warned as she pressed the soaked petticoat onto his nose. Kid let out a long whimper. "Just keep still, and you'll be fine."

Kid moved his orbs in her direction; "You're really likin' this ain't ya?"

"Yes," Lou responded truthfully.

 

Rachel was mad, Jimmy had ridden in this morning and was nowhere to be found. Neither was the Kid, and the buckboard was gone. "Damn them," Rachel muttered. She intended to ask them to get corn from Thompkin's tomorrow, the horses were almost out of licks too. She'd have to ask Buck and Noah, again. As long as the buckboard reappeared in time, Kid and Jimmy could ride down a steep slope and stay at the bottom for all she cared. Angrily she kicked a chair that stood in her way, muttering as her toes told her not to. Lou was gone and had left without even saying good-bye, it just wasn't right. She was angry at the Kid for letting her go, angry at Jimmy for not stopping her, she was mad at everybody for everything. And to top it off, those two good for nothings had taken the buckboard. God knows where the boys were off to now? She was so mad she didn't even hear the door open and familiar steps traverse the floor.

"Rachel? You look like you're about to wring some necks here, what's up?"

"Teaspoon!" Rachel grinned, "I'm so glad you're back!"

"What'd they do now?" Teaspoon sighed as he sank down on a chair, "where is everybody?"

"That's just it Teaspoon, I have no clue."


	12. Chapter 12

There were only three riders in the bunkhouse for supper that evening. And they had to withstand Rachel's anger. She kept interrogating them about Lou, Jimmy and Kid. Cody tried to placate her, while telling Teaspoon all about the good old pastor Allen. Buck and Noah looked like they were nauseated. Rachel slammed the plate of bread onto the table so hard Cody's glass fell over.

"Rachel, you okay?" Noah asked witnessing the housekeeper's angry moves as she threw Cody a towel to clean the mess with.

"Splendid, Noah, just splendid!" Rachel mumbled irritably.

"Could'a fooled me," Teaspoon remarked, with a glance at the fuming woman.

"Tell you what Teaspoon," Rachel said as she leaned over the table to bury her eyes in his, "I need to get to town tomorrow and the buckboard is gone. You wanna enlighten me on how I'm gonna get three one-hundred pound sacks of corn carried by myself back here? Because tomorrow there will be no riders left here, they'll all be gone!"

Cody was keeping his eyes lodged on Rachel's front. Noah poked him hard to get his attention elsewhere. Rachel might put venom in their breakfast if she noticed, at least in the mood she was right now. Noah wondered if there was something in the air that made everybody act crazy?

"The boys will get back Rachel, I know."

"Of course the boys will get back, but what about the girl, anybody care about her any longer?"

Cody, Buck and Noah were up on their feet so fast, the table was about to fall over. Teaspoon had to put his arms on it to steady it.

"Uh, we're goin' out lookin' Rachel, don't you worry," Cody said as he backed out. It had been a direct accusation and no one of the riders had any choice left but go out and find the lost rider.

"We'll find them all Rachel, don't fret," Noah mumbled, casting worried eyes in her direction.

"Won't be back before we do," Buck assured her, pushing the rest out.

Rachel sank to the bench."Must have been more worried than I wanted to admit to," she sighed, leaning her head in her hands.

"Glad you made them," Teaspoon grinned, "coz' I was just goin' to. And they just can't deny you askin' seein' as how you're feedin' them an' all."

 

 

"It's the middle of the night an' I gotta go look for those two, excuse me I stand corrected, three knuckleheads! It's just not fair," Cody complained while they saddled their horses. "They can be anywhere."

"Cody, show some mercy," Noah replied dryly, "ain't that what you keep preachin' about, thought some of it might have rubbed off onto ya."

"Not in the middle of the night it ain't," Cody whined, "ain't like Rachel to force us out into a wild goose chase in the middle of supper. Didn't even get to finish the last bread."

Buck rolled his eyes at his complaints. But he had to admit, the idea wasn't the brightest. "Anybody see the two of them take off?"

Noah shook his head; "But I tell you, Jimmy didn't look too happy whilst waiting for the Kid. Maybe he killed him and is off to bury him?"

Buck shot Noah a disgusted glance.

Noah smiled noticing the face his friend made. "Naw, you're right, but I'd sure check at the Doc's if I were you, maybe one or the other needed some medical aid." Noah couldn't help but chuckle at the thought.

"Noah!" Cody warned, "if that's true Rachel will have us tend to them. Don't go wishing yourself he - a bad thing to happen."

"Cody, I hate to tell you this but I have a feeling a bad thing already happened. I'm goin' to Sweetwater, the two of you make up your minds where you gonna look." Buck had already mounted his horse and looked down on the other two from his elevated position. "You two stay out of trouble, I hate thinkin' about looking for the two of you too."

"I've never been lost in my entire life," Cody informed him with a superior grin.

Noah laughed at his remark and Cody turned to him with a dismayed frown.

"That's a matter of opinion Cody, whether you're lost or not." Noah chuckled. "If you ask me...."

"Who's askin'," Cody leered and swung the saddle up on his mount, "wasn't it you who..."

"Hey!" Buck intervened from above them. "You can sort all this out tomorrow, let's go find them first. Kid and Jimmy can't have gotten far yet, just go get them." He kicked his horse into action and bowed his head as the animal leaped out of the barn.

"Ain't he the born optimist," Cody muttered as the sound of hooves subdued.

"I'm going towards Blue Creek," Noah informed him, "that's where Lou was seen last."

 

 

Jimmy had to leave the buckboard hidden in a group of tree's, he felt tired and weak from the earlier fight. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He'd get Lightning and then Kid and Lou. The man would have to wait, he just didn't feel up to it right now. He had to sit down and rest every once in a while, this whole endeavor took him far longer than he had calculated. He hoped Kid felt the same pain he did. But of course by now him and Lou were probably kissing and making up. "Hope your lip hurts like hell," Jimmy muttered to himself as he made his way down the slope. A group of horses were standing in the meadow, their attention directed at Jimmy. "I'll probably scare them off too," he continued his complaining. But the horse in front must have recognized him as a friend of her owner and started walking towards him. "I hope you have a halter on," Jimmy told the horse softly as it approached him. Lightning shoved the muzzle into Jimmy's hands and Jimmy smiled gripping the halter. "Girl, Lou'll get you all the bread she finds in the bunkhouse when we get home. You'll have to wait, you'll get yours."

He freed the horse's frontlegs from the ropes that had stopped Lightening from running. "We're gonna climb that rise and then we'll get your owner," he promised the horse.

Lightning dragged him up the hill, Jimmy had a hard time following in the mare's pace. He contemplated mounting but his muscles warned him of such an action. As the mare spotted Lollipop tied to the tree, she lengthened her stride and Jimmy moaned as he had to run at the mare's side. "Whoa, girl, wait for me." The horse shied for something on the ground and Jimmy stumbled and had to let go. Cursing he fell onto his knees. In the corner of his eyes he saw something that made his blood curl. A dress was lying on the ground. Jimmy was afraid to turn his head and take in the full picture. Then the dress moaned and Jimmy rose to look. A pale girl was starting to wake up, she had the same kind of dress as Lou had on, dark blue and coarse. The girl had been beaten, her face was bruised and her lips bitten to a bloody pulp. Jimmy figured that the dark spots on the dress was dried blood.

"Miss?" Jimmy whispered. Then he heard footsteps behind and as he turned everything went black, his gun dropped to the ground.

 

Kid was pacing restlessly. Lou followed his moves and wondered what made him so nervous. Jimmy had been gone maybe half an hour, but he might not find Lightning that easily. Looking at the Kid, she started to wonder if he was hiding something from her? Her knee had started to ache again and she didn't feel up to pacing alongside of him. He himself looked like he ought to sit down before he fell over. Stumbling and groaning forlornly when his toes encountered a root, his hand on its way up to the nose, only to stop in midair at the realization that touching the aching part would only worsen the situation. Lou shook her head at his stumbling around aimlessly. She was cold, she was tired and she desperately wanted to get out of here. And all she could do right now was sit and watch the Kid pace.

"Kid?"

"Huh, Lou, you okay?" He stopped momentarily to look at her.

"What makes you pace?" she asked.

Kid smiled half heartily at her, she could tell he was searching his mind for a good lie. "I'm just cold," he said, obviously not finding anything better.

"Well come over here then," Lou told him. "We'll have to keep each other warm."

Kid chuckled. "I don't think that's a good idea Lou."

Lou was hurt and humiliated. "Not like what you're wishing you fool, we'll share your coat that's all."

"I'm just fine Lou," Kid smiled at her.

"Well, I ain't," Lou said and rose to her feet, "I'm cold!"

Kid came hesitantly towards her. "What'd you have in mind?"

"I know you won't like it but you'll have to take your coat and sit down, then you'll have to sacrifice yourself and let me share some of the warmth. And I swear I'd rather share Jimmy's warmth than yours but he's not around."

Kid looked distinctly hurt. "You would, wouldn't you?"

Lou handed him his coat and pointed to the place where she had been sitting. Kid sighed and put the coat on before he sat down. Lou squeezed herself into his lap. "I'm sorry Kid," she excused herself as his arms enfolded her, "but it's a darned cold night."

"You don't get it do you, Lou?"

"Maybe I don't wanna get it." She felt him stiffen at her words and smiled at her own wittiness. The she felt his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm so immensely sorry, Lou."

Lou turned her face so she could look at him. "Well, you can always start apologizing by spilling the beans about why you're so high-strung about Jimmy not being back yet."

Kid leaned back onto the tree stem, drawing her closer to his chest. "We think we found something out about the man," he started. "Jimmy found a wanted poster at the Blue Creek station, it's wasn't meant to get there in the first place so I ain't exactly sure myself but...."

Lou listened to the story, cold chills running up and down her spine. Was the man wanted for murder? They must be wrong, but then again, hadn't she herself ran away from there fearing for her life? As Kid's story progressed, she curled herself closer and closer into his lap. "But you ain't sure it's really him?" she asked in a trembling voice.

"No," Kid admitted, "the more I think of it the man seemed older, "but then again maybe the long hair and beard fooled me. I just don't know. But I sure as hell wish Jimmy won't do anything stupid."

"You know Jimmy.." Lou's voice was cut off by a shot ringing out. Both sat as paralyzed. "What was that?" Lou whispered.

Kid sat silent listening into the night, there was only the sound of the wind razzing the leaves."A shot Lou, but only one shot. Maybe Jimmy found a rattler or something. Maybe somebody is out hunting?"

Lou glared at him, what an incredibly stupid thing to say, hunting in the middle of the night?

"The moonlight Lou, I've seen people hunt rabbits in the moonlight. It's not as far fetched as you think."

Lou sank back into his lap, her tiredness had returned full force with the warmth of his embrace. Right now she felt too tired to do anything at all. She had a hard time keeping her eyes open, even if a thousand thoughts ran around in her mind, the strain of running had taken the strength out of her. Pushing all the bad thoughts to the back of her mind, she snuggled into the embrace. "Kid, wake me up if I fall asleep."

Kid smiled in the dark. "Go to sleep Lou, we'll just wait till Jimmy turns up with the buckboard. Then you'll have a warm bunk."

Lou wasn't too sure that the bunk would be warmer than his lap, but she couldn't tell him that, now could she? Since the tip of her nose was ice-cold she buried it into the warm coat. Then she mumbled a goodnight and closed her eyes.

 

Cody turned his horse around at the sound of a gunshot. There was only one and Cody couldn't figure out why somebody would shoot in the middle of the night? It could only mean trouble. For a moment he sat on his horse, trying hard to detect and decipher every sound in his surroundings. After that one shot, there was nothing, only the scared sounds of the night animals disturbed in their nightly routine. Reflexively Cody cocked his own gun, the stillness unnerving him. He kicked his horse into a slow canter and tried to remember from where the shot had come. It had sounded very far away and he felt he had already been riding for hours. Grateful that the moon allowed him to survey the area, he let his eyes wander around the terrain. Nobody was in sight. His horse whinnied and its call was answered. Cody rode to the sound of the horses neighing far away.

He threw himself off the horse as the buckboard emerged in his sight. It was hidden behind some trees and Cody wondered what on earth it was doing on the True Believer's homestead in the middle of the night. Maybe Kid and Jimmy were courting some of the girls after all? Would they be surprised when they found out pastor Allen's policy on showing up unannounced after dark. Chuckling he pictured Kid and Jimmy doing at least a weeks worth of work to amend their boldness. Then his eyes fell on the dreadful sight at the end of the wagon. Mamie was lying in the dirt. Her face scratched and her clothes torn. Cody gulped in disgust. The front of her dress was covered in blood. At her side laid a very familiar silver gun.

"Jimmy?" Cody sank to his knees and hesitated before touching the girl. Tears rose to his eyes as he realized she was long gone, nobody could survive a gunshot right into the heart. Lightning walked up to him from the dark and almost caused him to fall down dead himself.

"Has he gone crazy?" Cody asked the horse. "How many has he killed, and where the hell is he?"


	13. Chapter 13

Lou heard the buckboard roll over the trail, she was sitting in the far end and it bumped oddly. Hissing irritably she moved to get a better position.

"Lou, Jimmy's comin'"

She opened her eyes just enough to look right into complete darkness. Squinting her eyes she tried to determine if she had fallen off the buckboard.

"Cody?" Kid's voice rang out and she cracked her eyes wide open at the surprise in it. Then she realized her head was tucked in under his coat. With a grunt she raised her head to see what the Kid was talking about. He was still holding her tightly pressed to his chest. She freed herself from Kid's hold and crawled to her feet. Turning her eyes to the trail her mouth fell open as she saw Cody on the buckboard, staring at them as if they were ghosts. With a cry he threw himself to the ground and ran towards them. He reached Lou and threw his arms around her; "I thought Jimmy had killed you all off!"

Lou couldn't talk since the air was being squeezed out of her.

"Huh?" Kid let out while his eyes were darting between the buckboard and Cody. "Where's..." he started but Cody cut him off.

"Dammit Kid, he really beat you this time didn't he? How'd you escape? I thought he'd taken you out to bury you in the woods or something. Did he get you too Lou, what are you doin' here? God, did he beat you too? We have to stop him. He's gone completely insane. I had to put Mamie on the buckboard, she ain't a pretty sight. Never would I have thought he'd be able to do a thing like this. I just don't understand it."

Lou and Kid exchanged a glance, both trying to assess if the other had a clue to what Cody was rambling about. How come he had the buckboard, had something happened to Jimmy? Why was Lightning tied up to the back if Jimmy wasn't around? How long exactly had they been asleep? When Lou realized Kid was just as lost as she was, she turned to Cody; "What are you talkin' 'bout Cody?"

"Look what I found!" Cody extended them one of Jimmy's guns. "This!"

"Where'd he lose it?" Kid asked surprised.

"Right besides the corpse," Cody said bitterly.

Both Kid and Lou had to sit down.

 

Jimmy moaned as a boot contacted with his ribs. He was lying face down in a pile of hay. He had no idea how he had gotten there and where this hay was located.

"Wake up, sonny!"

The boot was inserted under him and made him roll around. Hovering over him was a man with long hair and a beard. It took Jimmy only half a second to recognize him. He was the man on the poster. Jimmy knew that he'd better not let on that he recognized the man or he'd be shot dead immediately. Obviously the man wanted something from him or he wouldn't have left him alive this long to begin with.

"I was afraid you were gonna die on me, you just can't do that yet. You're gonna make me a hero, son, and have all the people in Sweetwater give a fair collect to my brother. A collect that will end up in my pocket." The man laughed so hard he had to bend himself double. "Then sonny, you'll be hung coz' I'm gonna witness you kill the good Pastor and take all the money he's got hidden somewhere in that grand ol' house of his."

Jimmy felt a cold shrill run down his spine. What kind of man was this to coldly premeditate his own brother's killing? He looked at the man with disgust. The man noticed and kicked him again. "Oh, don't you be eyein' me sonny, the folks in Sweetwater will have you hang when they find out what you did to that girl. And I'm gonna be their hero when I finally hunt you down and turn you in."

The man turned and walked out. Jimmy finally regained enough sense to look around. It was a tiny shack with only dirt for a floor. There was no window, but the roof was partly blown off, letting the moonshine in. Jimmy moved uneasily to feel the ropes around his arms and legs effectively stop him. The gag in his mouth made it hard to breathe. He laid back and his mind started desperately to search for a way out of this mess. If he would have had any idea about how he got here in the first place it would be easier. Last thing he remembered was leaving Kid and Lou besides the trail. Where had he gone to after that? The ache in his body made him moan and fight the darkness that was threatening to take over, scrambling up his mind. He stared at the moon and tried to keep himself awake, but the pain blurred his mind. The last thing he saw before he sank back into darkness was the clouds starting to cover the moon.

 

They were staring at the dead girl on the buckboard. She was badly beaten up, Lou recognized the girl as one of the more quiet ones at the True believers. She had kept mostly to herself, working the garden patch. Lou felt nauseated at the sight of her, she barely knew the girl, but the sight of her made her knees wobble.

"Cody, I'm tellin' you no way Jimmy did this!" Kid said with a shrug of disgust at the sight.

"So you mean he just happened to drop his gun at the scene?" Cody remarked sarcastically.

"Did you even bother to look for signs?" Kid wheezed at Cody, "didn't it bother you that Jimmy wasn't even around? He has no horse, did he go for a walk after killing this girl? Cody, it's Jimmy we're talking about, the one that you've shared a bunkhouse with for a long time!"

Cody looked insecure for a moment, then he buried his eyes into Kid's. "I've heard that this can happen, a man can go completely mad all of a sudden!"

"Like you have just now?" Kid asked sarcastically.

Lou had to place herself in between the two. "Boys! We better get this girl to Sweetwater, Teaspoon'll know what to do!"

"I'll go get him," Cody nodded, "you two take the buckboard to town, meet you at the Marshal's office."

Kid threw a glance at the lump on the buckboard, hating the idea of leaving it like this. He felt he should go out to look for Jimmy right away. Peering at Lou, he tried to come up with an excuse to get her to go by herself while he went back to look at the crime scene.

Lou grabbed his arm hard and hissed at him; "Don't even think about it Kid, you're comin' with me if I so have to grab you by your nose!"

 

 

"Teaspoooooon!"

The holler sounded frantic, both Rachel and Teaspoon jumped to their feet, both glancing at each other, fearing the worst. Cody stumbled into the the bunkhouse, tripping over the threshold in his hurry. "Oh Teaspoon, Jimmy's gone completely insane, he killed a girl!"

Rachel grabbed the boy's arm firmly: "Billy, sit down, let me see, did you fall off your horse?" She was examining his head before he could answer, shoving his hat off, she felt for the bump that caused his erratic behavior. Not finding any, she cast her eye on Teaspoon standing at the table with his mouth open.

"Billy," Rachel said again, seating him on the bench, "can you see straight?"

"Rachel, I swear, I went out to look for them and then I heard this shot and when I got there I saw this girl an' she was all beaten up an' bloody an' then there was all this blood on the dress and I saw it was Mamie an' she had been killed and Jimmy's gun was lying right there by her side an' it was all bloody too an' then I met Kid an' Lou besides the trail an' they took the buckboard to town an' I came to get you, Teaspoon, coz' Jimmy's killed Mamie!"

"Whoa son!" Teaspoon raised his hand to stop the flow of words coming out of Cody, words that surely made it look like he had come tumbling rather hard from the horse's back. "Son, take it from the start and very slowly!"

"I went towards the True Believers homestead and heard this shot! Teaspoon you gotta come, Kid and Lou are takin' the buckboard into town, you gotta do something!"

"You found Lou? Is she alright?" Rachel asked, holding her breath, "where has she been all this time?"

"I don't know, they where just sitting there, right besides the trail!"

"Who, Cody?" Teaspoon interjected.

"Kid and Lou, I tell you, ain't you listening?" Cody stood up and waved his arms around, not believing the questions that were directed at him, didn't they understand they needed to get going?

"Kid and Lou?" Rachel asked incredulously, "what were they doing out there?"

"Looked like they were sleeping, I don't know!"

Rachel threw a glance at Teaspoon, sadly shaking her head, either Cody had fallen asleep himself and had a nightmare or he'd bumped his head, there was no other explanation.   
Teaspoon rolled his eyes in her direction, telling her he agreed.

"Jimmy beat the Kid up! I tell you he's gone mad. Kid looked like he had been hauled behind horses and Lou didn't look that much better. Her dress was torn and all!"

"Dress?" Teaspoon asked, "what would Lou do out in the woods with a dress on?"

"I don't know Teaspoon, I don't care! Mamie is dead! Ain't you listening, I found Jimmy's gun right besides her!"

"And where is Jimmy?" Rachel tried.

"He's gone, Rachel, long gone. Kid and him found Lou on the trail and then he left them and shot Mamie. Now he's gone and we gotta find him!"

Teaspoon turned to Rachel and whispered; "I think I gotta go with Cody and show him he's wrong. Maybe he'll realize it when there's nobody at the Marshal's office. He ain't letting up!"

"I'm coming with you Teaspoon, I'm starting to worry he ain't talkin' crazy after all!"

 

 

"See! Nobody's here," Rachel pointed out as they reached the office, "Cody, I think you outta see the Do..." Her voice trailed off as the sound of a buckboard broke the stillness of the night.

"See," Cody muttered, "I told you they'd be here."

Rachel didn't hear him, she awkwardly climbed off her horse, cursing her skirt. Lou was sitting besides the Kid, she couldn't see her clearly yet, and she needed to see if she was alright.

"Lou!" She hollered as she ran and the girl on the buckboard raised a hand to wave at her. Rachel felt tears spring to her eyes at the sight of her. At least she was alive. And now Rachel had a chance to talk her into staying with them.

Not even glancing at the Kid, she opened her arms to the girl that had been gone. She limped heavily as she stepped down from the buckboard, her face had scratches and she was trembling under Kid's coat.

"Where were ya?" Rachel sobbed hugging the girl, "I was so worried, don't ever run out on us like that again! Ya hear?" Rubbing the girl's arms to get some warmth in her, she turned around at Teaspoon exclamation of disgust. He was looking into the buckboard. Rachel took a step closer and peeked in. Everything Cody had said was true, the girl was an awful sight. "Oh God," Rachel let out. Looking at Cody and Teaspoon staring down at the girl she turned her eyes away, afraid to think that the girl might have been Lou. Feeling the girl shiver in her hold, she pushed her onwards, holding her arm and steering her towards the Doc's office. She'd have to wake the old man up. "Lou, honey, come with me, let the boys take care of this, you need to see the Doc."

"But..."

"No buts Lou, the boys will take care of it all." With a firm hold of the girl's shoulders she steered the struggling Lou to the next building. Rachel felt she had to sit down.

 

Teaspoon looked at the rider still sitting on the buckboard; "what happened Kid?"

Kid shook his head; "Jimmy didn't do it Teaspoon."

"Nobody said he did, son, just tell me what happened!"

Kid took a deep breath before he spilled the beans, telling Teaspoon everything about the poster and the ride out to the homestead, Lou coming running towards them and telling them about the pastor's advancements towards her. How Jimmy then had decided to go get Lightning himself and probably tried to confront the man.

Teaspoon listened carefully, when Kid was trough explaining he nodded and looked down on the still girl. "What happened to your face, Kid?"

"Jimmy went insane Teaspoon, I swear he did this!" Cody wheezed, "just look at what he did to the Kid!"

"I fell," Kid said, glaring at Cody. "Teaspoon can I borrow your horse? There's something I need to do."

"Sure Kid," Teaspoon said absentmindedly, looking at the girl, trying to fit the pieces together.

Cody watched as Kid climbed down from the buckboard, he could barely walk but he still crawled himself up on the horse's back. "Where the h..are you goin' Kid?" Cody asked, "do you know where Jimmy is?"

"I have no idea Cody, but I intend to find out!" He reined the horse around and kicked it into a trot.

"Remember he's a murderer!" Cody cried out after him. Kid turned back and smirked at him. Lou stepped out of the office and yelled at the Kid to get down from the horse. Limping towards the pair, she cursed and reached for the horse's reins. "Where ya goin' you fool?"

"Lou, I gotta go see if I can find Jimmy, he can't have gotten far, he ain't even got a horse!"

"Not with that nose you ain't!" Lou growled and hung on to the rein. The horse stepped sideways in fear.

"Now hold it right there, Kid!" Rachel ran down from the porch, finally having heard Lou's story there was no way she'd let the Kid ride out again. If the face was as bad as Lou had told her, he needed tending to. With mighty steps she ran to the horse to help Lou get the Kid down. Kid tried desperately to get away. When Rachel stepped in front of the horse and waved her arms, the animal had had enough of confusion around it. It rose to its hindlegs just as Rachel grabbed Kid's shirtfront. Lou grimaced at the sound of Kid's nose thumping into the horse's neck. Kid came tumbling down and fell to the ground at Rachel's feet. First he was dead silent and Rachel knelt to help him up. He angrily shoved her away, rising to his knees with his head down, while moaning pitifully. Then he let out a couple of words that had Lou blush. She had no idea the Kid knew all these profanities.

"Come on Kid," Lou begged, tentatively tugging at his collar. When he looked up at her she saw blood running again and Kid looked about ready to faint. "Or maybe you should lie down," she suggested at the sight of him. Kid held a hand over the nose while he slowly eased himself up on his feet.

"Just don't touch the nose, no-one touch the goddamn nose!" He wheezed as he got up, swaying on his feet, his eyes rolling in the sockets.

"No Kid, I promise I won't touch your nose," Lou promised. Reaching out for him, she steered him to the Doc. She didn't have the heart to tell him Doc would probably go probing it. And she knew he didn't have the lightest of hands.

"Haven't I heard that before," Kid stuttered angrily, clearly in pain. Lou was dragging him up the steps into the Doc's. Rachel staying behind, looking preoccupied, ready to catch him if he was to fall.

Doc opened the door to let them in. Glancing at the Kid, he took the young man by his shoulders, leading him inside: "Gotta do something about that nose, son. That looks painful!"

Lou found it safer to close the door behind them and stay out.


	14. Chapter 14

Jimmy woke by soft hands washing his face with a damp cloth. Groaning he opened his right eye, the left was aching violently and refusing to obey his orders. A girl was washing his face, looking worriedly at him as he moaned. Blinking in surprise, he recognized Lindsay. Before he could ask what she was doing here she put a finger to her lips, signing for him to keep quiet. Then she raised her hands and showed him that they were was loosely tied together. Jimmy moaned anew. The man had gotten another hostage, what was this all about?

"Lindsay, did he hurt you?" Jimmy whispered.

The girl looked behind her shoulder before she leaned in to whisper in his ear. "No, he took me to care for you, said he'd let me live if I tended to you. Don't make any trouble or he'll kill us both. I'll get us away somehow."

"Where are we?"

"Hush!" Lindsay threw another scared glance over her shoulder, "I don't know, I was blindfolded and tied up. He took me as I went to check on the horses. We rode for at least half an hour, that's all I know."

"Then they'll start lookin' for you?"

"Of course they will," Lindsay whispered, "just keep still, you need to rest, that eye looks dreadful. He's right outside keepin' watch. Please don't try anything or he'll kill us both!" Her tear-filled eyes were begging him. He nodded and laid back. If the girl had gone missing they'd look for her. He groaned thinking about Kid and Lou, he hoped they had survived the night. If Kid felt half as bad as he did, he wouldn't be walking to Sweetwater, neither would Lou with that knee of hers. They'd start looking for them too. And when they'd find Kid and Lou they'd know something was wrong. He just wished they'd be here in time. Lying tied up without the possibility to do a thing was the worst kind of situation one could find oneself in. And Jimmy had no other option right now, there was an other life at stake here and not only his own. That made the whole ordeal so much harsher. He wriggled his toes, wondering why somebody had taken his shoes?

 

Teaspoon steeled himself as Cody and the Pastor rode up. He hated telling people about loved ones having died. A brutal killing only worsened the case. The Pastor was pale as he stepped down from the carriage and steered weary steps in Teaspoon's direction. Teaspoon steeled himself to spill the beans when the Pastor raised his hand to stop him.

The Pastor already knew about the girl, seemed there was a witness to the killing. Teaspoon still couldn't believe Jimmy was behind it all. But what was there to say if Lindsay had seen it all happen?

"How is she?" Teaspoon asked, referring to the girl that had locked herself inside the Pastors study and refused to come out. Only communicating through a locked door.

"Scared to death," Cody remarked bitterly. "We have to gather a posse, Teaspoon. Just because it's Jimmy we just can't let him go."

Teaspoon shot the blond rider a warning glance. "First I wanna hear the story, what were the girls doing out in the middle of the night?"

The Pastor looked down on his shoes. Clearing his throat he peeked under his brow at Teaspoon before answering. "Went to the outhouse," he said in a low voice.

Teaspoon felt like he had asked about something indecent. "I see," he mumbled.

"Then they heard a horse come towards them and they thought one had escaped so they went to check it out. Mamie was running and Lindsay followed. The she stumbled and fell and was left behind. She heard a man holler and she got so scared she hid in the grass. She says the man smacked Mamie around and did even worse things to her. Lindsay says she was so scared she couldn't move. Then there was a shot and Jimmy came running laughing insanely. He passed by real close and then he disappeared in the woods. Lindsay ran to hide herself in the barn. There's where Cynthia found her this morning, trembling and sobbing. She wouldn't let anybody touch her, she was hysterical. One of the girls finally succeeded to calm her down. But not before she had locked herself in the study. She won't let anybody in."

Teaspoon listened carefully to Cody's explanation. It could probably have happened just like the girls said. It seemed plausible, only thing was that the man accused was Jimmy and that seemed everything but right. If he was half as beat up as the Kid was, he wouldn't have been running. And the Jimmy he knew would not have left his gun behind. It was just to obvious, it had to be an entrapment. But who was after Jimmy and why? Who was involved and why?

"Seen any strangers around the place," he asked the Pastor.

"No," the man sadly shook his head, "I just can't believe it was James, he was around the place helping us. Doesn't seem right, I can't believe it was him."

"Lindsay saw him," Cody pointed out, "and I found the gun! He's..was my friend, I don't wanna believe it either but what about the proof. Teaspoon, the longer we wait, the further he'll get away!"

Teaspoon looked at the young man standing aside him. He obviously was convinced his friend was a murderer, a man that violated women and then shot them, leaving his gun behind. In Teaspoon's eyes it was just too obvious, his years as a Texas Ranger had thought him not to take anything at face value. At least not when the evidence seemed to jump at you. In Teaspoon's experience, that always meant there was more to the ordeal than what met the eye. But the people in the town had started talking. Having gotten wind of what happened it only took the good folks of Sweetwater half a second to condemn James Butler Hickok for murder. The trial had been short, in everybody's mind there was only one possibility. A sweet girl said Jimmy was the murderer so that was the case, he was to be hung. He had already had several offers of eager executioners.

"What do you intend to do Marshal?" The Pastor looked at him.

"I've sent Buck out to look for signs, when he's back we'll know in what direction Jimmy went and if there were more men around. I intend to wait for him and find out everything I can before I go shooting my mouth off to who did what."

"Buck?" Pastor Allen looked at Teaspoon, "your deputy?"

"The best tracker this town has to offer," Teaspoon informed him.

"He's half Kiowa," Cody said, "he can find the track of a rattler after a week of heavy rain."

"A half-breed?" Pastor Allen whispered, "I don't think that's suitable, I mean he'll be searching the homestead and the girls..." His voice trailed off at Teaspoon's bewildered stare.

"Buck's alright," Cody comforted the man, "he won't do anything to the girls. He ain't like the rest of..."

Teaspoons disgusted smirk cut him short. Then the older man let his head sink, he couldn't blame Cody, the boy was so young and innocent, he hadn't had the time to see everything Teaspoon had. He wished he would never have to either. Least of all he wanted him to see his friend lynched by the townsfolk, only to find out he was innocent. But that was unmistakably the course the events were taking. And the Pastor wasn't helping anybody with his obvious prejudice, a prejudice he shared with so many. When that kind of words came out of a man of the Church it always saddened Teaspoon, and now Cody seemed under the man's spell too.

"There's another girl missing," Pastor Allen said in a trembling voice, "and it's all my fault, I wasn't thinking."

"Who?" Teaspoon asked.

"Louise, she came to us just three days ago and then yesterday I did something very stupid and she ran away. Jumped a window in fact. I've been out looking for her but there's no sign of her."

Teaspoon leaned in on the man, grateful he had brought up the issue, but still surprised he had. If the Pastor had made advancements against the girl he'd better have a darn good explanation or he'd be put into the cell straight away. "What happened?"

"Nobody told me she had been violated, I would never have done what I did if I knew! I thought she was running away from her violent beau!"

Teaspoon's eyes narrowed, what was this man talking about, was he really talking about their Lou?

"She was so tired, I could tell. Then she went to fold the linen and I offered her to rest in my study. The girls often go in there because it's kind of an unwritten rule that if you're in there you should be left alone. Louise had been working all day, everything was new to her and she needed some time to herself so I offered to show her my study. She must have thought I had other plans because she threw herself out of the window. I would have acted different if I'd know she'd been violated. I had no idea. Now she's probably walking around on the plains, scared to death. Marshal, you've gotta find her! I'll talk to her and try to make her understand I acted the way I acted because I had no clue, now that I know she won't have to fear me making that mistake again."

Teaspoon did not know what to tell the man. Violent beau? Assaults? He desperately needed to have a talk with both Lou and the Kid. What was going around at the waystation? He rose to put a comforting hand on the pastor's shoulder, having the feeling the man was being honest he needed to calm him. His Louise was safe. "We found the girl, she's resting. I'll talk to her and sort things out."

"Don't let that violent man near her again, Marshal, please help her! I don't know who he is, but you, Billy, ought to know. She said not to tell you she was there because you'd force her to marry this man. Billy, don't do it, keep her away from him!"

Both Cody and Teaspoon glanced bewildered at each other, who was this man talking about. What on earth had Lou told the pastor. And why?

 

 

Ike softly shook Lou's shoulder, the girl was lying in the house, covered with blankets so only her nose was visible. She stirred and moved under the blankets. Ike drew the blanket from her face. Lou blinked and looked confused.

How are you? Ike signed.

"Oh God!" Lou rose to a sitting position, "you find Jimmy?"

No, Ike signed, Buck's just returned but Noah's still out looking for tracks. We will know where to look as he returns. Rachel sent me to wake you up because it's time for dinner.

"Dinner?" Lou moaned, "how long have I been asleep?"

Had a though night didn't you? Ike smiled at her, Teaspoon told me.

"Yeah," Lou confirmed wearily, "guess t'was."

Glad you're back. Ike hugged her. It wouldn't have been the same without you.

Lou leaned her head on Ike's broad shoulder, sighing in contentment. Yes, this was without doubt 'home'. Her eyes fell on a lump on the couch. "We better wake the Kid." She smiled back at Ike as she looked at his happy face.

Rachel told me to stay clear of him. Says he wasn't too happy last night. Ike grinned even wider.

Lou chuckled at the thought. Kid had been beyond furious when he stepped out of the Doc's office. Even Teaspoon had stayed clear of him. He had looked ready to kill anybody that got less than five feet away from him. Sitting on the buckboard going home, Lou had heard him curse the Doc, Jimmy and probably even the rest of the world, no doubt including her. His nose filled with cotton made it difficult to make the words out, but the underlying meaning was clear as daylight. Casting murdering glances at both her and Rachel he had muttered angrily as they forced him inside the house. When Rachel informed him about the Doc's orders to put a cold towel on the sore part he looked ready to draw on them. It took Teaspoon and Cody to hold him down.

"I'll wake him up," Lou said and threw her legs over the side of the bed.

I better get Rachel, Ike signed with a smirk. Teaspoon went and picked up your clothes this morning. He pointed to the chair where her old Pony Express outfit laid nicely folded. I'll keep Cody from finishing off dinner before you get there, Ike grinned at her before he vanished out the door.

"Thanks Ike." She felt sore all over as she rose to get into the familiar clothes. It felt good to be one of the boys again. The door opened and Rachel stepped in. "You okay, Lou?"

"I'm fine," Lou assured the housekeeper, "it's nice to be back home."

"Maybe you won't be sayin' that when this one gets up," Rachel grinned and leaned in over the Kid. "Ya think it's safe to wake him up?"

"Just don't touch his nose," Lou chuckled.

"You wanna do the honors? I don't think he'll be as mad at you."

Lou threw an incredulous glance in Rachel's direction before she extended a hand to Kid's shoulder. "Kid, wake up!" There was no reaction whatsoever. Lou shook his shoulder slightly, "Kid, it's dinner time, you gotta be hungry!" The response was a slight moan. "Kid, it's time to get up!" He opened two bloodshot eyes and frowned. The face he made had him whining. "You better get up Kid, it's late already. Gotta eat something! Oh God, Kid you look awful." As Kid lowered the quilt from his face Lou cringed at the sight of his nose.

Kid shot her an irritated glance.

"You can rest after dinner," Rachel promised him.

"Djimmy?" Kid snorted and Lou and Rachel dared not look at each other for the fear of falling into hysterical giggle at the sound of his voice.

"Noah is out looking for him, don't worry 'bout that right now," Rachel told him and tried to turn his face to have a better look at him. Kid moved away from her like she was a rattler ready to attach. "Kid, stay still, I just wanna see...."

"Hjust ddontt tutsh de ouse," Kid grunted.

The two at his side giggled helplessly and Kid glared. He didn't find this hilarious at all. He watched Lou trying to cover her merriment. "Itts dnot vunny!"

"Tell you what Kid, I'll let you choose. Who do you want to do it, me or Lou?" With a broad grin Rachel held the wet towel up in the air.

"Nobboddy fthank yu!" Kid said as he rose to a sitting position, moaning as the rest of his body seemed just as sore as the nose. "I ddo ith myseff."

Lou took the wet towel from Rachel's hand; "Kid, I'd never forget myself if you ended up with a crooked nose, what would the girls say?"

"Be nice, or I'll go get Cody and Teaspoon," Rachel teased.

"They won't be as careful as I will," Lou informed him.

Kid looked doubtfully at the girl standing at his side, an amused smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. His eyes were begging her to leave his nose alone. Lou smiled comfortingly at him. "It'll just hurt a little bit," she promised as she moved the towel to his nose.

Kid's hand stopped her. "Yor reelly endjoyin thizz ent'ya?"

"Oh, this is just the beginning Kid, Doc says the cotton inside your nose has to be changed tomorrow. That might hurt."

Kid fell back onto the bed.


	15. Chapter 15

Teaspoon watched the group dropping in for dinner. When the two from the house arrived he squinted his eyes, he would have to talk to them both and sort this mess out. Pastor Allen's tale still puzzled him, just as much as Buck's did. Unusually quiet the riders seated themselves around the table. Ike was still discussing the matter with Buck, his hands flew violently around, not able to take in what Buck had told him.

"Boys" Teaspoon started, "and girls" he acknowledged in Rachel's and Lou's direction. "We have a problem!"

All the heads turned to him. Clearing his throat he started to tell them, hoping to get help from Buck if he remembered wrong. "Jimmy was the only man at the scene, only his footprints were found."

Kid shook his head angrily and Teaspoon shot him a warning glance.

"Buck says there's signs of a violent struggle not far from where the buckboard was found. There was blood on the grass too, no footprints though."

Lou buried her eyes into Teaspoon's. Oh he would get back to her alright, with a stern glance in her direction he warned her to stay silent while he told them what he knew, there'd be a lot of discussing later.

"Jimmy did it, Teaspoon. Just spit it out and let's go lookin' for'im!" Cody let out ready to jump from the table and start the chase.

"Shod ub!" Kid growled, "he'zz bein fhjemed."

"He's bein what?" Teaspoon had to ask, the rider was not making very much sense with all that cotton up his nose.

"Framed," Lou interpreted, "Kid's right, we were sitting there with him, he was only going to get Lightning for me. He did not have time to do all this, and it's Jimmy, he wouldn't have done it anyway!"

Cody rose to his feet. "You're both blinded by your devotion to Jimmy, you can't see straight 'coz he's your friend. The signs are all there, his footsteps are all over the place and his only. Open your eyes you fools! He did it and we gotta find him."

Teaspoon waved his hand in a sign for Cody to sit down again. "Son, Noah is already out looking but there's more to the story!"

"More than what? Lindsay saw him do it! What kind of proof do you need other than that? Are you gonna let him go just because he's Jimmy? I didn't believe you were that kind of a man Teaspoon. Justice should be served and everyone should be equal under the law. Friend or enemy. And even family Teaspoon, even thou' it's hard to believe that Jimmy did it there's still the proofs. You just can't ignore them 'cause it's Jimmy. That just ain't right."

"That's enough son," Teaspoon raised his voice and forced the rider to sit back down, "I told you there's more to this than meets the eye! There was no other footsteps but there was tracks of another horse and those tracks lead directly in the True Believers direction. And they stopped there, right on the path to the main house."

The silence that grew from the sentence spoken was chilling. Cody let his eyes dart from Teaspoon to Buck. Buck wouldn't meet with his eyes and Teaspoon shook his head in denial at Cody's unspoken question. Teaspoon did believe the Pastor was in on it, he believed more in Jimmy than in the Pastor. Even though the evidence pointed in one direction only. Cody turned his face to Kid. Kid stared back at him and he could read plain as a day what he was thinking. What he had been thinking from the first day. Lou peered at him and looked like she wanted to say something but then she obviously regretted it and looked away. Cody had all the proof he needed, they were going to blame the Pastor for the murder and let the real murderer go, just because he was Jimmy. Family or not, this was not right, bonds should not stand in the way of justice, there was no way he could be a part of this. His face got whiter and he rose to his feet. "I will ever forget you if you're implying that the Pastor had anything to do with this! I know you don't like him, just because you don't understand him. Well I do and I believe in him, if you think he's the murderer and not Jimmy I really don't know what to say. Except that maybe...maybe I've just lost my family!"

With that he turned and walked out leaving the stunned group behind to stare at the door that was slammed shut.

"Cody!" Rachel hollered but the rider didn't look back. Teaspoon flung himself out the door only to be met by the dustcloud Cody's horse stirred up. They all heard the sound of hooves thundering away.

"Don't worry Rachel," Teaspoon comforted the housekeeper, "he'll be back. Let'm cool off for a while, he'll be back. He won't be able to resist your fine cookin' Rachel."

The riders around the table looked at each other, each forming a plan in their heads.

 

 

Noah was keeping the house under surveillance. From the rise he had a fairly good view over what was happening. But the place seemed quiet and his legs were numbing from the long wait. Soon it would be dark and he'd have to get closer to watch who was coming and leaving. He blinked in surprise as Cody came storming in onto the yard. His fellow bunkmate threw himself off the horse and stalked up to the main entrance. A girl took the horse's reins and walked away.

Teaspoon had said nothing about sending Cody in. What was going on and why did Cody seem so upset? Noah rose to get closer to the house. Shifting his eyes to search for a safe way down, his eyes fell on a pair of shoes. Getting closer he saw the dark stains on the leather, dried blood was covering the torn leather. Noah sank to his knees. Teaspoon had been right, there was definitely something strange going on. The size of the shoes indicated a large man and the condition indicated that they had been worn a very long time. Still, they weren't torn enough to just be thrown away. Somehow Noah couldn't picture the Pastor in these shoes. And they couldn't have been lying here long, they were definitely thrown away just a day or so ago. There was another man around here somewhere. Maybe the caretaker, Peters, or a passer by had left the shoes? Noah gathered visual cues to remember where he hid the shoes, they would more than likely be used as evidence. Now he just had to find the man with new shoes, or with Jimmy's shoes! The thought hit him and he raised his head to look a the homestead with renewed interest. A girl crawled in through an open window. Noah stared at the unusual way of getting into the house. And from where had this girl popped up? Finally Noah knew where to look, that now closed window was another clue that had to be kept under surveillance. The alluring scent of a home cooked meal lingered in the air as he got closer, Noah groaned, this would be a long night.

 

 

"Kid, Lou! Would the two of you step outside with me, I need to talk to you." Teaspoon stood on the porch, still looking in the direction Cody had vanished. The two riders emerged at his side, casting wondering glances at him. Lou was hoping Teaspoon would send her out after Cody. But looking at Teaspoon's stern face, it did not seem likely. Lou cast a bewildered eye on the Kid for clarification to Teaspoon's possible intentions, but Kid looked just as out of it as she felt herself. Teaspoon remain staring after Cody; "Talked to the preacher man today Lou, he said a couple of things that got me wonderin'?"

"Like what?" Lou wrinkled her brow in confusion.

"Like the way you reacted seemed to him like you had been...hmmm..eh...forced to do something you didn't want to do." He turned around to face the Kid. "Did something happen between the two of you that shouldn't have?"

Kid paled considerably and stepped backwards.

Lou looked down on her feet and closed her eyes. She felt hot and cold shivers run through her body.

"Did you force her to be intimate with you, Kid?" Teaspoon quietly asked the white faced boy at his side, burying his eyes into his, demanding the truth. He wasn't sure what he'd do to the Kid if it proved to be true. Teaspoon couldn't believe that he had misread the boy so completely, was the Kid able to do a thing like that? Was there a cruelty under that gentle appearance that had them all fooled? What the hell was going on around the bunkhouse and how come he'd never seen anything of it? Heck, Teaspoon thought to himself, I never saw that Lou was a girl neither until I was forced to face the facts. Maybe I just choose to see things the way I want to?

The boy stared steadily back at him, at a loss for words. Teaspoon read shock, hurt and bewilderment in the eyes that met his without blinking. But underneath the bewilderment he saw anger rising. Then Kid turned his eyes to the girl at his side, who was standing very still, looking down on her shoes. "Lluu?" Kid asked, his voice trembling.

"I lied," Lou said to her shoes. Not daring to look up at the two of them, fearing they would read her face and get to know too much. She felt the Kid's stare penetrate her skin, like a burning accusation. But she did not dare meet it. She didn't know what those eyes would tell her.

"So the violent beau was all a lie Lou? Because if the Kid did..."

Lou heard Kid turn on his heels and walk away. She lifted her face and followed his stride. He was mad alright. "No Teaspoon, hearing all these girls talk I think I kinda got forced to come up with a similar story myself." Lou felt bad for the continuing lying, but at least this was only half a lie.

"Pastor Allen says he never intended to do anything to you, he told me that if he'd known you'd react the way you did he would never had asked you."

Lou looked back to the tip of her shoes. Closing her eyes she went trough what had happened again. Was she wrong, had she overreacted? Remembering her reaction to the Kid's hand on her shoulder, she shrugged. She wasn't sure, not absolutely anyhow. She just couldn't tell. "Like I said Teaspoon, all those girls and all those stories kinda got to me."

"Lou, you don't need to fear, coz' if the Kid..."

"Teaspoon, it wasn't the Kid!" She almost bit her tongue off at her mistake. With a glance at Teaspoon she hurried to add, "it wasn't his fault, I made it all up!"

Kid emerged from the barn, ready to mount Katy. "Oh God." Lou moaned. "Here he goes again."

Teaspoon turned to see the rider on his way. Calmly he drew his gun and shot up into the air. "Kid, one more step and your nose'll be next. Hold it right there, young man!"

Teaspoon stalked over to the pair. "Stay off that horse, Kid!"

Lou followed suit, limping over the yard, she gritted her teeth at his stubbornness, to her relief he was so sore he didn't jump straight onto Katy and rode away. He tried to but the grimace on his face told her Jimmy's and his fight might have been a blessing in disguise. With a moan he gave up the struggle as they arrived. Teaspoon was holding Katy's reins and Kid's shirt. "Now son, you know I had to ask." The young man still struggled against the hold on his shirt, Teaspoon lowered his voice into an apology; "Kid, you know I had to ask."

Forcing the young man to look into his eyes and read his heartfelt apology had the Kid finally nod and stop his struggle. Teaspoon let go of him and a shaky peace between the two seemed restored. The older man awkwardly patted the younger man's shoulder and Kid shrugged. Then he raised his head and looked at the man in earnest; "Ndid ya jeelly...."

"Naw Kid, but with everything that's been goin' on...I dunno what to think any longer, everythin' seems to spin outta control right now. I'm sorry, son."

Lou limped to Kid's side. "I just made it up to fit in Kid, it had nothing to do with you! I'm sorry." Kid looked at her, she could still read the shock and bewilderment in his eyes as he turned to her. She knew he needed to get away, he always rode out when things got to him. But this time she wouldn't let him. The anger and sorrow in his eyes made her take a hold of his arm. "Kid, I had to!"

Teaspoon walked away with Katy, leading the horse back to the barn. Looking over his shoulder, he shook his head at the two. It had started out so fine, he would have bet a considerable sum on the two of them getting hitched some day. Now it didn't look like it would happen and he was truly disappointed.

"Kid," Lou repeated vehemently, "I'm sorry!"

Kid said nothing and Lou kept her hold on his arm. She had never thought that her lies would get back to the Kid in this manner. He was humiliated, she knew that. Maybe just as humiliated as she had been the day in the barn. "Come on Kid, let's get inside."

He followed her, dragging his feet. Lou glanced at him every now and then, he looked mortified. Before they reached the porch, he stopped and she turned to see what was up.

"Dhat hurrt nmore than de nouse, Lou." The look on his face was desolate and lost. Lou just had to smile sadly at his slur.

"I know Kid, I said I'm sorry."

"Ee thoo," Kid sighed. Lou didn't know why and she didn't bother to ask. He was hard enough to understand without the cotton in his nose. She knew that she had to use the towel again since Rachel was standing in the doorway holding it her hand. The puzzled look on the housekeeper's face telling Lou she might have heard too much. But she wouldn't, couldn't tell any more right now. Not ever if it was up to her. Some things were just too painful. But Kid had without even knowing helped her through so much of the fear and pain and she'd forever be thankful he had. Maybe someday she'd be able to tell him that. But right now she had to cause him pain once again. "Kid," Lou excused herself nodding in Rachel's direction. "I'm sorry but I have to.."

"De nouse," Kid moaned morosely and followed her in.

 

 

Noah's eyes were closing by themselves. He felt like he had been sitting on the same spot for about a week. The darkness and stillness around was making staying awake an endeavor. The light in the window was his only fixing point. He stared at it until it began to dance before his eyes. Blinking he tried to still it but as he looked back at it, it still moved. It took a moment before he understood it was being moved inside the room. It had been sitting in the window and now it was moved further back. Holding his breath he heard the window open. He stayed perfectly still, sensing something was about to happen made him wide awake in the blink of an eye. A leg came out the window, followed by a blue dress. Easing herself down the girl looked around as if suspecting somebody to be watching. Noah felt his heart jump in his chest. The girl looked around and started to walk towards him. Noah lowered his head and prayed he'd become invisible. She walked right past him while he held his breath. As the moon vanished behind thick clouds, he eased himself up to follow the girl. Maybe she was just going to check the horses, maybe she was going to the outhouse. But Noah knew there was something odd with the way the girl behaved. All the other girls stayed in groups of three or four. This one was wandering in the wood all by herself. In the woods where a brutal assault had happened only a day ago.

Soundlessly he followed the girl.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Co-written with Nesciri

Jimmy listened into the night, steps were coming towards the hut. He hoped it was Lindsay. He found it odd that she disappeared from time to time just to show up with food or water, tending to his aching limbs and sore eye. Then only to disappear and leave him alone in the hut. If he would know where he was at, he'd try to do something about the situation. But what if she was under the man's supervision, or worse, forced to entertain him? Jimmy shrugged at the thought, he knew he'd have to do something and fast, he was getting sick of laying here, tied up and gagged. It was night again, but this night was so much darker than the earlier one. The one when he had gotten himself into this darned mess to begin with. He still had no recollections of the events leading him here, none whatsoever. But they must be out looking for him right now, if not for him at least for Kid and Lou.

His head snapped to the direction of cracking twigs. Somebody was coming, and they were coming from the wrong direction. Lindsay always came from the other side. He marveled at the fact how acute his hearing had become now that he had nothing else to do than lie here and listen to the sounds. He wondered if the man had left him alone again as there was no other sound than the steps coming from the wrong direction. But then his attention was drawn to another sound of steps, steps he recognized immediately. Lindsay was coming again. But her steps stopped far away from the hut. Something was up, Jimmy could feel it in the air. He got clammy from the fear, not knowing what happened out there was getting to him.

He flinched as a shot rang out and somebody yelped in anguish. The sound of the gunshot severed the stillness of the night, the sharp sound painfully echoing its sharp intensity in Jimmy's ears. Then there was a sound of breaking wood and rustling of leaves. Jimmy closed his eyes and started working on the ropes again. The man must have killed Lindsay, and now there was nothing holding Jimmy back. He'd see to it that this man got his, he'd take him down with his bare hands if he had to. The door opened and a bright lantern was lit. The light blinded Jimmy.

"Sonny, I see you have friends, incredibly stupid friends, but friends all the same, huh," the man chuckled. Jimmy stilled himself and tried to look past the blinding light, he had to see the man's face, his voice was deep and vibrating, reminding him of pastor Allen. But this couldn't be him now, could it?

"He had to leave, forever, your friend that is. I'll see if you can get to his funeral." The man laughed. "Tell you what though, he fell right into the hole I've dug for my dear brother's assistant. A shame really but he had to go."

Jimmy moved towards the door as the man withdrew the light, he had to get to him, not caring that his hands still were tied. A quick rush and he could take the man down with just the force of his body.

"Hold it sonny, there's still the girl. You don't wanna have her die too, do you? Tomorrow is your great day, the posse's gonna be gathered and I'll lead them right to you before I let you loose. Then I'm gonna stand back and watch. With my aim on the girl. So just do as I tell you. You are a gentleman, ain't you, sonny?"

Jimmy fell back down. He tried to grasp what the man just had told him. What was going to happen tomorrow? What posse? But he quickly forgot about that as his mind returned to the other part of information he had received. The man had killed somebody else, probably one of his friends. Jimmy started to work the ropes frenetically, there was nothing else to do. While he struggled to get free, he asked forgiveness of each of the riders, one of his friends was lying in a hole in the ground outside and he wasn't able to help. Jimmy fought the paralyzing desperation as much as the ropes. In his desperate situation, he didn't even care that the man still stood in the doorway, glaring at him. Jimmy gritted his teeth as the man's soft chuckle reached his ears.

"You can try that, but it ain't gonna help you. Made those ropes myself. Even made one with a noose for tomorrow. Sleep tight now, sonny." The man closed the door, laughing harshly at his own wit. A soft moan of desperation escaped Jimmy.

 

Four riders feigned sleep in the bunkhouse. Noah should have been home and Ike would have been riding out to keep watch. The fact that Noah wasn't home had them all worried sick. Teaspoon and Rachel telling them to stay put upset them and the threat that they would all be discharged if they didn't, infuriated them. Maybe the two were right, they couldn't go swamping the homestead and cause ulterior suspicions if the Pastor was guilty. But something wasn't right. With eyes closed each and everyone of them lie listening to the others' breathing to try and assess if they were asleep or not. Buck was the first to carefully ease himself off his bunk, trying to keep it soundless, he held his breath as he did. Ike smiled in his bunk and realized his friend had the same idea he had, they'd find Jimmy and Noah.

Ike carefully crawled out of bed and in the dark he bumped into Buck. They struggled to get into their clothes before they eased themselves out the door. Outside they congratulated each other for getting out without waking the other two. With a grin Buck tapped Ike's shoulder, they'd be off unnoticed.

"Wait for me!" A voice wheezed from inside the bunkhouse, "can't find my left boot."

Buck looked like he wanted to cry as Lou's wheezing voice reached them. The heavier steps told them their currently unintelligible friend was up too. Buck sank down onto the steps.

If we run maybe they won't catch up? Ike signed hopefully.

"Jezz I whill," the one with the stuffed nose said coming out of the bunkhouse, "Luu ccan't ffind her shuu, et's ggo!"

"Hold on there pretty face," Lou snorted irritably, pushing herself past the Kid. Looking at the two boys in her way, she raised her eyebrows in a questioning face. "What are we waiting for?"

The moon was clouded again and Buck cleared his throat. "Huh, you see ...eh ...I don't think the two of you're in any kind of shape to come along."

"Buck!" Lou said in a laconic voice, "I'm fine, it's Kid you gotta tie down!"

"Mnee?" they heard from the dark, " I'm djust ffine, id's yor knjee dhad's..."

"Shut up Kid, and listen to yourself. I don't even understand you!"

"Am dnot blanning on doin' uch swettalk!"

Lou laughed bitterly; "Oh why not Kid, you're so good at it."

Ike and Buck turned and walked to the barn, there was no way to stop either of them, they knew that and they'd probably have to listen to a lot of bickering on the way to the True Believer's homestead. Ike rolled his eyes in desperation over the prospect of listening to his friends' debates the whole ride. Buck answered with a deep sigh.

The two behind them followed, both muttering at each other.

Ike grabbed Buck's arm. What if we gag them, he signed under Buck's nose.

 

The man returned promptly and unexpected. Taken by surprise Jimmy hardly put up a fight when the man blindfolded him. The man held the barrel of a rifle to his ribs and pushed him out of the shack. "Walk on sonny, there's been a slight change of plans. Too many people wandering around in these woods."

Jimmy grunted as he was pushed onwards, he wanted to scream as his bare feet were pierced by pine needles. His feet were tied together and Jimmy wondered if the man was taking him out to shoot him? He was stopped and pushed to stand face to a tree stem.

"Sonny, I'm gonna free your feet so you can walk. The girl will be right in front of you, she knows where we're goin'. Just don't try anything 'coz I've got a clear shot on the both of you. One of you steps out of line and it's good-bye. I don't have anything to lose right now so don't tempt your luck. I'm just tellin' you as a friendly warning." The man chuckled again.

His voice sent shrills down Jimmy's spine. Never had he felt so helpless before, tied up and gagged and with something over his head there was not a lot he could do. And still he knew he had to do something and soon. A rope was tied around his middle and fastened onto something in front of him. Like cattle, Jimmy thought bitterly, tied up for slaughterin'.

"Start walkin' sonny," the man wheezed behind him, "we're goin' to see my dear brother and get his money. He'll have to shoot you just before you shoot him. I'm sorry sonny, take a deep breath because these are your last moments on earth."

Jimmy knew the man wasn't kidding. His time was running out and he searched desperately for a solution. He'd find one but it had to happen soon. When they started walking Jimmy was so baffled he lost his concentration. There were not only three of them wandering in the dark woods, a fourth pair of feet was walking right alongside of them. Jimmy couldn't for figure out what was going on any longer. He decided to tag along, what other choice did he have?

 

Noah woke and found himself staring right into black dirt. Groaning he turned and stared up into a just slightly lighter night. Of course he had to fall into a hole in the ground! Feeling his side he realized the man had nicked him but he wouldn't be in any kind of danger. He wasn't bleeding anymore. He's still saw stars though. Extending his hands to find out what kind of a hole he was in, he touched a metal tube with his hand. A heavy shovel was laying right across him, he knew now what he had hit his head on. Sighing he started to get up, to his surprise his left foot wouldn't move. He felt no pain put he just couldn't get it to move. Kicking it, a sharp pain squeezed him as he contacted hard with the metal. The shovel had him trapped. Just as trapped as this hole had him. He could hear the man walk outside the hut and knew he'd be shot in an instance if he made too much noise.

He searched for his gun but knew he wouldn't find it, he had lost it when he fell. Noah cursed inwardly. How much could go wrong, what was the chances to avoid getting killed and then to find oneself trapped under a shovel in a hole in the ground? Without a gun and a madman pacing right besides. Noah fought the will to laugh hysterically. Staring up into the sky, he hoped the moon would get out from behind the clouds, he needed to see where to dig to get out from under the shovel soundlessly. He still waited for that when the sound of a voice carried through the night.

"Somebody just left," Buck whispered in the dark.

Noah couldn't believe his ears. How long had he been out? "Hey!" he hollered from the hole, not caring about anything else than getting out of wherever he was right now. If Buck was close enough for him to hear him, there couldn't be any danger, he pondered.

"God," Lou whispered and latched onto the Kid standing at her side, "what was that?"

"It's me!" Noah hollered and squeezed himself up in a sitting position, "come get me!"

"Ged 'im?" a strange voice said close to him, "whear iz hee?"

"I'm right here you fools!" Noah bellowed, "in the hole!"

Gratefully the moon decided to help them out. It was freed from the clouds' cover and lighted the plain with a bluish light. Noah gulped in fear as a face with a huge nose peeked in.

"Dnoah?" the face asked.

"Get me up from here!" Noah barked, recognizing the Kid. "I'm stuck under the shovel." Three more faces emerged over the edge. Soon Noah's foot was free and he was able to swing himself up from the hole.

Lou grabbed his arm. "You okay, Noah?"

Rubbing his head Noah nodded. "Gotta find my gun, I lost it when I fell."

"What happened?" Buck asked while they all crawled on the ground, feeling with their hands for the gun among the dry grass and the twigs.

"I followed this girl from the house. She got out using the window so I kind of gathered something was up. We walked for at least half an hour and it was pretty dark. Then she disappeared into the hut over here and I just stopped. Of course the moon had to light up the place in exactly that precise instance." Noah frowned at the memory. Ike handed him his gun. Noah nodded his appreciation.

"Go on!" Lou urged.

"Well, I was standing close to the hut and was not exactly aware of anything else. Then I saw something glimmer in the dark and I threw myself out of the range as somebody shot at me. Just happened to fall into this darned hole right here. After that I don't remember much, just woke up and found myself with my nose in the dirt." He had to smile at Kid's gulp. "I'm fine," he said "the bullet just braced me, but the man must have thought I was dead. Hit my head on that shovel and all went black, the shovel probably saved me before it trapped me," he added with a smirk.

You have any idea what was going on here? Ike signed in the moonlight.

"Somebody must have been in that hut coz' the girl was carrying a basket, like she was bringin' something."

Four pair of eyes turned to the hut. Buck slowly moved closer. The door was opened and with all the noise they had been making, it was unlikely that there was anybody in the hut, but just to be on the safe side, Buck drew his gun. Carefully he peeked around the door, scared of what he might find. When he saw that the hut was empty, he sighed with relief. He took a closer look on the floor before he returned to the others.

"There's nobody here, but it looks as if somebody has been held in there," he reported.

"Djimmy," Kid moaned and his shoulders sagged. "Vut whear de eck iz he dnow?"

"Is he all right?" Noah asked in Lou's direction, her former beau sounding awfully strange.

"He said; Jimmy, but where the heck is he now?" Lou interpreted patiently. "And I must say I'd like to know that myself."

"Going in that direction," Buck rose from where he had been examining the ground and pointed into the dark. "With company!"

"Well," Noah said as he rose to his feet and wiped his hands on his formerly white pants. "We better get goin' too."

"Let's leave the horses," Buck said.

"Why?" Lou whined, she didn't look forward to follow on foot.

"Because we can move more silently on foot and they're close," Buck told her. "Lou, maybe you should wait here?" By her wheezing sound Buck gathered she wouldn't. "The two of you stay behind," he warned the limping and staggering couple."Or your nose'll regret it," he clarified in Kid's direction.

Lou couldn't help but giggle. A stern glance from Buck reminded her it probably wasn't the most appropriate behavior right now. There were far more urgent things to handle right now, Jimmy for instance. She smiled apologetically in Buck's direction before she grabbed Kid's arm and dragged him along with her. The uncanny feeling that they had to find Jimmy and fast was confirmed as she met Kid's eyes in the pale moonlight.

There was no time to lose.


	17. Chapter 17

Jimmy was pushed up some stairs. He was still blindfolded but he sensed his long walk was over. He was inside a house and by the sounds of the footsteps echoing in it, it was large. The lighter pair of steps were still in front of him and he could hear Lindsay breathing shallowly and fast. The one up front walked with determined steps, sure of where she was going. The man behind him still had his rifle tucked up against his spine. A door was opened and the man behind him pushed the barrel harder to his back, sending Jimmy staggering forward.

"Kane?" A surprised voice rang out. The pastor must have been awakened and Jimmy finally knew where they were.

"Oh God!" the pastor let up, "it was you, I suspected as much. You had to come here too, you just had to ruin everything I've built here."

Jimmy was pushed onto a chair and the rifle was gone. Uneasily Jimmy moved his head, trying to get a sense of what the room looked like and if there was something to be done. His time was surely running out now and with every second that passed, Jimmy got more frantic for a solution. Hurling himself out of a window would be preferable to sitting her like a can on a fence, waiting to be shot. If he only could determine if, and where, there was a window.

"Don't move sonny, I still have you in perfect aim," the man growled, "one false move and you're gone. And with you these lovely girls!"

These girls, Jimmy thought, these girls? How did this other girl get involved? When, how and where had that happened?

"Kane, what do you want?" Pastor Allen asked in a trembling voice. "You can't ask anything more of me, I can't help you any longer. I helped you that one time and I shouldn't have. You promised you'd better yourself and instead you're getting more and more evil with every day that passes. There's nothing for you here, I can't help you any longer. Nobody can."

"Your money will help me bro, not you. You're gonna go get me all that money you've collected, then you'll meet your creator. Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"Kane, you won't get away with this, not this time. You're wanted, there's a prize on your head and I guess there's a lot of people that want you hung. Leave right now, I'm telling you, I can't help you any longer."

The man chuckled. "Dear brother, you won't be able to help me coz' you'll all be dead. I have to thank you for sending almost all the girls away, that helps me a lot."

"I know you Kane, I realized it must be you, I already told the Marshal tonight. He'll be hunting you down!"

"He'll find his murderer dead right at your side, seems you both managed to kill each other off. Nobody's gonna get me. Nobody has and nobody will. Ever. "

"Kane, you'll be punished, if not in this life at least you'll burn in hell."

Jimmy cringed at the bitterness in pastor Allen's voice. But he also sensed a resignation in the voice and he knew pastor Allen wouldn't give the man a fight. He'd fold. Jimmy wouldn't, he'd never fold in the face of evil, he'd go down fighting if he had to.

Kane snickered. "You're so gullible Paul, always was. Mother's little darling boy, she'll be turning in her grave when she sees what you've done."

"You're sick, Kane."

"But I'll be rich," the man laughed. "Get the money, she'll help you find it!"

Jimmy heard a gun cock and the sound of steps walking up to the reverend.

"Cynthia!" Pastor Allen sighed in despair. "What happened to you? Why are you in on this?"

"Oh, shut up you goody-two-shoes and get me the money," a female voice said and Jimmy's head was spinning. He didn't know what was happening anymore, and right now it felt like he didn't care either. It was too late. And he was tied up to a bundle. Lindsay sobbed hysterically at his side.

 

 

Four riders stood staring at the house in front of them. The tracks had lead them right to the True Believers homestead. One light was burning on the second floor. They all knew that's where they had to get. None of them knew how they'd get there without being seen or heard.

"The house is full of people, how did they get in there?" Lou asked amazed.

Kid threw her a glance; "I nbet yor fjend can ged in an' oud of de hause bhenever he ishes thoo!"

"My friend?" Lou hissed back, "just shut up Kid and do some thinkin' instead of whining. We gotta get inside an' see what's happenin? Who's in there and what's goin' on?"

"Yor fjend iz in dhere an' he'z holdin' Djimmy hostiz!" Kid pointed out with a superior snort.

Lou fought the will to place an elbow in his ribs. But seeing the snort he had produced was making him cringe in pain she smiled vindictively at him instead. That nose of his was doing her job just fine, punishing him every time he got out of line. Served him just right. Noah's brown eyes met hers, telling her he found them both amusing. Lou shot him a dirty glance to stop him from commenting it. The corners of Noah's mouth twitched and he turned to look at the main building of the homestead.

"Cody's in there too," Buck pointed out after having been reminded by Ike. "His horse is in the corral."

"Maybe he's holding Jimmy hostage," Noah remarked.

"But who are the other three?" Buck intervened. "Let's face it, we have no idea of what's happening and I really think we outta find out instead of standing here and debating at length who's holding whom hostage. We gotta get in there and see for ourselves! Lou, you've been inside the house, tell us what you know!"

"I think the light comes from Allen's bedroom," Lou started.

"Supjize supjize," Kid snarled.

Buck silenced him with a threatening glance. "How do you get there Lou?"

"First you walk into the foyer, the stairs are right in front of you when you get in. You have to pass the kitchen and the dining room though. But I doubt there will be anybody at this time of night."

The riders around her nodded, so far it seemed fine. No other lights seemed to be lit in the house, only the ones on the first floor.

"Then when you get upstairs the problems start, you have to pass a long hallway with girls sleepin' all around."

"There were not so many girls around last night," Noah said pensively, "maybe seven or so. The rest of them must have gone somewhere."

"O bbeen khilled," Kid muttered.

Nobody minded him this time as Lou continued her description of the house. "The Pastor's room is the last one in the hallway, right besides his study. We should be able to get there, if you stay real quiet while passing the bedrooms."

"Ow ccome djuo dnow where de Pasto'z joom iz?" Kid eyed her suspiciously.

Noah had to laugh at the two of them, at times they were hilarious. Kid's furious glance in his direction made him cover his mirth. But he couldn't help chuckling to himself, in the midst of danger and possible disaster they still had the energy to get on each others case. It was a match made in heaven alright. Noah watched with a wide grin as Lou's temper took over once again. She only got this hopping mad when it came to the Kid. Them breaking up had them constantly on each others case or in blatantly feigned disregard. Wonder why, Noah pondered with a sad smile as he watched Lou's murdering glance in Kid's direction. He wondered how long it would take them to realize that this constant fighting was just a substitute for being together. Fighting brought them closer; even feigning utter disregard meant constantly being aware of the other. So sad, Noah thought, why can't they seem to get that?

"Because he showed me around you fool!" Lou looked like she wanted to bite Kid's head off as she wheezed her answer in the young man's direction.

"Shure e did", Kid muttered.

Lou chose to ignore him completely this time. Instead she looked around at the other riders. Each of them nodded. They all gazed at each other for a while, not knowing what they were about to step into had them all wondering for a while. Not for themselves so much as for the ones inside the house and the possible danger they might put them into by interfering. This made all of them hesitate.

Then Ike decisively rose to his feet. Jimmy's inside and he's our friend. We have to do what we can.

"Lou you go first, you know the route!" Buck said as he rose to his feet.

"Ndo way," Kid protested, "shje ccan't..."

"Kid, you're really gettin' on my nerves here, one more sound outta you and you'll regret it." Lou had placed herself straight under the Kid's nose and was staring pointedly at it. Kid's eyes met hers in a silent staring contest.

Buck took her by her shoulders and steered her away. Noah chuckled at the face Kid made when he pushed him onwards. He was more confident in Lou than he was in the Kid right now. His friend looked awful and his walk seemed everything but steady. But maybe it was because he had to keep an eye on Lou while he tried to make believe he wasn't keeping her under surveillance at all. Whatever it was, it had the Kid stumbling and groaning. Lou would get them to that room and they'd out maneuver whatever was happening inside. At least that was what Noah hoped.

 

Jimmy's heart stopped when Cody's voice rang out by the door. "What the h.. is goin' on here?"

Jimmy heard the man turn around. He had finally been caught off guard. Jimmy smiled under the hood. Cody would even the odds. He grunted under the gag to get his friend's attention, maybe Cody didn't even recognize him?

"Found your murderer," the man said.

"You found Jimmy?" Cody asked surprised.

Jimmy's eyes almost popped out. Murderer? How come his name was connected to a murder? Why was Cody talking so strange? Why was his friend connecting him to such an act of atrocious violence? Who the hell was he supposed to have killed and when?

"Yep, he was just about to kill another girl when I stopped him. Pastor Allen is just taking her to his study to examine her. We'll have to get the Doc."

Cody stepped up and took the hood off Jimmy. Jimmy had to blink at the strong light from the kerosene lamp Cody was holding. He found Cody looking at him with disgust. Jimmy tried to tell him he was wrong. But the gag prohibited him to utter anything at all. All he could do was shake his head in denial.

"Goddammit Jimmy! What's happenin' to you? You gone completely off the rails?" Cody turned his eyes to the girl that was sitting at Jimmy's side with her head down. Cody's face got white and he fell to his knees and placed the lamp at the girl's side. "Lindsay?" he whispered, "what happened to you?"

"She was fighting me when I found her," the man told Cody, "I didn't know if she was in on it or not. You know her? Can I let her loose?"

"Of course you can," Cody spoke, caressing Lindsay's tear-soaked cheek, "she saw Jimmy kill that other girl. Jimmy must have gotten to know and came after her." Lindsay looked at him with desperation, her lips moved and Cody looked at her in surprise. It looked like she was repeating the word "No" over and over again. She's shocked, Cody thought, she doesn't know what's happening right now. Poor baby, these past days must have been hell on her.

Jimmy stared at his friend. Was this part of some kind of plan? Or had Cody gone completely mad himself? Was Cody part of it all? Jimmy suddenly found himself without a clue as to whom was friend or foe. If Cody was playing a part, he definitely was a better actor than Jimmy ever would have thought. Cody's cold stare in his direction was a masterpiece in authenticity. Jimmy found himself thinking the most ridiculous thoughts in the situation, he actually wanted to ask Cody if the had been taking acting lessons? Shaking his head, he tried to concentrate on the situation and the possible development he was fearing.

When Kane bent to free the girl he saw Cody lower his gun and Kane go for his, Jimmy had no other option than to rely on the vane hope that Cody was fooling the man and would help him. He kicked the man hard and made him fall over on top of Lindsay, having the girl scream in fear and sending the lamp rolling over the floor. The man turned and took a hold of the girl. His gun was pointing at Jimmy and Jimmy saw the finger starting to pull the trigger.

Cody growled in anger and lunged himself at Jimmy. "It's over Jimmy, don't make me shoot you. You'll have to stand a trial!" Taking a firm grip on his collar Cody shook him, barking in his ear. Jerking Jimmy to his feet Cody stared defiantly at him. His glare was so spiteful and scornful that Jimmy finally understood; nobody could put up an act this good. William F. Cody actually believed he had murdered somebody in cold blood. An innocent girl. Jimmy threw himself backwards and rested up against the wall when the door burst open. Growling Cody raised his gun and pointed it to Jimmy's chest.

Jimmy closed his eyes.


	18. Chapter 18

Jimmy's first reaction to his friends storming in was to exhale in relief, then he remembered Cody's accusations and glared at them instead. Were they here to help him or to arrest him or possibly shoot him?

"Let that gun go Cody," Lou said and Jimmy felt his knees go weak of the relief that had him trembling. Kid was walking up to Cody with his hand extended. Cody wheezed at him to get out of the way. The man on the ground was at a total loss. Clutching the girl's neck till she gulped for air, his gun was pointing to her head.

"Kid," Noah warned as he saw the situation. Kid turned and Cody pushed him towards Jimmy. Kid stepped to stand right in front of his friend.

Ike held Buck and Noah back, they just had to see how this was going to unfold, too many uncertainties around to jump to conclusions or actions just yet.

"Cody," Lou tried again seeing that his gun now was pointing at the Kid. "You're wrong, Jimmy had nothing to do with this mess."

Cody laughed, "you're saying this because your boyfriend is standing right in front of him right now. An' Kid, I'm telling you this much, step away or so help me God I'll have to do something to you too."

Lou was about to protest to the 'boyfriend' part when she detected movements in the facility of the door.

"You're all wrong," a voice at the door told them. They all turned to look at the girl standing in the doorway.

"Cynthia?" Lou asked and was about to drop the gun in surprise. The girl looked at the boy standing in the middle of the room. Squinting her eyes, she stared at him, while the pastor's eyes almost popped out from the sockets. Lou didn't know if it was from the increased pressure form the barred Cynthia was pressing to his throat or the recognition.

"Well well Louise," Cynthia smiled, "nothing is ever what it seems."

"I'll second that," Lou growled.

"Lose the gun and step up beside your friends," Cynthia told her. Lou hesitated, letting her eyes wander over the room, she assessed everyone's position. Standing in the doorway with your gun pointed at a hostage definitely had its advantages. But we outnumber them, there's just two of them and five of us, six if Cody gets his senses back, Lou thought as she let her eyes wander over the room, calculating the risks. What turned the scores to their disadvantage was the guns held on the pastor and Lindsay. She turned to look at Cody as she dropped her gun. His face was white as he stared at the girl in the doorway. But his gun was still pointing at Kid and Jimmy. In the corner of her eyes, she saw the man holding Lindsay turn his gun on Cody.

What happened next, she had no clear idea, everything seemed to unfold all at once. Somebody took a hold of her waist and flung her to the side. A shot was fired and glass was shattering all over the place. Lou threw herself on her gun laying on the floor and fired at the man holding Lindsay. She cursed as she realized she had only wing-clipped him slightly, not bad enough to send him out of mission. As she tried to fire again the gun clicked. He watched her and raised his gun to answer the fire, Lou swung herself out of the trajectory of the bullet. Watching in agony as the man smiled and turned the barrel back to press it against Lindsay's temple. I absolute terror she saw Cynthia aim at Jimmy and all she could do was yell a warning in his direction. Then she rolled around and pressed herself with the back up against the wall, trying to get something to stop the events from unfolding in a disastrous way. Kid flung himself onto Jimmy, forcing him out of the way as Cynthia shot right at them, sending a picture down from the wall crashing onto the floor. Jimmy grunted under his gag as he saw Kid fling himself toward him and had barely time to turn his side to ease the impact. His friend tripped and landed hard on him, pushing him out of balance. Then they both tumbled down in a heap front of Lou. A third gunshot had the girl in the doorway yelp in pain and a gun fell to the floor. A forth gunshot had Lindsay wailing in despair. Lou peered over her bunkmates. The pastor had a gun in his hand, it was still emitting smoke. He stared at the man holding Lindsay, his lips moved in what looked like a silent prayer. Then he sank to his knees and keeled backwards to lean on the door frame. Lou darted her eyes to the sound of Lindsay crying hysterically. The man slumped over her had a hole in his forehead and was staring without seeing into the room. Lou turned her eyes to Cody, he had sunken down on his knees and stared at Lindsay crying. His gun pointing to the floor.

Lou pushed the struggling Jimmy from her and rose on shaking knees. Having a better view over the situation she realized that Cynthia was going for the gun at her side.

"Hold it right there," she said as she took her own gun from the floor and cocked it.

Cynthia stopped her struggle as Noah moved towards the gun and kicked it out of her reach.

"Damn you!" The girl wheezed in Lou's direction.

"Thank you," Noah said as he walked to tie the girl up. Lou smiled and let her eyes wander back to Jimmy and Kid at her feet. Jimmy smiled back at her, a silent 'thank you' evident in his eyes. Lou smiled back at him, relieved to see him still alive and breathing. Buck sank to his knees to help Jimmy free himself of the ropes around his wrists. Then she turned her attention to the Kid at her feet.

"Kid!" She squealed seeing him lie perfectly still.

Buck was freeing Jimmy and looked at the Kid. Kid looked right back at him with a puzzled face, like he was waking up from a nap. Then he moved his hand up to his nose and whined. Lou fell to her knees and shook him. "Kid, are you hit?"

Jimmy drew a deep breath having been freed from the gag. Having collected himself, he turned to his friend lying still on the floor. Knowing he had landed rather hard on the Kid, he grinned at him. "Don't worry Lou, I just landed on him, he's just out of air!"

Kid lay staring up on the ceiling, with his hand over the nose and eyes watering. Lou leaned over him. "Kid, are you okay? Are you hit? Say something!" Then she frowned at the sight of blood trickling from his already damaged nose. He still said nothing but Lou could tell he was steeling himself from screaming out loud. Tapping his shoulder, she tried to comfort him while turning to Jimmy. "Jimmy, you okay? You ain't hit are you?"

Jimmy shook his head while massaging his wrists.

"Everybody alright?" Lou asked into the room. Since she got assurances they were, she turned back to Kid.

Jimmy leaned in over him too. "Why ain't he talkin'?" he asked Lou.

"I think he's afraid to express his opinion being near a house of the Lord and everything," Lou stated.

Jimmy eyed her with confusion before turning back to the Kid. "I think that nose of yours is crooked, let me..." Moving the hand to straighten his friend's nose made Kid get up in an instance, fighting them both off.

"Just dun't dhuzz the ouze" he complained, crawling away from them, "piis dnot de ouse!"

"What the hell is he talking about?" Jimmy asked a hysterically laughing Buck.

 

Scared girls appeared in the doorway as pastor Allen slowly came to. With one look at the man he had killed, he started shaking and talking incoherently. "I killed my own brother, I am forever damned. I will forever dwell in burning hell. Oh God, forgive me, I never intended to end his life, I just wanted to stop him. I'll burn in hell alongside of him, will I not?"

Lou cast a glance in his direction, wondering if he really had gone crazy.

 

The girls helped the reverend to lean up against the wall and free the passage. He remain sitting with his head down, his lips still moving. The rest of the riders sat sprawled on the floor. Too shook up to do anything. Cody stared blindly right ahead. Ike put a hand on his shoulder and the blond rider flinched. Ike signed that he'd go get Teaspoon and the Doc. Cody remain staring at the man that lay dead over the hysterically crying girl. Noah eased the man off her and the girl clung to his lap, trembling and sobbing. Noah had no other alternative than to stand there and hold her, stroking her hair. Mumbling soothingly while glancing at Cody, begging him to take his place.

Cody turned his eyes to Jimmy sitting leaned up against the wall. A silly smile of relief on his face. William F. Cody was at a loss for words for the first time in his life. He opened his mouth repeatedly to try and say how immensely sorry he was for suspecting Jimmy. Jimmy smiled in his direction and poked Lou in the ribs. "Lou, for the first time ever in his life, Billy here has nothing to say. I'd say there's hope for everyone!"

"Oh Jimmy," Cody finally spat out. "I had no idea, if I had known I would never have..."

"Cody, please save me the sermon." Jimmy was holding up his hand to stop the rider's flow of words. "Next time you start singing when we're out on a ride, I'm gonna remind you of this. I hope it'll shut you up."

Cody sent an apologetic smile in Jimmy's direction. Jimmy smiled back and the peace was restored.

 

One of the girls hesitantly stepped further into the room and looked around. She visibly shuddered at the sight, but then she pulled herself together. Lou heard her yell orders into the hallway. Lou still couldn't move. She sat leaned up against the wall with her fist clasped around Kid's coat. She just couldn't move.

Jimmy leaned in towards her; "you okay Lou? Look a little bit pale to me."

Kid's head snapped up from its bent down position, peering at her, he held a hand under the dripping nose. Never in her life would she show him she was shook up. "Just fine," she smiled in Jimmy's direction.

A girl crouched in front of them. "That eye looks bad, I'll help you," she smiled at Jimmy and held out her hand, touching his chin. Another girl approached with clean towels and a basin filled with water. Jimmy looked perfectly happy when the girls tended to him.

Lou rolled her eyes and turned to the Kid. He was holding his head down and Lou could see the blood still dripping to the floor. A girl stopped at his side and looked at him before she turned her eyes in Lou's direction and made a questioning face. Lou smiled back at the girl named Mabel. They had been working together only two days ago, somehow it seemed like a lifetime had passed by.

"Well Louise, you sure are full of surprises," the girl said. "First you disappear and have us all worry ourselves sick and then...this...I don't know what to say? You sure are something else."

"Uh Mabel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to have you worry about me, never thought that far ahead."

The girl smiled and nodded her head in a sign that she understood. "Is this him?" she asked.

"Who?" Lou wasn't exactly sure to what Mabel was referring.

"The violent man you were supposed to marry? He doesn't look that dangerous to me."

"No," Lou said shaking her head as Kid's gaze became wide-eyed and worried. "This is a friend."

"Good," Mabel nodded, "I'd hate to have to hurt him, he looks like a kind soul, but then you never know."

Kneeling besides them, she smiled at the Kid, "Are you a kind soul?"

"Abhsoludly."

"Huh?" Mabel asked.

"His nose is broken," Lou explained.

"I can see that," Mabel nodded. "I'll help you take care of him if you like."

To Lou's relief Kid didn't look half as happy as Jimmy as they forced him to raise his head so they could assess the damage. His hand clutched on to Lou's shirt in terror when Mabel closed in on him. In fact he was holding on to her like he was afraid for his life. Lou patted his shoulder as Mabel gave him the towel. He wouldn't let anybody of them near the nose. But by the way Mabel was looking at the Kid, Lou was glad he looked dreadful. Mabel was dangerous around men, Lou could tell by the smile she sent the Kid. Lou growled and moved closer to him. Gratefully Kid clutched on to her while moaning in pain.

Jimmy laughed sarcastically and called him pathetic. When Anne pressed the towel against the sore eye, Jimmy found himself whining pitifully. Kid let out a superior snort but had to keel over as he did.

Mabel stood to watch the two. "Men," she said in a motherly voice, "they're such babies at times."

Both Jimmy and Kid shot her deadly glares. Lou found herself chuckling and agreeing completely. She was still laughing as Teaspoon stormed in. Casting an eye on the devastation in the room, he cleared his throat as he stepped over the pastor's legs and turned to Jimmy. "Now son. I'm dying for an explanation." He lifted metal cuffs up in the air and buried his eyes into the poor Jimmy. In Jimmy's stunned surprise even his left eye opened slightly. Then he cast a desperate glance in Lou's direction, begging her to tell him this was just a joke.

But Lou wasn't sure Teaspoon was joking.


	19. Chapter 19

The silence that spread around the room at Teaspoon's utterance was almost tangible. Lou stared at Teaspoon, he couldn't mean that, he must be joking, right? Glancing at Jimmy, she saw how his jaws tightened. Kid and Cody stared dumbfounded at Teaspoon. Cody felt so confused he thought he'd have to lie down. What was going on here? Kid stared with disbelief at the man holding the cuffs, he was just about to open his mouth to protest when Teaspoon spoke again.

"Well Jimmy, who do I arrest? I'm waitin' here for you to tell me." A broad grin spread over the stern face as Teaspoon threw the cuffs to the floor and walked over to Jimmy. Jimmy mouth fell open as Teaspoon tapped his shoulder rather hard. "Son, am I happy to see you!"

Jimmy smiled back, still shaking. "Don't ever pull that trick on me again Teaspoon, you almost had me goin' there for a while."

"Almost?" Teaspoon chuckled, "I had you totally convinced son, you should have seen yourself. Never have I seen a more incredulous face. You gotta work on that pokerface of yours, son." Peering at Jimmy he shook his head. "That eye ain't lookin' too good either. Everybody okay?" he asked turning to the room again. Cody had laid down and Kid was staring at him with blood dropping from his nose. Noah was sitting at a girl's side and stroke her hair awkwardly. Buck was shaking his head in Teaspoon's direction while keeping an eye on a tied-up wriggling girl on the floor. He was signing something in Ike's direction. They were probably badmouthing him again. Finally he turned his eyes to Lou sitting by Kid's side, both clutching on to each other. "See everything is as usual around here," Teaspoon remarked. "Everywhere you go you find trouble."

Then he straightened his back and shook his head sadly. "The worst part of it is that then I have to come clean the mess up."

The accusation woke the riders up, Teaspoon chuckled as he turned to the man sitting in the doorway mumbling to himself. The good pastor did not seem to be able to help in clearing the thing up. "Okay Jimmy, tell me your side of the story."

Jimmy shrugged and took a deep breath. "I don't remember anything between leaving the Kid and Lou besides the trail and waking up in a cold hut. I swear, I don't have a clue!"

"I know what happened," Lindsay's frail voice informed them. "I saw it all!"

Cody finally scrambled to his feet and leaped to the girl's side. Lindsay let go of Noah and fell into his arms. Noah looked enormously relieved.

"Can you tell me?" Teaspoon inquired softly, seeing the girl's white face as she still trembled and clung to Cody. The girl nodded.

"Me and Mamie were going to the outhouse that evening. And we did hear somebody talk. It was Cynthia and this man talking about looking for money. Mamie wanted to know what it was all about so she snuck up closer. He spotted her and dragged her away, deeper into the woods. Cynthia went with them so I followed, I never thought anything would happen. What I saw him do to Mamie was..." She sobbed into Cody's arms. Pastor Allen's head snapped up and he looked at the girl with consternation. Cody stroke her hair till she calmed down and continued. "He beat and raped her and Cynthia stood right there, not far away. When he was done she told him to kill her so she couldn't tell. That was when I started running. But I was so scared I stumbled and fell. Cynthia caught up with me. I lied and told her I could get her the money, I just tried to save my life."

Teaspoon nodded, the girl had probably done right.

"I have a sister you see," Lindsay's voice had become a whisper. "Cynthia told me she'd have the man do the same to her if I didn't help them out. Then there was this sound of a horse coming and Jimmy appeared. Kane was right beside the buckboard so he hit him in the head and then he shot Mamie."

"Who shot?" Pastor Allen looked at his protégée with hope, a vain hope she would declare somebody else than the brother he had just killed as the girl's killer.

"That awful, horrible, ungodly man," the girl cried and pointed to the man laying face down on the floor.

Pastor Allen's face got whiter, he looked like he wanted to throw up. It looked like he lost all hope, all dignity and all trust in that same moment as Lindsay pointed to his brother on the floor. "I shouldn't have helped him," he stammered.

"Helped him?" Jimmy barked, "you helped him?"

"Yes I did," the man said and lowered his head.

"How in heavens..on earth did you help him?" Teaspoon asked.

"When we were younger he was accused of rape once. He told me he had nothing to do with it and I believed him. I helped him out by telling the Marshal he was with me the night it had happened. The evidence was only circumstantial so the Marshal let him go. Later I found out he really did do it. But Kane was already gone at that time so I prayed he wouldn't redo it and I told nobody what he had done. The girl was dead and I still loved my brother. I let him run, so I am the one that really killed Mamie. I am really the one you should blame for this...this..slaughter."

"I see," Teaspoon nodded sadly.

"I don't understand Lindsay," Cody asked, "you were locked in the pastor's room all the time. How did he get to you?"

"Cynthia locked us in the room. She forced me to keep quiet and then she handed me over to him as soon as you thought I was asleep. I was so scared I did everything he told me. Cynthia left the window unlatched so she went inside the room and pretended to be me."

"So that's why you never spoke to me?" Cody asked.

"I never knew you where here until you burst in, and then I didn't now what to believe anymore. I wondered if you were in on it too since you seemed to believe Jimmy killed Mamie."

"What was this man after in the first place?" Lou wondered. "If he just wanted the money, wouldn't there have been easier ways to get to it?"

"He wanted fame and glory," pastor Allen said, "he wanted to be celebrated for his good deed. He decided to frame Jimmy and then to catch him and become a hero. He probably figured there was a reward too. Kane was not stupid, he was just sick. When you folks all turned up he had to change plans."

"Yep," Jimmy nodded. "At the hut he told me all about how he would gather a posse and hunt me down. Then he told me he'd shoot us both and make it look like we killed each other. Pastor Allen's right, he wanted fame and glory."

"And look where that got him," Lou said looking at the man on the floor.

They all turned to look at him and pastor Allen cringed at the sight. Lifting his hands to Teaspoon he told the Marshal to arrest him for murder.

"Murder?" Teaspoon said and scratched his head, "sounds more like self-defense to me. What you say? Was it murder of self-defense?"

"Self-defense," all of them muttered. Lou glanced at the Kid and he nodded his head in her direction. The man wasn't what he had thought he was. He had been wrong. Lou smiled triumphantly.

Teaspoon walked over to the girl lying tied up oh the floor. "And you young lady, what do you have to say in your defense."

"Self-defense," Cynthia spat out scornfully. "I was defending myself from rotting away in this hellhole. I worked for that money and got nothing. That money was rightly mine just as much as anybody elses!"

"I don't think greed will qualify as defense young lady," Teaspoon said calmly.

 

Lou helped Mabel get the pastor into his room. He was still shaking when they led him to the chair by the window. He sank into it and Mabel turned to make some coffee for them all. As Lou turned to follow, Pastor Allen called out to her: "Louise!"

Lou turned and watched the man. In his present state, all the charisma that had drawn her to him was gone. He looked haggard and frail. Not at all like the man she had encountered only a few days ago.

"Why did you run away like that?"

Lou turned her face to the floor and felt her cheeks blush. Now that she thought of it, maybe it hadn't been what she suspected. Maybe the past had haunted her again.

"Has somebody done something to you to make you react like that, Louise?"

Lou lifted her head and looked at the man. "Yes," she said.

"I thought so, you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"When you will be wanting to, is there somebody you can talk to about it?"

Lou thought about the Kid, maybe he'd listen, maybe he'd understand. Or maybe Rachel? Maybe all of them would understand, they were her family. "I think so," she said softly.

"That young man in there?"

"I hope so," Lou said and blushed again.

"I noticed your devotion to each other. Never let go of that, but don't step blindly into anything either. You're a bright, courageous girl, Louise and beautiful too. That dangerous for a girl, Louise. Don't ever let go of your friends. It's so hard to make new ones. It's hard because you don't know what they want from you, keep the ones you love and feel safe around close and don't ever let go."

"I won't," Lou smiled at the man.

The man watched her with sad eyes. "Will you be fine Louise? I am so sorry I scared you, it was never my intention."

"I know," Lou admitted. "I didn't tell you the truth to begin with. I didn't run from a violent man at all. I think I ran from myself."

"We all do at times," Pastor Allen said softly, "the important thing is that we find our way back. If it's only possible to find, we should all look for the way back to ourselves. But sometimes it is really better to leave everything behind, you just have to know when." He was looking out the window and spoke almost inaudibly. He had sunken into a heap and looked like he himself wanted to run away from everything.

"I don't understand.." Lou began, sensing the unspoken message in his words more than understanding it.

Pastor Allen looked back at her. "I have to leave Louise, I have to make amends. I will have to find another way."

"But the girls.."

"I've made provisions for all the girls. They will be taken care of. I know people that will take them in and treat them like their daughters. There are still good people out there even if at times it doesn't seem that way. It so true what's been said, the damnation is not the evil, but the good ignoring the evil. I can't ignore it any longer, it is in me too and I have to make amends."

"Will you be alright Reverend?"

"It's still Paul, Louise," the man smiled sadly at her. "I will be just fine. With the Lord's help I might still be able to do some good in this world. Seeing your friends help us all I know I have said some terrible things. I have been so wrong, now it's time to learn anew. The demons I saw in others were in me, not in the color of the skin or the impairments, they were in me, I just couldn't admit to it and looked for the evil in others. I will leave the demons behind. I will become a better man. I have finally understood that it is not my place to judge, only to try and understand. It is nobody's place to judge another human being. The Indians have a saying for this; 'Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins.' I forgot that and took it upon me to be the judge of good or bad and only God can do that Louise, no man is able to. Only God and I misinterpreted his words. I'll try my best and become a reverend worthy of the God I'm serving."

Louise watched the man in the chair as he spoke to the darkness outside, searching his soul. When he rose from the chair and put on the black jacket, he regained his stance and the charismatic man Louise had first laid eyes on was back in the room. She smiled to herself when she thought about a man sitting on the wooden floor in the other room. Blood dripping from his nose, he still had something that appealed to her and it would never wear off, not even if he removed his coat. It came from his inside, not his outer appearance. He might not have the eloquence of the reverend but he had the purest of intentions and the biggest of hearts. Lou knew she could rely on that. Pastor Allen had taught her a lot, without even knowing. And she needed to thank him for that.

"I know you will," Lou smiled and stepped up to the man. Holding out her hand to shake his. Paul smiled and took her hand. Instead of shaking it he squeezed it tenderly. "Go with God Louise, go and help your friend, that nose looks dreadful!"

With a huge smile on her lips, Lou stepped out. With a last glance on the tall figure by the window, she turned back to her real family. There was work to be done and wounds to be healed.

Not to forget noses to be straightened out.


	20. Chapter 20

Cody sat sulking on the porch when Lou rode in. Throwing the poach to Ike, she slid down from Lightning. Her first ride had been tiring, halfway to Blue Creek she wondered if she shouldn't have stayed in the pastor's care after all? But as soon as she got the Sweetwater waystation in sight, she lost all her doubts about where her home was. Wasn't nobody's fault it had been raining all the way to Blue Creek.

"What's up Cody?" She asked the usually so exuberant rider as Noah came for her horse. "You look like you sold the butter and lost the money."

"Lindsay left."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I had no idea she'd leave today."

"Well she did," Cody sighed, looking absolutely miserable.

"I'm so sorry, but you still know where she went don't you?"

"Well yeah," Cody admitted, fiddling with his hat for a while before turning to Lou, the old twinkle back in his eyes. "But tell you the truth, it was getting hard to be that good all the time."

Lou found herself smiling broadly in her friend's direction. Cody was unbeatable, nothing got him down. He always turned everything around to his advantage.

Rachel opened the door and pointed to the house. "Get yourself inside Lou, you look like something the cat dragged in. I'll be in to fix you a bath, hop along!"

Lou chuckled at the scolding, it sounded like sweet music to her ears. Still laughing, she walked over to the house. Catching a glimpse of Kid and Jimmy chopping wood, she laughed even harder. Teaspoon had kept his words, her bunkmates were paying for the fight. She'd have to get there and rub it in! With their friendly squabble following her, she sighed with content as she took the stairs into the main house in two mighty strides.

 

Freshened Lou walked up to the two still chopping. Jimmy was grunting loudly as he stapled the wood. Kid had to stop every once in a while and complain about the blisters. Lou stood back for a while, just looking at the two, both so very different and yet so alike in some strange way. Their hair-trigger friend had eased up considerably in the past days, the big cloud hanging over him seemed to have moved location.

Jimmy walked up and put a log in front of the Kid. "Try and hit the log this time and don't go aimin' for my left foot!"

"If you'd put down those logs in a steadier fashion I wouldn't slip! Having them wobble around when you hit ain't the safest way to go around doin' things, Jimmy. But then again, you never were one for safety, were ya?"

"I'm just tellin' ya to..."

"Boys, boys," Lou chuckled, cutting Jimmy off in mid-sentence, "that's what you get for running into doors!"

Kid turned and smiled in her direction. "Lou, you have to stop being this nice, it ain't like you."

Jimmy snickered, "at least she didn't mention your nose!"

Kid rolled his eyes and turned away. Lou walked up to him. "Come to think of it, let me see."

"No Lou, I've already heard it all."

"No Kid, I really wanna see."

"No you don't Lou. He's gettin' uglier and uglier. Soon he'll be scaring the crows away. The scarecrows in this county will be out of a job."

"Jimmy," Lou warned with half a smile.

"And how's the knee?" Kid asked, "lemme see".

"You wanna see my knee?"

"Fair's fair no?"

"Huh, you two, what if nobody sees nothing and we'll all be happy." Jimmy intervened, amused by the two at his side. "Except for the Kid of course 'coz he'll be wantin' to see everythin'!"

"Jimmy!" Both Kid and Lou grunted.

"Well, it's the truth now ain't it?" Jimmy made a face at the two. "I'll be leavin' you alone to examine various body parts. I'll have to let Rachel examine my blisters."

Kid and Lou dared not look at each other as Jimmy turned and walked away, glancing briefly over his shoulder at the two of them. Awkwardly they stood side by side and followed Jimmy walk away with their eyes locked on his back in fear of looking at each other. Finally Kid cleared his throat. "Really Lou, you okay? I don't think Teaspoon lettin' you ride out was..."

With a grunt Lou raised her trouser-leg over the knee, "See! In perfect shape!"

Kid crouched and let his fingers run over her knee, squeezing it tenderly. Shivers ran down Lou's spine.

"Seems a little sore to me, Lou." He turned his eyes to hers. "Sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine Kid," she said in a slightly shaky voice. His warm hand resting on her knee had her trembling. Turning his attention back to the scar, he let his thumb run over the healed injury. She knew she was blushing and she felt ashamed that she was acting like a timid schoolgirl in front of him. He always got to her, one way or another. When she wasn't blushing she was raging mad. No one of the other boys had her ever this rattled and that by just standing close. Why did he do this to her, why did she get assaulted by these feelings when around him? She briefly remembered Paul's charm and his voice making her float on happiness. This was so different, this was at her reach and that scared her, it scared her that she might be wrong. It hadn't worked out before, it most probably never would. If she succumbed, she might be too disappointed to survive if it came crumbling down. Kid raised his eyes to hers and smiled, making Lou's heart take an unexpected leap, his hand still warming her knee. It would hurt so tremendously to lose herself into him anew and have reality hit her hard at the inevitable awakening. She could not let that happen, not again, she did not have the strength to go through the pain it might convey. Her eyes rested in his, where serenity and calm dwelled. Swallowing hard she broke the gaze. Better not love at all than get hurt, she'd fight these feelings with all her might and she'd win. Some day she'd be able to look at the Kid and feel only friendship, she had to. Loving him was too overwhelming, too intense. She had learned that love was never easy, it was yielding and forgetting, taking and letting go. A need to be needed. It was all these contradictory notions all rolled up in the scaring and tempting, yet fragile, closeness of two hearts beating in separate rhythms.

She let the leg of her pants down as Kid rose. Shyly looking at him, she noticed his nose was getting back to its normal size and color. Grabbing his coat she scrutinized the nose, making him look away in embarrassment. When she reached to touch it Kid jerked his head back. "I'll be careful Kid, just wanna check if it's straight."

Kid laughed softly. "Would you care, Lou?"

"Believe me or not Kid but I would."

There was that awkward silence again. So many things unsaid hanging in the air, refusing to get spoken. The air around them filling with that quivering tension again, a feeling neither of them seemed to know how to handle. This time Lou cleared her throat first. "Seems straight to me Kid, still sore?"

"I'll be fine Lou, it's only a nose."

She looked into his eyes and smiled back at him. "Rachel is callin' for supper Kid, come on, I'll get you something for those blisters too."

Kid chuckled and hooked his arm around hers and started walking. Lou glanced at him from the side as darkness fell fast. Whatever happened she never wanted to lose touch, she wanted him around in whatever way she could. "Friends, huh, Kid?" she asked as they stepped up the stairs.

Kid stopped before opening the door. "Always Lou," he told her huskily with his head tilted to the side and those eyes reaching down to her core again, like they always did. Lou wasn't quite sure if he wanted to kiss her and she wasn't quite sure she wanted to be kissed. Kid's hand moved to her elbow and she suddenly knew she indeed wanted to be kissed. Her earlier intentions lost in the moment his hand enfolded her elbow.

The door was opened with force, pushing Kid towards her. Lou instinctively took a step backwards to avoid him tumbling into her with his nose first again. The wood under her feet made a cracking sound and she stepped another step backward in fear of the rotten plank Cody had promised to fix ages ago. Kid saw her stumbling and stepped closer to save her. The plank finally gave in under his weight and they both lost their balance. Stumbling down the stairs they fell to the ground as Cody pushed himself out of the door. "There you are, I was comin' to get you, what are you doin' on the ground like that?"

"Gettin' more sore body parts for each other to examine," Jimmy remarked sarcastically from behind Cody.

 

 

Teaspoon let his eyes wander around the table, resting for a while on each of his protégés present. Cody looked back at him with sorrow in his eyes. Teaspoon let his eyes wander to Jimmy. He had been in an awful mood lately. But the clouds seemed to have cleared up. Yesterday he even cracked a smile.

"Boys," he stated and added "girl" as Lou looked up at him. "I hope you all learned a lesson from all this."

"All what?" Jimmy asked irritated, sensing another sermon approaching.

"About the perils of blind devotion."

"Excuse me?" Lou rebutted. "Blind what?"

"Blind devotion my dear," Teaspoon smiled, "you were all too wrapped up in your beliefs to see the truth behind it all."

"What did you put in his coffee Rachel?" Jimmy let out in an irritated snarl. Noah had to hide behind his back while laughing quietly. Cody peered at Noah from across the table and they both had to bow their heads, both holding their breaths to placate the threatening laughter. They sensed it somehow wouldn't be appropriate to burst into hysterical laughter right now.

"Now listen up all, I'll start with you, Jimmy. You had blind devotion in yourself. If you would have waited for Kid and Lou and not run off by yourself halfcocked, you wouldn't have been in this mess to begin with. Am I right son?"

Jimmy stared blankly at him. "I think you mean blind faith Teaspoon, not devotion."

"Sometimes that can be just the same, son. Don't interrupt me now, I have a lot to say."

Kid moaned theatrically.

Teaspoon turned to him. "Oh, I'll get to you in just a minute. Jimmy, when you need help you gotta ask for it and allow people to help you. You can't go off all on yourself and cause damage. Your devotion to do it all by yourself ended up in you almost getting killed. Enough said, son?"

"Yes please!" Buck whined from the far end of the table.

Teaspoon ignored him and turned to Cody. "Son, I admire the way you stood up for the pastor, but in doing that you closed your eyes to the truth. You got confused about who your real friends were, you were blinded by the dazzling grandeur and forgot the small tokens that constitutes real friendship. Think about that son!"

"I'm trying Teaspoon, I'm really trying." A confused Cody nodded while casting desperate glances around the table to get some help in the interpretation of Teaspoon's sermon.

"Same goes for you Lou," the Stationmanager added sternly.

"Me? What did I do?"

"Well let me see - you ran away from here to there, then you ran away from there to here. I'd say you were blinded by your devotion to finding trouble."

Lou's eyes almost popped out. She leaned in to the Kid. "Jimmy's right, I think he's had one too many!"

Kid chuckled, drawing Teaspoon's attention to him.

"Uh, Kid -."

Kid tried to make himself invisible.

"You were blinded by your devotion to righteousness. See sometimes what we think is right turns out to be wrong. Or the other way around."

Kid peered at the stationmaster. "Teaspoon, I think you're blinded by your devotion to lengthy speeches."

"Sarcasm suits you about as well as that nose of yours, son," Teaspoon remarked as the riders tried to hide their bubbling laughter. They were just about to die when Teaspoon rose to his feet and stretched his arms lazily. "I think I have made myself clear, now I'm gonna devote myself to some sleep."

As the door closed behind him, the riders burst out in a loud cackling laughter lead by Noah that had given in to the spasm and was shaking while leaning onto the table. Even Rachel had to sit down and laugh. Tears running down their faces they howled helplessly.

"It's all my fault," Rachel laughed, "I told him to learn one new word a day. And I gave him this book." With a squeal Rachel sank her head to the table and joined the others in their howling mirth.

"Let's find it and free him of it," Noah whined breathlessly, "let's all blindly devote ourselves to that!"


End file.
